tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post6702713084642479264..comments2023-05-20T07:00:47.392-04:00Comments on Musings of a Sefardi-Israeli-American Gal: The World Won't UnderstandSefardi Galhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03041724538794932296noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-79957333722634540122011-10-25T22:37:17.753-04:002011-10-25T22:37:17.753-04:00my own 2 cents if it helps you. the problem is a u...my own 2 cents if it helps you. the problem is a ubiquitous systemic one and not a question of scarcity of supply (in this case suitable boys to fall for). The problem is a lack of context. <br /><br />Shidduchim/blind dates lack context to justify themselves long enough to "build/bond" a shared connection with the other. 9 out of 10 times i think you'll find you become more attached to a co-worker or a family friend, your attachment stems from the backdrop of shared context with the other, beyond the attributes of the individual per se.<br /><br />Maybe I sound like gibberish, my hope was to help, if not in giving a solution atleast in understanding the problem.<br /><br />I'm willing to bet that a handful of the boys you already dated you could have fallen for, were your interactoin with them have been within a neutral, repetitive context of your own personal life as opposed to the artificial forced context of a shidduch date.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-87951797643220075982011-07-17T09:46:42.870-04:002011-07-17T09:46:42.870-04:00My observations have shown me that those people wh...My observations have shown me that those people who are very picky have a very hard time getting married, even if they have a lot to offer. Marriage happens when people throw away their list of demands and decide they just want to get married already, even to an average person.<br /><br />Those are only my observations; the observations of other people could be very different.Mr. Cohenhttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/DerechEmet/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-81491286568453937892011-07-11T21:44:11.189-04:002011-07-11T21:44:11.189-04:00I love the second-to-last paragraph.. Beautifully ...I love the second-to-last paragraph.. Beautifully put.%Shocked%https://www.blogger.com/profile/08017279590797608442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-22748012065030721722011-07-11T18:10:10.073-04:002011-07-11T18:10:10.073-04:00Hahaha I laughed at the Mr. Thornton comment, he i...Hahaha I laughed at the Mr. Thornton comment, he is just....sigh lol I love him bc he is a real, assiduous man that builds himself up. one can admire his strength and perseverance--his virtues are his own. He wasn't born into a "title" or money (like darcy), he built himself up....<br /><br />I know that sometimes it can feel like that but you have to constantly remind yourself that your goal is not to "simply" get married, its to get married to your other half, your partner in this world and in the world to come. People tend to speak of married people as if their "happily ever after" already came. It's as if they are married, everything must be good. And its not true. There are so many divorces among young (and old) frum couples, there are so many issues that we are not even aware of! <br /><br />This reminds me of a conversation between charlotte lucas and lizzie on the subject of marriage. Charlotte seems to take the attitude that the goal is to get married (and fine their times were different) but Lizzie's response and her attitude as a whole is whats great. It's not about marrying anyone. Its about marrying the one that was intended for you.<br /><br />It's not a boyfriend, its not a temporary thing, its the partner with whom you will accomplish your tafkid in this world and you will iy"H eventually share olam haba with...Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11988396893369485100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-75822786930848562352011-07-11T09:58:59.081-04:002011-07-11T09:58:59.081-04:00North & South fixes nearly all bad moods. Sigh...North & South fixes nearly all bad moods. Sigh. <br /><br />What you said, I so hear you. A family member of mine is constantly attacking me, thinking that if I go out with anyone I am supposed to marry them. He doesn't get what I'm waiting for. Just because a guy was interested in me doesn't mean I have to or want to marry him. He's a guy; not THE guy. And I'm willing to wait for him.PLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09350667776363447301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-51749593323083474212011-07-11T06:58:42.213-04:002011-07-11T06:58:42.213-04:00Devorah - thanks! I just hope I'm proved right...Devorah - thanks! I just hope I'm proved right :)Sefardi Galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03041724538794932296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580547604062912375.post-63788408776173899912011-07-10T21:10:09.255-04:002011-07-10T21:10:09.255-04:00Very good post! You are so right.Very good post! You are so right.Devorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09467731180285925143noreply@blogger.com