I'm not sure if I mentioned this on the blog before, but one of my favorite hobbies is people watching. I like looking at people. Random people. All kinds of people. Analyzing their actions, their thoughts, their pasts, present, and future.
As I walk around the streets, I notice so many people. There are just SO many people in this incredible world that HaShem created. Everyone's walking. Quickly. Everyone seems to be in such a rush. And the ones who aren't seem to be weak. Tired. The old lady with her dog. The exhausted mother with her baby in the carriage.
And I wonder: everyone is heading somewhere. Clearly everyone is walking...so that means they're moving - but WHERE are they all going?
There're billions of people in the world. Nearly everyone, who is able to, leaves to the house at some point and walks somewhere. Everyone has that destination. That store they must go to, the errand that needs to be done, the meeting that needs to be attended, the doctor's appointment they must go to...
And why is that so? Why is it that most people don't dwell in their homes all day long? FOREVER?
Because that is the way of the world - that people are always moving. Our mind goes crazy if we're idle and tells the body: BE BUSY! If that's true for the physucal reality of the world, then shouldn't that also be the spiritual reality of this world? That our neshama should always be moving?
And just like people KNOW where they're walking to - shouldn't our neshama KNOW where its going?
And anyway, what is our neshama?
Well, I once heard an amazing quote that, since then, has become one of my all-time favorite quotes. "You DON'T have a soul. You have a body. You ARE a soul."
Our neshama is our essence. Our essence is just BEGGING to be close to HaShem. There's this magnetic pull. If you can picture your neshama in Shamayim... it would just instantly pull towards where the Shechina is.
Yet, we're in this world. And so many people, SO many of these billions of people, have no idea that they have a soul. No idea that their soul has an ultimate destination. They just live for the moment. "Go with the flow"
Or go by the motto "life is a deck of cards - you get what's handed to you."
Of those billions of people, we have around 13 million Jews in the world. How many Jews know where they're heading - spiritually?
Now how about you? Yes, you. The one reading this! Do you know where you're heading? Do you realize that every second in this world is CRUCIAL to your life mission, otherwise HaShem wouldn't keep you here?
Scary thoughts.
But no. It's only a scary thought if these were questions that nobody knows the answer to.
Thank G-d, we have a manual to guide us and allow us to access the truth. HaShem gave us the Torah - "etz chayim hee" - she (the Torah) is a tree of life. We LIVE by the Torah. It's not just a lifestyle or a history book or a book full of good advice. It's literally life. Anything antithetical to Torah is death.
That's the only way a neshama can be successful in this world: to view the Torah as LIFE and anything that is NOT Torah is DEATH.
Let's look at what HaRamchal, Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzatto z"l, wrote in his fundamental work of "Mesillat Yesharim" - Path of the Just. His introduction to this incredible sefer is A MUST read for every single Jew. "Chovat Ha'Adam b'olama" - man's obligation (or mission) in this world.
Bli neder, I will post it one day. It's truly life changing.
Shabbat Shalom :)
Friday, March 15, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Juggling the Extremes
Or am I?
Well, yes, I've moved to this new land.
It's sort of near Shamayim.
Have you heard of it?
I'll give you a hint: it starts with the word "Eretz" :)
Oh, and, I have a mini special somebody around whom I carried for 9 months (well, 39 weeks and a few days, actually, but who's counting?).
Baruch HaShem!
So, yes, I've been busy.
But why am I making excuses, anyway? I never committed to a blog.
But still. This blog holds a special place in my heart. It was an island for both my vents and my chizzuk.
To all the readers who have sent me emails: please don't think that I was ignoring you.
I seriously only checked the emails a few days ago. For the first time. I'm not joking.
Anywho, it was Purim a few weeks ago.
Purim has a lot of gadlut to it...it's such a shame so many people miss out the spiritual opportunity and instead solely indulge in physical opportunities (ie: drunk men.)
Speaking of drunk men...
when I was 19, after witnessing one too many religious guys get drunk on Purim, I decided that if my husband would ever get drunk on Purim, I would change the locks to our front door and let him sleep outside.
It was only fair to warn my innocent husband-to-be while we were engaged that I can be cruel if my husband decides to join the drunk frummy bandwagen.
So Baruch HaShem my husband is not one of those idiotic drunk men on Purim (or ever) :)
May HaShem help those men, and may He help me not get so mad at them every year.
Oftentimes, spiritual opportunities can completely pass us by. Why's that? Because whenever there's potential for great purity and holiness, there's also potential for great tuma.
A perfect example of this is:
A perfect example of this is motzei Shabbat. Motzei Shabbat is the time when the holy Shabbat is over, but the queen is still in the vacinity. Our neshama yetera leaves us, and we're left with a feeling of loneliness. Suddenly, we feel the need to do something fulfilling.
Ever wonder why there's such a temptation to "go out" and "have fun" on motzei Shabbat? Yep, that's why. And sadly, many Jews in the world think that going to a movie, club, party, etc. motzei Shabbat will help them fill the lonely spot.
But no.
Since we lost something spiritual, we can only fix the feeling of emptiness with something spiritual. So we have a melaveh malka meal filled with divrei Torah, songs, music, and connection to HaShem.
But this takes a lot of effort! Especially because there's such a strong yetzer hara to ignore the spiritual void and to focus on the physiciality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Saturday night is the most avera-filled evening of the week.
Wherever there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma. Interestingly enough, it doesn't work the other way. If there's a place filled with tuma - you're most likely not going to find great kedusha there.
We also see this in our parashat hashavua (2 weeks ago) with the incident of chet haegel. How could Bnei Yisrael commit just a horrendous avera? They just witnessed Har Sinai and heard HaShem speak to them! I mean, what's more holy and life-changing than that?!
It's a question that all the mefarshim deal with, and many different answers are given. The main one being that it was mainly the erev rav - 1% of the nation who committed the sin.
But still. How could the 1% commit such a grave sin?
The answer is: where there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma.
They could've waited for Moshe while learning together, davening, staying on the high and embracing the holiness that just came upon them. But that's not what happened.
A wise person never thinks he's ONLY immersed in kedusha. Don't be fooled. Be wise and always look out and be aware of the tuma. Never think that you're untouchable, and that the yetzer hara can't fool you. (But also don't think that you're doomed! Afterall, chazal (kiddushin 30b) teach us that HaShem said "barati yetzer hara, barati lo Torah tavlin" (I created the yetzer hara, but I also created the Torah as the antidote for it.)
Once you know what you're competing against, you can use the tools and strength from the yetzer hatov to win the battle and live in the life of holiness.
Mannnnn I just want to LIVEEEEE IN THE HHHHHHOLINESSSSSSSS!
Hatzlacha Rabba to all of my readers. I'll try to respond to all of the emails soon.
(Special shout out to one of my dear readers & former Garden of Emuna chavruta: your email was accidentally deleted, but I would really love to respond to it. Please e-mail me again soon!)
I hope to post soon. But I can't promise :)
Love,
Sefardi Gal
Well, yes, I've moved to this new land.
It's sort of near Shamayim.
Have you heard of it?
I'll give you a hint: it starts with the word "Eretz" :)
Oh, and, I have a mini special somebody around whom I carried for 9 months (well, 39 weeks and a few days, actually, but who's counting?).
Baruch HaShem!
So, yes, I've been busy.
But why am I making excuses, anyway? I never committed to a blog.
But still. This blog holds a special place in my heart. It was an island for both my vents and my chizzuk.
To all the readers who have sent me emails: please don't think that I was ignoring you.
I seriously only checked the emails a few days ago. For the first time. I'm not joking.
Anywho, it was Purim a few weeks ago.
Purim has a lot of gadlut to it...it's such a shame so many people miss out the spiritual opportunity and instead solely indulge in physical opportunities (ie: drunk men.)
Speaking of drunk men...
when I was 19, after witnessing one too many religious guys get drunk on Purim, I decided that if my husband would ever get drunk on Purim, I would change the locks to our front door and let him sleep outside.
It was only fair to warn my innocent husband-to-be while we were engaged that I can be cruel if my husband decides to join the drunk frummy bandwagen.
So Baruch HaShem my husband is not one of those idiotic drunk men on Purim (or ever) :)
May HaShem help those men, and may He help me not get so mad at them every year.
Oftentimes, spiritual opportunities can completely pass us by. Why's that? Because whenever there's potential for great purity and holiness, there's also potential for great tuma.
A perfect example of this is:
A perfect example of this is motzei Shabbat. Motzei Shabbat is the time when the holy Shabbat is over, but the queen is still in the vacinity. Our neshama yetera leaves us, and we're left with a feeling of loneliness. Suddenly, we feel the need to do something fulfilling.
Ever wonder why there's such a temptation to "go out" and "have fun" on motzei Shabbat? Yep, that's why. And sadly, many Jews in the world think that going to a movie, club, party, etc. motzei Shabbat will help them fill the lonely spot.
But no.
Since we lost something spiritual, we can only fix the feeling of emptiness with something spiritual. So we have a melaveh malka meal filled with divrei Torah, songs, music, and connection to HaShem.
But this takes a lot of effort! Especially because there's such a strong yetzer hara to ignore the spiritual void and to focus on the physiciality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Saturday night is the most avera-filled evening of the week.
Wherever there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma. Interestingly enough, it doesn't work the other way. If there's a place filled with tuma - you're most likely not going to find great kedusha there.
We also see this in our parashat hashavua (2 weeks ago) with the incident of chet haegel. How could Bnei Yisrael commit just a horrendous avera? They just witnessed Har Sinai and heard HaShem speak to them! I mean, what's more holy and life-changing than that?!
It's a question that all the mefarshim deal with, and many different answers are given. The main one being that it was mainly the erev rav - 1% of the nation who committed the sin.
But still. How could the 1% commit such a grave sin?
The answer is: where there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma.
They could've waited for Moshe while learning together, davening, staying on the high and embracing the holiness that just came upon them. But that's not what happened.
A wise person never thinks he's ONLY immersed in kedusha. Don't be fooled. Be wise and always look out and be aware of the tuma. Never think that you're untouchable, and that the yetzer hara can't fool you. (But also don't think that you're doomed! Afterall, chazal (kiddushin 30b) teach us that HaShem said "barati yetzer hara, barati lo Torah tavlin" (I created the yetzer hara, but I also created the Torah as the antidote for it.)
Once you know what you're competing against, you can use the tools and strength from the yetzer hatov to win the battle and live in the life of holiness.
Mannnnn I just want to LIVEEEEE IN THE HHHHHHOLINESSSSSSSS!
Hatzlacha Rabba to all of my readers. I'll try to respond to all of the emails soon.
(Special shout out to one of my dear readers & former Garden of Emuna chavruta: your email was accidentally deleted, but I would really love to respond to it. Please e-mail me again soon!)
I hope to post soon. But I can't promise :)
Love,
Sefardi Gal
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Take a second look
I looked in the mirror.
Here I am.
A young married woman. Wearing a headscarf. Wearing a long sleeved shirt, long skirt, and socks, in the hot summer-like weather.
What do I do? I learn. I daven. I work. I do laundry. I cook. I clean.
I pictured myself...for just a split second...
not on this path. Scary thought.
Who would I be? How would I act? What would I look like?
What are most 20-something year old not-yet-religious or not Jewish gals, my age, doing at this point in life?
Learning: college. Masters. PHD. Pursuing a career.
Partying at night and wearing the latest fashions.
Food is take out or instant soup or cereal.
Laundry? HA! I have no clue how to do laundry. It gets sent out once a month or her mom just does it.
Marriage isn’t really on their mind. Having kids and raising a family definitely isn’t on the list until age 30. At least!
I know. Some of you are thinking about the exceptions to the rule – hey how about this girl I know? She’s not frum, but she’s 25 and wants to get married now.
Sorry. She’s the exception. It’s simply not the norm.
Who’s the typical young woman in secular society? Beautiful, fit, fashionable, goes to the gym, educated with at least two degrees, parties but doesn’t bring her party girl spirit to the work place, open to all experiences, all viewpoints, all people, has a liberal attitude towards life, tech-savvy, sends 200 text messages a day, and of course, has an up-to-date facebook account.
As I gazed more intently into the mirror – I found myself being so grateful to HaShem. Thank YOU HaShem for saving me…I could’ve been so lost. I grew up in that world, in that type of school, social setting, family, etc. where I could be the same age right now, but on a completely different and wrong direction in life. I could be dressing immodestly, posting my pictures on facebook – just to show everyone that I was “out”, having 1000 male friends and very few, if any, real female friends, and being completely lost and trying to fill that emptiness by partying, clubbing, drinking, doing drugs, watching movies, being tech-obsessed, reading all of the latest magazines and spending a fortune on all of the latest trends, etc.
But no. That’s not my life. Thank G-d.
All these thoughts passed through my head within seconds.
Later, I shared these thoughts with my husband and said “living that life is simply a completely different reality.”
I said that knowing that's probably what many women would think about me, as well. The "religious reality" vs. actual reality.
But who really has the REAL reality?
He then shared something that made a strong impression on me:
“Sefardi Gal, HaShem gives every individual in this world a certain amount of energy and time. Everyone is going to get tired somehow. At the end of the day, everyone has 24 hours a day. We choose how to spend it.”
That means…
Everyone has to go to work. Everyone has to get dressed. Everyone has to eat, speak, function, etc.
But HOW each individual does these seemingly mundane acts makes the difference between holiness and haughtiness. Clarity and confusion. Fulfilment and emptiness.
So, yes, everyone needs clothing. I need clothes. But what kind of clothes do I wear? Are they modest? Do I wear them just because everyone else does, or because this is truly the way I believe and know that a person is supposed to dress.
Yes, I need to speak and communicate. But what kind of words do I use? Do I speak with a harsh tone, do I go around gossiping, speaking lashon hara, cursing, insulting others, etc.? Or do I speak pleasantly, kindly, honestly, positively?
I’m not sure if I’m conveying the point well enough. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
We are allotted so many gifts in this world. We choose whether to properly use them, abuse them, or not use them at all.
A Jew should always strive to use his gifts as much as possible. To use every emotion, every body part, every status, every part of himself to serve HaShem in the best way possible. To elevate everything and everyone around him. To make mundane acts become wondrous, holy acts that lead him to be closer to HaShem yitbarach.
May we take this outlook and apply it during this incredible new year of 5773. A belated Shana Tova to all!
I will try to update this blog more often, but I must say bli neder because…well…
I’ll be busy doing laundry and cooking aka striving to upgrade the mundane to holiness :D
Shabbat Shalom!
Here I am.
A young married woman. Wearing a headscarf. Wearing a long sleeved shirt, long skirt, and socks, in the hot summer-like weather.
What do I do? I learn. I daven. I work. I do laundry. I cook. I clean.
I pictured myself...for just a split second...
not on this path. Scary thought.
Who would I be? How would I act? What would I look like?
What are most 20-something year old not-yet-religious or not Jewish gals, my age, doing at this point in life?
Learning: college. Masters. PHD. Pursuing a career.
Partying at night and wearing the latest fashions.
Food is take out or instant soup or cereal.
Laundry? HA! I have no clue how to do laundry. It gets sent out once a month or her mom just does it.
Marriage isn’t really on their mind. Having kids and raising a family definitely isn’t on the list until age 30. At least!
I know. Some of you are thinking about the exceptions to the rule – hey how about this girl I know? She’s not frum, but she’s 25 and wants to get married now.
Sorry. She’s the exception. It’s simply not the norm.
Who’s the typical young woman in secular society? Beautiful, fit, fashionable, goes to the gym, educated with at least two degrees, parties but doesn’t bring her party girl spirit to the work place, open to all experiences, all viewpoints, all people, has a liberal attitude towards life, tech-savvy, sends 200 text messages a day, and of course, has an up-to-date facebook account.
As I gazed more intently into the mirror – I found myself being so grateful to HaShem. Thank YOU HaShem for saving me…I could’ve been so lost. I grew up in that world, in that type of school, social setting, family, etc. where I could be the same age right now, but on a completely different and wrong direction in life. I could be dressing immodestly, posting my pictures on facebook – just to show everyone that I was “out”, having 1000 male friends and very few, if any, real female friends, and being completely lost and trying to fill that emptiness by partying, clubbing, drinking, doing drugs, watching movies, being tech-obsessed, reading all of the latest magazines and spending a fortune on all of the latest trends, etc.
But no. That’s not my life. Thank G-d.
All these thoughts passed through my head within seconds.
Later, I shared these thoughts with my husband and said “living that life is simply a completely different reality.”
I said that knowing that's probably what many women would think about me, as well. The "religious reality" vs. actual reality.
But who really has the REAL reality?
He then shared something that made a strong impression on me:
“Sefardi Gal, HaShem gives every individual in this world a certain amount of energy and time. Everyone is going to get tired somehow. At the end of the day, everyone has 24 hours a day. We choose how to spend it.”
That means…
Everyone has to go to work. Everyone has to get dressed. Everyone has to eat, speak, function, etc.
But HOW each individual does these seemingly mundane acts makes the difference between holiness and haughtiness. Clarity and confusion. Fulfilment and emptiness.
So, yes, everyone needs clothing. I need clothes. But what kind of clothes do I wear? Are they modest? Do I wear them just because everyone else does, or because this is truly the way I believe and know that a person is supposed to dress.
Yes, I need to speak and communicate. But what kind of words do I use? Do I speak with a harsh tone, do I go around gossiping, speaking lashon hara, cursing, insulting others, etc.? Or do I speak pleasantly, kindly, honestly, positively?
I’m not sure if I’m conveying the point well enough. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
We are allotted so many gifts in this world. We choose whether to properly use them, abuse them, or not use them at all.
A Jew should always strive to use his gifts as much as possible. To use every emotion, every body part, every status, every part of himself to serve HaShem in the best way possible. To elevate everything and everyone around him. To make mundane acts become wondrous, holy acts that lead him to be closer to HaShem yitbarach.
May we take this outlook and apply it during this incredible new year of 5773. A belated Shana Tova to all!
I will try to update this blog more often, but I must say bli neder because…well…
I’ll be busy doing laundry and cooking aka striving to upgrade the mundane to holiness :D
Shabbat Shalom!
Friday, June 29, 2012
Holy Cow!!!
These awesome words of Torah are mostly from Rabbi Wagensberg.
The seemingly paradoxical nature of the mitzvah of Parah Adumah (red heifer) makes it particularly troublesome. The ashes of the parah adumah were used to purify people who became tameh by coming into contact with a dead body, yet the Cohanim, who prepared the purifying ashes became impure in the process!
What many people don't know, though, is that the Cohen became impure for only ONE day while, with the ashes of the parah adumah, he could made MILLIONs of tameh people to be pure FOREVER.
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.
What a lesson.
Temporary impurity can lead to millions of people becoming pure and staying pure FOREVER.
We must realize that our power to fix things is exponentially greater than our ability to destroy them. One tiny spark of light can dispel vast amounts of darkness because the powers of positive energy in this world are far more potent than the powers of negative energy!
It's never easy to be the first one to do the right move. And sometimes (more often than not - due to our friend and foe, the yetzer hara) the right move even feels like the WRONG move. But when you finally do that right move - it can influence the WHOLE world. Thousands are you. That one moment or that relatively temporary discomfort for you can lead to so, so, so many people growing because of it.
For example, it's never easy to be the first one in a less religious group to become MORE religious or observant. Say, for a example, a bunch of girls who don't dress modestly, or even those who dress somewhat modestly and then suddenly, one decides that she wants to become MORE modest. She decides: you know what? I'm going to wear longer skirts. I'm going to wear looser shirts. I'm going to wear stockings. I'm going to wear darker stockings since clear, nude colored stockings aren't modest according to most opinions that require women to cover their calves. I'm going to wear a mitpachat even though most people wear wigs.
Do her friends, her family, envrionment, etc. ALLOW her to make this decision easily?? Does she feel good RIGHT after she makes the change? Most likely NOT! Yetzer hara will make her feel guilt. Impurity. Difficulty.
Or take a guy, who decides - I'm not going to clubs anymore. I'm not going to hang out with those guys anymore. I'm not going to sleep late anymore and miss minyan. I'm not going to go to movies anymore. (The list is endless!)
Will his friends ALLOW him to make this decision easily? Does he feel good RIGHT after he makes the change? Surprise surprise most likely NOT!!! Yetzer hara will do everything in his power to make him feel impure, guilty, and not worthy.
But every single person who is doing the right thing.... NO EXCEPTIONS... will find that if he or she perserves and continue doing that mitzvah then NOT ONLY will everyone around him or her ACCEPT him but they will ALSO emulate him! Just by that one choice to improve, then in a lifetime, you can influence thousands, even millions, without even realizing!
Never give in just because it's difficult. You will receive tremendous benefit. Spiritual AND physical both in this world and in the next world. It just USUALLY WON'T BE IMMEDIATE!
Amazing, right?! The Cohen becomes "impure" by doing the right thing but helps thousands in the process. And then, of course, he becomes even more pure the next day. Why? Because he did the right thing. Yes, it wasn't easy to become impure. But it was worth it in the long run. He helped himself, by doing Avodat HaShem, as well as helping Klal Yisrael.
To finish off, I'll share a personal story with you. As I've mentioned before, I don't wear any wigs, baruch HaShem. Even though I was sure, for many years, that I wouldn't wear a wig, AND I knew exactly WHY I'm NOT wearing a wig, and I strongly believe in it, I still struggled with it. Afterall, I was used to donning my hair for 20+ years. I was used to that look, that confidence, etc. Baruch HaShem, it got easier and easier with every day.
When I started working, I was unsure how my haircoverings would be received. To be completely honest, I didn't really care or think about Granted, I worked in a Jewish environment, but
a) not everyone there covered their hair
b) almost everyone there who DID cover their hair wore wigs. And these were not women who were wearing plain wigs. They were wearing fancy, lavish, long, & styled wigs.
within a week, I was SHOCKED. At least 5 women came up to me - JUST in the first week - to ask me either...
a) how I have the koach to cover my hair so properly and beautifully
b) where I buy my scarves
c) where THEY can buy the same scarves
d) how THEY can cover their hair like mine
I was truly taken by surprise. I'm only here for one week and this is the impression I've made?
So without ANY gaavah I'm telling you - YES! Whenever a Jew is doing the RIGHT thing and KEEPING the Torah, then (s)he influences those around him or her. No doubt about it.
Yes, more often than not, it's not easy doing the right thing. Torah is not easy.
But who said it's meant to be easy? Who said anything worthwhile in this life is easy?
Anyone remember my favorite quote??
"The purpose of life is not to be comfortable. The Almighty did not put us in this world so that we can cruise through with all the comforts of life, no pain, no challenges, and then to die peacefully under a beach umbrella with a pina colada in hand. The Almighty placed us in this world to face challenges, to perfect our character and to grow spiritually. That is why life is filled with challenges. It is our choice whether to view our challenges as obstacles or stepping stones."
-Rabbi Kalman Packouz
May HaShem help us all to be on the right path and stay strong and influence others
in the process!
Now I'm off to make a banana chocolate chip cake. Hopefully it will inspire the humans around it to eat it. :D
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevorach! :)
The seemingly paradoxical nature of the mitzvah of Parah Adumah (red heifer) makes it particularly troublesome. The ashes of the parah adumah were used to purify people who became tameh by coming into contact with a dead body, yet the Cohanim, who prepared the purifying ashes became impure in the process!
What many people don't know, though, is that the Cohen became impure for only ONE day while, with the ashes of the parah adumah, he could made MILLIONs of tameh people to be pure FOREVER.
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.
What a lesson.
Temporary impurity can lead to millions of people becoming pure and staying pure FOREVER.
We must realize that our power to fix things is exponentially greater than our ability to destroy them. One tiny spark of light can dispel vast amounts of darkness because the powers of positive energy in this world are far more potent than the powers of negative energy!
It's never easy to be the first one to do the right move. And sometimes (more often than not - due to our friend and foe, the yetzer hara) the right move even feels like the WRONG move. But when you finally do that right move - it can influence the WHOLE world. Thousands are you. That one moment or that relatively temporary discomfort for you can lead to so, so, so many people growing because of it.
For example, it's never easy to be the first one in a less religious group to become MORE religious or observant. Say, for a example, a bunch of girls who don't dress modestly, or even those who dress somewhat modestly and then suddenly, one decides that she wants to become MORE modest. She decides: you know what? I'm going to wear longer skirts. I'm going to wear looser shirts. I'm going to wear stockings. I'm going to wear darker stockings since clear, nude colored stockings aren't modest according to most opinions that require women to cover their calves. I'm going to wear a mitpachat even though most people wear wigs.
Do her friends, her family, envrionment, etc. ALLOW her to make this decision easily?? Does she feel good RIGHT after she makes the change? Most likely NOT! Yetzer hara will make her feel guilt. Impurity. Difficulty.
Or take a guy, who decides - I'm not going to clubs anymore. I'm not going to hang out with those guys anymore. I'm not going to sleep late anymore and miss minyan. I'm not going to go to movies anymore. (The list is endless!)
Will his friends ALLOW him to make this decision easily? Does he feel good RIGHT after he makes the change? Surprise surprise most likely NOT!!! Yetzer hara will do everything in his power to make him feel impure, guilty, and not worthy.
But every single person who is doing the right thing.... NO EXCEPTIONS... will find that if he or she perserves and continue doing that mitzvah then NOT ONLY will everyone around him or her ACCEPT him but they will ALSO emulate him! Just by that one choice to improve, then in a lifetime, you can influence thousands, even millions, without even realizing!
Never give in just because it's difficult. You will receive tremendous benefit. Spiritual AND physical both in this world and in the next world. It just USUALLY WON'T BE IMMEDIATE!
Amazing, right?! The Cohen becomes "impure" by doing the right thing but helps thousands in the process. And then, of course, he becomes even more pure the next day. Why? Because he did the right thing. Yes, it wasn't easy to become impure. But it was worth it in the long run. He helped himself, by doing Avodat HaShem, as well as helping Klal Yisrael.
To finish off, I'll share a personal story with you. As I've mentioned before, I don't wear any wigs, baruch HaShem. Even though I was sure, for many years, that I wouldn't wear a wig, AND I knew exactly WHY I'm NOT wearing a wig, and I strongly believe in it, I still struggled with it. Afterall, I was used to donning my hair for 20+ years. I was used to that look, that confidence, etc. Baruch HaShem, it got easier and easier with every day.
When I started working, I was unsure how my haircoverings would be received. To be completely honest, I didn't really care or think about Granted, I worked in a Jewish environment, but
a) not everyone there covered their hair
b) almost everyone there who DID cover their hair wore wigs. And these were not women who were wearing plain wigs. They were wearing fancy, lavish, long, & styled wigs.
within a week, I was SHOCKED. At least 5 women came up to me - JUST in the first week - to ask me either...
a) how I have the koach to cover my hair so properly and beautifully
b) where I buy my scarves
c) where THEY can buy the same scarves
d) how THEY can cover their hair like mine
I was truly taken by surprise. I'm only here for one week and this is the impression I've made?
So without ANY gaavah I'm telling you - YES! Whenever a Jew is doing the RIGHT thing and KEEPING the Torah, then (s)he influences those around him or her. No doubt about it.
Yes, more often than not, it's not easy doing the right thing. Torah is not easy.
But who said it's meant to be easy? Who said anything worthwhile in this life is easy?
Anyone remember my favorite quote??
"The purpose of life is not to be comfortable. The Almighty did not put us in this world so that we can cruise through with all the comforts of life, no pain, no challenges, and then to die peacefully under a beach umbrella with a pina colada in hand. The Almighty placed us in this world to face challenges, to perfect our character and to grow spiritually. That is why life is filled with challenges. It is our choice whether to view our challenges as obstacles or stepping stones."
-Rabbi Kalman Packouz
May HaShem help us all to be on the right path and stay strong and influence others
in the process!
Now I'm off to make a banana chocolate chip cake. Hopefully it will inspire the humans around it to eat it. :D
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevorach! :)
Thursday, June 28, 2012
The Roads We Pave
Ever wonder why we have lines on the palm of our hands? How come animals don't have lines on their paws?
Whatever is in the physical world mirrors what's in the spiritual world. It's to teach us that our neshama also has "lines" on it.
What're these neshama lines?
These neshama lines are our all of our mitzvot (good deeds) and averot (sins). Each time someone does a mitzvah, (s)he creates a positive line on his/her neshama.
That line is called a neshama ROAD.
For example, a person who lit Shabbat candles even once, opened up a road of the mitzvah of Shabbat candles.
A person who, c"vs, does an avera, even ONCE - opens up a road of that particular avera.
Once the road is open, it's extremely difficult to erase it. You can close it by never going through that road again, but that still won't ERASE the road. Only TRUE remorse and repentenance out of love will ERASE that road forever.
That's why - when people say "what's the big deal? I'm just smoking weed ONCE." "What's the big deal? I'm just going to wear this short skirt ONCE." "What's the big deal? I'm just going to miss praying mincha this ONCE." -- not only did that person MISS the opportunity to do a mitzvah AND did an avera, but also this person opened a ROAD of that particular avera. Don't even THINK about doing the avera even once. Because your first time can become a lifetime.
Rabbi Wallerstein explains that that is the reason so many people who were once an alcoholic - are ALWAYS alcoholics and end up going back to AA so many times. They have all of these roads of alcohol and excessive drinking opened in the neshama. Only the few who work very hard at overcoming their passion and lust for drinking and truly truly regret what they did and REPENT are the ones who never go back. The second they take EVEN one drink again - that's it. They're back to be alcoholics.
Once you have so many roads open, it's very easy to get lost on your destination of life. Your destination to Olam Haba. The real world. Afterall, as Pirkei Avot and Mesillat Yesharim so beautifully informs us - this world is just a "posdor" - an enterance to the main ballroom which is Olam Haba.
Oyyyyyy how many roads of averot we all must have.
The good news is: we also have roads of mitzvot. And if we truly regret the roads of averot that we created, then we can completely erase those roads and ONLY have roads of mitzvot.
The Jewish Nation needs to WAKE UP!!!! We live in a world of ACTIONS and CONSEQUENCES. We need to take responsibility for our actions and KNOW the consequences. We are creating so many roads... so so so so many. Countless every day. There is NOWHERE that the body goes WITHOUT the neshama until our last day in this world. Our neshama experiences EVERYTHING that the body does - be it the good or the bad.
HaShem wants every single Jew act holy, because every Jew IS holy, and HaShem wants us all to be close to Him. Our Yetzer Hatov is begging us - keep your neshama ALIVE, and our Yetzer Hara is begging us, BURNING us, please destroy your neshama. Make it as dirty as possible. Open as many terrible, bumpy, dangerous roads as possible.
It's a war.
Expect, unlike a physical war between two nations -- this war requires only our decision. Do I want to be good or bad? Do I think that I'm a neshama or a body? Am I an animal or spiritual being?
The choice is OURS.
Will we let our neshama create positive, sturdy, clean paved roads of mitzvot, or will we let our neshama create negative, dark, dirty, bumpy roads of averot?
It's up to us.
May HaShem give us all Siyata D'Shamaya to successfully fight this battle and only create roads that will take us in a positive direction & closer to the Shechina!
Whatever is in the physical world mirrors what's in the spiritual world. It's to teach us that our neshama also has "lines" on it.
What're these neshama lines?
These neshama lines are our all of our mitzvot (good deeds) and averot (sins). Each time someone does a mitzvah, (s)he creates a positive line on his/her neshama.
That line is called a neshama ROAD.
For example, a person who lit Shabbat candles even once, opened up a road of the mitzvah of Shabbat candles.
A person who, c"vs, does an avera, even ONCE - opens up a road of that particular avera.
Once the road is open, it's extremely difficult to erase it. You can close it by never going through that road again, but that still won't ERASE the road. Only TRUE remorse and repentenance out of love will ERASE that road forever.
That's why - when people say "what's the big deal? I'm just smoking weed ONCE." "What's the big deal? I'm just going to wear this short skirt ONCE." "What's the big deal? I'm just going to miss praying mincha this ONCE." -- not only did that person MISS the opportunity to do a mitzvah AND did an avera, but also this person opened a ROAD of that particular avera. Don't even THINK about doing the avera even once. Because your first time can become a lifetime.
Rabbi Wallerstein explains that that is the reason so many people who were once an alcoholic - are ALWAYS alcoholics and end up going back to AA so many times. They have all of these roads of alcohol and excessive drinking opened in the neshama. Only the few who work very hard at overcoming their passion and lust for drinking and truly truly regret what they did and REPENT are the ones who never go back. The second they take EVEN one drink again - that's it. They're back to be alcoholics.
Once you have so many roads open, it's very easy to get lost on your destination of life. Your destination to Olam Haba. The real world. Afterall, as Pirkei Avot and Mesillat Yesharim so beautifully informs us - this world is just a "posdor" - an enterance to the main ballroom which is Olam Haba.
Oyyyyyy how many roads of averot we all must have.
The good news is: we also have roads of mitzvot. And if we truly regret the roads of averot that we created, then we can completely erase those roads and ONLY have roads of mitzvot.
The Jewish Nation needs to WAKE UP!!!! We live in a world of ACTIONS and CONSEQUENCES. We need to take responsibility for our actions and KNOW the consequences. We are creating so many roads... so so so so many. Countless every day. There is NOWHERE that the body goes WITHOUT the neshama until our last day in this world. Our neshama experiences EVERYTHING that the body does - be it the good or the bad.
HaShem wants every single Jew act holy, because every Jew IS holy, and HaShem wants us all to be close to Him. Our Yetzer Hatov is begging us - keep your neshama ALIVE, and our Yetzer Hara is begging us, BURNING us, please destroy your neshama. Make it as dirty as possible. Open as many terrible, bumpy, dangerous roads as possible.
It's a war.
Expect, unlike a physical war between two nations -- this war requires only our decision. Do I want to be good or bad? Do I think that I'm a neshama or a body? Am I an animal or spiritual being?
The choice is OURS.
Will we let our neshama create positive, sturdy, clean paved roads of mitzvot, or will we let our neshama create negative, dark, dirty, bumpy roads of averot?
It's up to us.
May HaShem give us all Siyata D'Shamaya to successfully fight this battle and only create roads that will take us in a positive direction & closer to the Shechina!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Blast from the Past
I miss blogging. I truly do.
But I've been lazy. Super lazy.
You see, Sefardi Gal became Morah Sefardi Gal. Being a Morah truly has been rewarding and enjoyable but also tiring and frustrating. A teacher needs a lot of Siyata D'Shamaya to teach well and have enough patience for each individual student. I can't say I've been perfect at it, but it has been a good journey so far.
And alas...summer vacation has begun. Now we have a lot of packing to do :)
Bli neder, Im Yirtzeh HaShem, Be'ezrat HaShem, with G-d's help...I will start posting Divrei Torah at least once a week. HaShem knows I need the Chizzuk!
Wishing all of you a shavua tov and countless brachot!
But I've been lazy. Super lazy.
You see, Sefardi Gal became Morah Sefardi Gal. Being a Morah truly has been rewarding and enjoyable but also tiring and frustrating. A teacher needs a lot of Siyata D'Shamaya to teach well and have enough patience for each individual student. I can't say I've been perfect at it, but it has been a good journey so far.
And alas...summer vacation has begun. Now we have a lot of packing to do :)
Bli neder, Im Yirtzeh HaShem, Be'ezrat HaShem, with G-d's help...I will start posting Divrei Torah at least once a week. HaShem knows I need the Chizzuk!
Wishing all of you a shavua tov and countless brachot!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Two paths. ONLY.
Shavuot is my favorite chag for many reasons. Among the top reasons:
1. The "symbol" or "prop" of this Chag is the Torah. Matan Torah...the basis of our lives and purpose in this world. What else could be a greater celebration?
2. Sivan is my favorite month. My birthday is also in Sivan :D
3. Cheesecake. YUM!
Personal favoritism aside, there are countless lessons to learn from this holy time period.
For now, we'll focus on just one, out of the many, in this post. This lesson is taken from a wonderful shiur by Rabbi Wallerstein.
Why do we read Megillat Rut on Shavuot? We're celebrating the fact that we received the Torah. Why are we reading about a righteous convert to Judaism?
One of the "basic" reasons that Megillat Rut is read on Shavuot because David HaMelech came from Rut, and David Hamelech was born on Shavuot and passed away on Shavuot. However, there are much deeper reasons for reading this holy Megillah.
Among them are:
-Mashiach comes from David Hamelech, and one of our goals is to bring Mashiach.
-After Rut converted, a letter "hey" - symbolizing HaShem's Name, and therefore, holiness, was added to her name. Rut + hey = Torah.
-Rut has the gematria of 606, symbolizing that she kept the 7 noahide mitzvot before she was Jewish, and therefore, was a righteous gentile. After she converted, she had to add 606 mitzvot, rsther than 613.
-Rut shows us the loyalty that we should have for HaShem, Torah, Mitzvot, and Am Yisrael - through thick and thin. No matter what.
-Rut teaches us that a person can do teshuva, regardless of what type of background they're coming from!
All of these lessons are wonderful.
I'd like to focus on one that many people might know but not internalize the importance of it: Megillat Rut teaches us the importance of making decisions. How ONE decision can change our lives completely - for the better, or for the worse. For life or for death. For victory or for defeat. For closeness to HaShem or, chas v'shalom, richuk - disconnection/feeling far - from HaShem.
Rut and Orpah were both non-Jewish women who were married to Naomi's two sons, who both died.
Now, Naomi, the Jewess, and Rut and Orpah, two goyish widowers were left alone.
Rut and Orpah could've:
1. Leave Naomi and stay together
2. Part ways completely
3. Both go away with Naomi
4. Individually take two separate directions. One making the wrong decision, and one making the right decision.
They were both coming from the same exact place. Both non-Jewish, princesses of moav, both widowers, both alone with their mother-in-law. However, ONE decision make the difference between victory and defeat.
What decision was that?
Naomi was leaving to Eretz Yisrael. She had to leave the mental state that she was in. Naomi told Rut and Orpah - I'm leaving. I have nothing here. Go home. Go back to your parents.
What did Rut and Orpah do?
Orpah kissed Naomi, and she left.
Rut did the complete opposite. She didn't LEAVE her mother in law. She said your nation is my nation, your G-d is my G-d; I'm sticking with you. I'm NOT leaving you!
There's a Midrash that tells us that Orpah was with A THOUSAND men AND a dog that night. HaShem Yerachem! She fell so low! She went from being so close to leaving with her mother-in-law to Eretz Yisrael, and she fell to the lowest level that a person can be. She became pregnant that night, and we learn that she had a child: goliat. Goliat was a giant who attacked Klal Yisrael, and he made fun of G-d in public.
His nemesis, the only one who would stand up to him - was David Hamelech, who came from the righteous Rut.
So, we learn, from the one decision of whether to go with Naomi or not - two children were conceived:
one, Goliat, an evil plishti giant. A rasha who is remembered and recorded as such even now - thousands of years later.
And a second - David Hamelech. The king of Israel. A tzadik. The father of Mashiach!
From this ONE step away from her mother in law, and therefore, Judaism, Orpah caused destruction. From Rut's ONE step closer to her mother in law, and therefore, Judaism, she caused victory and geula (redemption).
Yetzer Hara tells us it's just a little bit. Just miss minyan this once. Just wear a shorter skirt this once. Just eat this non-kosher food this once. Just speak this one word of lashon hara.
NO! That one time is DESTRUCTION. That one time then psychologically causes validity. That one time can completely make a person fall and make it extremely difficult to be on the derech again.
As Jews, as HaShem's children, we must ALWAYS think about every move we make. Every word that comes out of our mouthes, every piece of food that enters our mouthes, every sound that enters our ears, every image our eyes seen.
NOTHING is just neutral.
The Tanya explains beautifully that everything in this world can be categorized into just TWO categories:
Sitra D'achra and Sitra D'Kedusha.
Sitra d'achra is anything that leads you to feel FARTHER away from HaShem. It can be something small. Even a song.
Sitra d'kedusha is anything that leads us to be closer to holiness, and therefore, closer to HaShem.
There is NOTHING that is just neutral. A Jew's mission in this world is not to be neutral and just chill all day.
Every day our goal should be to grow closer and closer to HaShem.
The Asher Yatzar of today should not be the same Asher Yatzar of 5 years ago. Just like when we're friends with someone for longer, we feel like we know them way better, so too - with HaKadosh Baruch Hu!
It's a relationship that requires wise decision and planning.
Where's our manual, or directory, about what leads to closeness to HaShem and what leads to richuk?
The Torah. Our minds. Our feelings. (In that order.)
Melech, a king, has the letters of Mem, Lamed, and Chaf. Kelev, a dog, has those same letters rearranged. Kaf, Lamed, Mem.
The Mem stands for Moach (mind/brain: logic)
The Lamed stands for Lev (heart: emotions)
The Chaf stands for Klayot (liver: desires)
When one allows his logic to control his emotions and then his logic + emotions to control his desires - then he is a MELECH, a king, over himself.
BUT
if someone allows his desires to control his emotions, and his emotions to control his logic - then he is no better than a DOG, who clearly can't control his desires.
THAT is the importance of Megillat Rut. A decision made in a split second has such power. Ohhhh if we'd only realize our potential. Our power!
The power of words, the power of a smile, the power of keeping the mitzvot, and the power of our averot!
It is written that if a man REALLY knew how terrible an avera was - he would NEVER dare to do it. That's why chazal tell us a "ruach shtut" (a foolish spirit) comes upon a person who wants to do an avera. There's no way that someone who acts like a melech can allow himself to do an avera.
Always ask yourself - is what I'm doing going to help me grow closer or farther from my Father in Heaven?
May HaShem bless all of us to have clarity and make the proper decisions in the proper fashion, and therefore, be kings over our desires, and may we all merit to be close to Him!
1. The "symbol" or "prop" of this Chag is the Torah. Matan Torah...the basis of our lives and purpose in this world. What else could be a greater celebration?
2. Sivan is my favorite month. My birthday is also in Sivan :D
3. Cheesecake. YUM!
Personal favoritism aside, there are countless lessons to learn from this holy time period.
For now, we'll focus on just one, out of the many, in this post. This lesson is taken from a wonderful shiur by Rabbi Wallerstein.
Why do we read Megillat Rut on Shavuot? We're celebrating the fact that we received the Torah. Why are we reading about a righteous convert to Judaism?
One of the "basic" reasons that Megillat Rut is read on Shavuot because David HaMelech came from Rut, and David Hamelech was born on Shavuot and passed away on Shavuot. However, there are much deeper reasons for reading this holy Megillah.
Among them are:
-Mashiach comes from David Hamelech, and one of our goals is to bring Mashiach.
-After Rut converted, a letter "hey" - symbolizing HaShem's Name, and therefore, holiness, was added to her name. Rut + hey = Torah.
-Rut has the gematria of 606, symbolizing that she kept the 7 noahide mitzvot before she was Jewish, and therefore, was a righteous gentile. After she converted, she had to add 606 mitzvot, rsther than 613.
-Rut shows us the loyalty that we should have for HaShem, Torah, Mitzvot, and Am Yisrael - through thick and thin. No matter what.
-Rut teaches us that a person can do teshuva, regardless of what type of background they're coming from!
All of these lessons are wonderful.
I'd like to focus on one that many people might know but not internalize the importance of it: Megillat Rut teaches us the importance of making decisions. How ONE decision can change our lives completely - for the better, or for the worse. For life or for death. For victory or for defeat. For closeness to HaShem or, chas v'shalom, richuk - disconnection/feeling far - from HaShem.
Rut and Orpah were both non-Jewish women who were married to Naomi's two sons, who both died.
Now, Naomi, the Jewess, and Rut and Orpah, two goyish widowers were left alone.
Rut and Orpah could've:
1. Leave Naomi and stay together
2. Part ways completely
3. Both go away with Naomi
4. Individually take two separate directions. One making the wrong decision, and one making the right decision.
They were both coming from the same exact place. Both non-Jewish, princesses of moav, both widowers, both alone with their mother-in-law. However, ONE decision make the difference between victory and defeat.
What decision was that?
Naomi was leaving to Eretz Yisrael. She had to leave the mental state that she was in. Naomi told Rut and Orpah - I'm leaving. I have nothing here. Go home. Go back to your parents.
What did Rut and Orpah do?
Orpah kissed Naomi, and she left.
Rut did the complete opposite. She didn't LEAVE her mother in law. She said your nation is my nation, your G-d is my G-d; I'm sticking with you. I'm NOT leaving you!
There's a Midrash that tells us that Orpah was with A THOUSAND men AND a dog that night. HaShem Yerachem! She fell so low! She went from being so close to leaving with her mother-in-law to Eretz Yisrael, and she fell to the lowest level that a person can be. She became pregnant that night, and we learn that she had a child: goliat. Goliat was a giant who attacked Klal Yisrael, and he made fun of G-d in public.
His nemesis, the only one who would stand up to him - was David Hamelech, who came from the righteous Rut.
So, we learn, from the one decision of whether to go with Naomi or not - two children were conceived:
one, Goliat, an evil plishti giant. A rasha who is remembered and recorded as such even now - thousands of years later.
And a second - David Hamelech. The king of Israel. A tzadik. The father of Mashiach!
From this ONE step away from her mother in law, and therefore, Judaism, Orpah caused destruction. From Rut's ONE step closer to her mother in law, and therefore, Judaism, she caused victory and geula (redemption).
Yetzer Hara tells us it's just a little bit. Just miss minyan this once. Just wear a shorter skirt this once. Just eat this non-kosher food this once. Just speak this one word of lashon hara.
NO! That one time is DESTRUCTION. That one time then psychologically causes validity. That one time can completely make a person fall and make it extremely difficult to be on the derech again.
As Jews, as HaShem's children, we must ALWAYS think about every move we make. Every word that comes out of our mouthes, every piece of food that enters our mouthes, every sound that enters our ears, every image our eyes seen.
NOTHING is just neutral.
The Tanya explains beautifully that everything in this world can be categorized into just TWO categories:
Sitra D'achra and Sitra D'Kedusha.
Sitra d'achra is anything that leads you to feel FARTHER away from HaShem. It can be something small. Even a song.
Sitra d'kedusha is anything that leads us to be closer to holiness, and therefore, closer to HaShem.
There is NOTHING that is just neutral. A Jew's mission in this world is not to be neutral and just chill all day.
Every day our goal should be to grow closer and closer to HaShem.
The Asher Yatzar of today should not be the same Asher Yatzar of 5 years ago. Just like when we're friends with someone for longer, we feel like we know them way better, so too - with HaKadosh Baruch Hu!
It's a relationship that requires wise decision and planning.
Where's our manual, or directory, about what leads to closeness to HaShem and what leads to richuk?
The Torah. Our minds. Our feelings. (In that order.)
Melech, a king, has the letters of Mem, Lamed, and Chaf. Kelev, a dog, has those same letters rearranged. Kaf, Lamed, Mem.
The Mem stands for Moach (mind/brain: logic)
The Lamed stands for Lev (heart: emotions)
The Chaf stands for Klayot (liver: desires)
When one allows his logic to control his emotions and then his logic + emotions to control his desires - then he is a MELECH, a king, over himself.
BUT
if someone allows his desires to control his emotions, and his emotions to control his logic - then he is no better than a DOG, who clearly can't control his desires.
THAT is the importance of Megillat Rut. A decision made in a split second has such power. Ohhhh if we'd only realize our potential. Our power!
The power of words, the power of a smile, the power of keeping the mitzvot, and the power of our averot!
It is written that if a man REALLY knew how terrible an avera was - he would NEVER dare to do it. That's why chazal tell us a "ruach shtut" (a foolish spirit) comes upon a person who wants to do an avera. There's no way that someone who acts like a melech can allow himself to do an avera.
Always ask yourself - is what I'm doing going to help me grow closer or farther from my Father in Heaven?
May HaShem bless all of us to have clarity and make the proper decisions in the proper fashion, and therefore, be kings over our desires, and may we all merit to be close to Him!
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