I hate facebook.
For many, many reasons. That's probably a topic for a different blog post, though.
But the main reason I hate it is for it's fakeness.
So many people are miserable and yet trying to prove to the world (aka all of their facebook "friends") that life is just awesome and perfect. See my carribean hotel with the pool in front? (never mind that I was bored most of the time and got into a fight with my friend that night) See my night out with my super handsome hubby? (never mind that he was drunk the whole night)
I couldn't bear a day with facebook because I would be saddened. Saddened by how many people just allow life to pass by. Hours and hours to be wasted.
When the Torah wants to wish somebody a long life, the bracha is "arichut YAMIM" and not "arichut SHANIM". Why's that? Why wish a person many days instead of many years?
Because a Jew needs to make each DAY count. Not every year. Each day needs to be as fulfilling as possible. A person needs to aim to reach his inner core and most deep potential every single day. We need to strive to grow closer to HaShem with each and every moment and day that we live and breathe.
The answer is so powerful. And so scary. Because it means that there are so many people who live long lives and many years but haven't really lived a day in their life.
Why does HaShem bless us that we're able to wake up in the morning and have the ability to breathe, see, speak, taste, smell, hear, and understand?
So that we will use these G-d blessed "instincts" for avodat HaShem. Not for anything else. Just for closeness to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Now, all of this sounds nice in theory. But practically, it is very, very difficult.
And I think it's difficult because the yetzer hara knows how to get our priorities mixed up.
For example, I'm a work at home wife & mother to 2 kids (yes I gave birth to a second holy beautiful neshama BH!) I have friends who are at the "same point" in life - either stay at home moms with 1+ kids or they work outside and send their kids to daycare, but either way, many of my friends complain how rote their day is, and how meaningless and boring they're finding married life w/ kids to be. I hear things along the lines of "wow. Life is so mundane. I wake up, need to change diapers, feed the kids, drop them off at daycare or take care of them throughout the day, come home, do laundry, cook dinner, and sleep. I have no time for shiurim. I have no time to open a sefer. I'm just always tired!"
Suddenly, marriage isn't such a dream anymore. There are no lavish vacations. Eating out often may not be an option. Finances are tough. The scale's number are getting higher and clothes don't fit as right. (That's part of the joy of motherhood! :))
It's easy for a woman to feel worn out from all of this.
But NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ladies, if a woman feel that way, her priorities are OFF!
The Arizal teaches us that women come into this world perfect. We are here to take care of our husbands & encourage their limud Torah and to raise tzadikim and tzadikot children who will light up the world.
THAT'S IT!! (okay, we also need to do avodat hamiddot, keep mitzvoth, and be modest...)
But that is our ikkar.
Sounds like fluff? It's not.
Chazal teach us in Gemara Brachot 17a - "nashim b'mayi zachyan" -- what mitzvah does a woman do that earns her olam haba? (Afterall, a man's ikkar is limud Torah. But we don't get a mitzvah for learning Torah, so how can we merit olam haba??)
The answer is through sending our husbands to learn Torah and our children to learn Torah.
Because what else are we living for, if not Torah? Why live life, if not to be close to HaShem and earn our place in olam haba to be the closest we possibly can be to Him?
And anything we do for our husbands and children is a mitzvah. So yes, doing laundry, cooking, changing diapers (Rav Meir Eliyahu quotes a big Rav -- I forgot who -- who said that every time a woman changes her child's diaper, it's k'ilu she put on tefillin. Not joking!), singing songs to your toddler who wants to hear the same thing over and over and over again...
all of that is a mitzvah.
This doesn't only apply to married women.
This also applies to single women. I have a single friend who has told me she is making a lot of money per hour and has all this money and has no clue what to do with it. She goes on vacations. She buys nice clothing. Now what??
SUPPORT LIMUD TORAH! Give tzdaka. BH you're able to give more than 10%. (I hope she's reading this because I didn't tell her this when we spoke on the phone. I love you btw.)
The Gemara tells us that supporting Torah is one of a woman's main missions in this world. A single woman should support Torah (by giving to a kollel, a needy avrech family, a shul, etc.) as much as she can. There is no limit to this.
Find meaning in the most "mundane" of daily life. Say a l'shem yichud before doing these things.
"I'm cooking a kosher healthy meal so that my husband will have koach for his Avodat HaShem"
"I'm getting dressed this morning because I am a bat Melech, and it is a priviledge and honor to be a tznua"
"I'm eating so that I'll have koach and energy to pray to HaShem"
"I'm exercising so that I'll be healthy and be able to continue doing mitzvoth without any health distractions"
"I'm working so that I'll have money to buy food for Shabbat kodesh, to clothe my wife and kids, to pay rent for our home which is a mikdash me'at, etc."
etc. etc. etc.
The list is endless.
And this will also help you stay away from the bad things that waste time, and therefore, waste life and meaningful days. For ex, there's no l'shem yichud before watching a movie. Sorry. There isn't.
TV doesn't energize anybody. It kills brain cells and inhibits a person's potential. It imbues shtuyot in our subconscious minds, and these shtuyot don't aid anyone's avodat HaShem.
(perhaps I'll write a radical post or have my husband be a guest writer for why Disney truly isn't so clean and actually damages a person's outlook towards dating, marriage, and more.)
May we all be zochim to make each and every day count. May we each reach our true potential and may we all always feel close to HaKadosh Baruch Hu!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
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