Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Whole World is A Very Narrow Bridge...and the main thing to recall is to have no fear at all

Sometimes I think about my life as an old, bitter lady with a few cats, living all alone. Never married. No children. It's a scary thought...
a lot of people (myself included) brush it off with "chas v'shalom" but sometimes, my yetzer hara nudges me: "what if?"
What if it would actually happen?

The answer, my friends, is that all it takes is ONE moment. One day. HaShem can turn your whole life around. It's that one phone call that can happen any fateful day. That day that you're just cleaning your room, and a shadchan or friend calls and tells you that (s)he has someone for you. That day that you're studying for an exam or driving back from work. It can be any moment, any second. It can be today, or tomorrow, or the next day. It can be next week, this month, next month, next year, or in a few years.
It's possible that today is lonely. Today you had a bad experience. Today you feel miserable. But that can all change in a split second. These experiences build us up as people to be stronger and have more clarity. And as a result, we'll appreciate the good when it comes our way -- we'll appreciate it in a manner that we never would have if we hadn't experienced the "negative" moments.

We just can't give up our faith or our tefillot. Because it could be your tefillah TODAY that will change tomorrow, which will, in turn, change the rest of your life. It's davka the moments that we are MOST upset or disheartened that should drive us to daven because as the pasuk in Tehillim says "G-d is close to the broken-hearted and saves those with a crushed spirit" (Tehillim 34:19).

I have a very close friend who went out with a terrific guy, who would've done anything for her. He was your typical "prince charming" in many ways and cared about her deeply. However, for various reasons, she called it off. Right when they were soon to be engaged. The bachur kept trying to reignite their relationship, but his efforts were futile. In the back of her mind, my friend knew that he'd always be there -- in case she didn't meet anyone else, he'd always be waiting for her. She continued dating and had heart-breaking and disappointing experiences.
A couple of months later, "prince charming" got engaged. She was depressed and cried for days because she thought she missed her opportunity. She missed her zivug. She let him go - just like that, and now she'll never find anyone better. She kept dating, and really, she didn't meet anyone who even slightly measured up to him.

Frustrated yet realistic, she decided that she was tired of dating, and she came to the conclusion that she needs to take a break. She felt like she's enjoying the single life and college, and mayyybe in two years, she'll want to get married. She didn't want to be "tied" down...she liked living at home with few responsibilities. She liked not having to worry about parnassah or covering her hair. Nevertheless, she kept praying to HaShem to send her her zivug.
Right after she came to the conclusion that she's taking a long break, on an "ordinary" of her mother's friends met a new customer, who was very friendly and told her that he's trying to marry off his son. She called up my friend's mother, told her about the family and the guy, the guy called my friend, and voila. The rest is history. They're building their home together now.
When I asked her if he measures up to her ex-"prince charming" - she responded: "No...he doesn't measure up. He (her fiance) is even better than I could ever imagine." And smiled.
I received tremendous chizzuk from this friend.
Moral of the story (what I learned, anyway): we might think we're ready, but HaShem knows better. We might think we're not ready, but HaShem knows better. Regardless of our conclusions, we must never submit to our yetzer hara and stop praying or think that our zivug isn't out there. If someone we once thought is our zivug is now married -- then (s)he wasn't our zivug! Someone who's even better for you is out there. As my Mother tells me: "every pot has a lid" -- your lid is out there, and HaShem knows exactly where that person is! Don't give up. Don't throw in the towel just yet, because your life can get better than you've ever imagined and dreamed. :)