Tuesday, December 27, 2011

It was a beautiful sunny afternoon. I watched couples walking down the street, some holding hands, others holding ice cream, or better yet – a baby, and many just blissfully walking a few inches apart, looking oh so comfy-happy in couple land.
After my date from the night before that wasn’t disastrous but was clearly not turning into a second date, I wondered – is that ever going to be me and my husband?
That week, another guy was suggested to me. He sounded fine, so I said yes. Again, a date that wasn’t bad, but clearly not shayach. The only thing I wanted to do was have a very long conversation with HaShem.
“HaShem, I can’t do this anymore. If I’m not ready to get married, then I don’t want to date anymore. I can’t handle it emotionally. I just can’t. Please help me.”
I felt so broken. So lonely. So fed up. So hurt.
Is this ever going to end?

Yet another guy was suggested to me. He called to set up plans for a date, except guess what? Surprise surprise he was out of the country for another 3 weeks.
After our conversation, he asked “can I call you next week?”
“how about you just call me when you land back here?” I said, while thinking – "yeah. RIGHT. Like he’s actually going to call when he gets here."
Well, he called.
And now, baruch HaShem, we’re married.


My advice to all of my dear readers who are still single – never give up. If it can happen to me, it can definitely happen to you. Keep davening. HaShem hears every single tefillah, and there IS a reason that you didn’t meet your zivug yet. You’ll see why only AFTER you meet him or her, and the reason is that either one or both of you was not ready even a day beforehand.
There’s not an ounce of cruelty within HaShem. Everything that happens in life – it’s ALL out of chessed.

Is it instantaneous that you’ll know (s)he’s the right one? Most likely not. Save that for the movies and few select couples.

I want to thank everyone so much for giving me chizzuk. B”H may all of the singles find their zivugim asap – as soon as the right time is possible, and may all of the married couples have shalom bayit!

As far as blogging goes...
I'm not sure if I'll continue posting or not.
As I mentioned in my first post, way back when, this blog is a journey. :)

23 comments:

  1. I am so happy for you! I wish you all joy and happiness, and hope you will still blog from time to time; we've missed you!

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  2. :) "Hey what's up guys? What's new with me? Oh btw I got married!" I like your style :)

    Mazal tov. May you know only happiness and harmony.

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  3. I was getting worried when you did not post for so long. It is good to know that your life has become better, not worse.

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  4. מזל טוב! תזכו לבנות בית נאמן בישראל לשם ולתפארת

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  5. Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer, chapter 12:

    If they [husband and wife] walk in My ways and carefully obey My commandments, then behold My Name is between them and will save them from all trouble.

    *********************************************

    Want quick Torah quotes for your Shabbat table?
    Or for love of Torah any time?
    Go to:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DerechEmet/

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  6. Mazel Tov! May you be happy forever.

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  7. Mazel tov!! What a great surprise :) Thanks for all the chizuk you've given us along your journey.

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  8. Mazal Tov, I'm so happy for you. I wish both of you success and best of luck.

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  9. Mazel Tov! Love the "oh, btw, I got married" style :)

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  10. Mazel Tov!!! :) So happy to the good news, thanks for coming back to share it with us!
    PS I hope you keep blogging!

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  11. SefardiGal, there is something that I feel obligated to say to you.

    I know that your standards of Torah and righteousness and midot tobot are very high. That is good, but is also establishes the potential for certain problems.

    You must remember that even the best men commit sins and have flawed midot, and are not always as considerate as they should be, nor are they as helpful as they could be.

    During your first year of marriage, as you discover each other’s flaws, remember this:

    DON’T GO CRAZY when your husband does something that disappoints you, because ** ALL ** husbands do things that disappoint their wives, even the best men.

    Always focus on the positive aspects of your husband. Appreciate even his small good points, and look away from the bad. This way, you will both enjoy many decades of successful marriage :-)

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  12. OMG!!! B'H!!! I Davened for you after reading a post were you sounded so sad , when lighting I would say Hashem remember that girl from the blog LOL. Mazal Tov !!!! May you be blessed in your marriage. Blessed be Hashem who hears prayers!!!

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  13. Mazal Tov!!!

    Loved the way you informed us of your amazing news!

    As so many of us have been sharing your pain for so long, thank you for including us in your simcha. I'm sure you know that we would all love to hear your advice on marriage and share with us your own, continued good news, but regardless of what becomes of this blog, all the best.

    May you and your husband be zocheh to build a bayis ne'eman b'yisrael and live ad meah v'esrim shana bringing one another only happiness and joy. :)

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  14. Wow, I totally relate to your sentiments and cries! Thanks for posting, and please consider these related thoughts and sentiments - hatzlacha and shalom...

    http://beyondthefaceoffacebook.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/dear-chronic-daters/

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  15. Thank you for the all the heart-touching comments and mazal tovs!
    I definitely know bloggers were davening for me :)

    B"H, bli neder, im Yirtzeh HaShem, please G-d, at the right time, soon by blogger, a post about marriage will follow.

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  16. I'm glad you got what you sought.

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    Replies
    1. Very nice update, btw love the Charlotte Bronte reference ("Dear Reader, I married him!)--mazel tov and best wishes!

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