Friday, January 14, 2011

HaShem runs the world

A friend of mine shared a beautiful insight with me:
there's no such thing as a possibility of 50%. There're only two percentages that exist. Everything in life is either 0% or 100%. Either HaShem wants it for you - or He doesn't! Something can scale at 0% today but be 100% tomorrow. And vice versa. That is to show us that we're fully dependent on HaShem, and He controls the world.

This Shabbat is b"H "Shabbat Shira" -- the "shira" reference is from this week's Parsha; in Parshat Beshalach, Bnei Yisrael sang "Az Yashir" to thank G-d for the miracle of kriyat yam suf (splitting of the reed sea). Chazal teach us that making matches/dating/finding your spouse is likened to kriyat yam suf. It's just as arduous to find that right guy (or gal) --as it is to split the sea.
But wait!
How on earth is that possible? Afterall, NOTHING is difficult for HaShem. He doesn't "sweat"! He's All Mighty. He's all powerful. He's the Master-Of-The-Universe. The splitting of the sea isn't any more difficult for HaShem than creating a wind breeze for a second.
So how can shidduchim be difficult for Him???
The answer is that shidduchim ARE easy for HaShem to make; Chazal are not referring to HaShem's actual matching and formation of shidduchim. Rather, they're referring to emunah! Just like it was difficult for Bnei Yisrael to keep up their emunah in HaShem when they were faced with tons of Egyptian soldiers and had nowhere to run, so too it is difficult to have emunah in HaShem when one is looking for his or her spouse.
When faced with adversity, people can begin to have misconceptions about the solution. For example: I'll only find my zivug when I meet this well-known-shadchan-who-made-100-matches, when I lose x amount of weight, when I have a higher paying job, etc. That mentality is flawed. That person is placing his emunah in the shadchan and his own power...not HaShem's power! We need to know that although we must do our hishtadlut, ultimately, it is HaShem who sends us our zivugim! It's either 100% or 0%; either He thinks it's the right time for us, or He doesn't.

Around a year ago, I attended a wonderful shiur about this parasha that really made a difference in my life. The Rabbi explained that hope is the essence of a successful person. Before the splitting of the sea, many members of Bnei Yisrael panicked -- "what will happen to us??! Will the Egyptians all murder us now?!"
But Nachson ben Aminadav didn't panic; he jumped into the (unsplit) ocean. After he jumped in, the sea split!
His action prompted the miracle because he trusted in HaShem; he KNEW HaShem is helping and will help them. The truly successful individual is the one who knows where his success comes from. If you have hope and emunah in HaShem, you're set. You will do well in school. You will get married. You will have children. You will have a parnassah. Just (as the Journey song preaches) -- "don't stop believing!"

HaShem loves us and is taking care of us, so don't give up! Keep trying with your full 100%.

It's a segulah (especially for finding your zivug) to recite "Az Yashir" in Shul this Shabbat -- Shabbat Shira -- with extra kavana! B"H all of our tefillot should be answered l'tova.

Shabbat shalom :)


  1. Great post but just one comment, who made up all of these segulah?

  2. Azriel Tzvi - thanks! :)
    honestly, I don't know. It's one of those segulot that makes sense and that I've heard about a few times before. There are many segulot that have sources (for some examples, see here:

    but about this particular one, en li musag. But I challenge you to find it in a sefer. :D

    Shabbat shalom!

  3. My principal always said that shidduchim are easy for Hashem like kriyat yamsuf..its people that keep getting in the way

  4. Sefardi Gal said:
    "...when I have a higher paying job..."

    Studies have shown that females with higher paying jobs have more difficulty getting married and staying married.

  5. The most fantastic part of that site is:

    "Segulot for Shalom Bayit.
    1) Speaking with your spouse.
    2) Being nice to your spouse.
    3) Caring about your spouse.
    4) Putting your spouse first."

    It is very similar to what one of my rabbeim said in yeshiva, "a great segulah for learning is to open your gemara..."

    As far as finding that segulah in seforim, you have more of a chance of finding (insert a highly unlikely scenario here, i couldn't think of any good ones). I know someone will probably quote me all of those gemarot in brachot, shabbat, megilah... about Olam Haba or living a long life, or a chazal about tzedakah or drinking the havdalah wine or... I know them. The point is that nowadays everybody is running after segulot like red bendels and crazy eye ball jewelery.
    If people would be better people the whole year they would not need a "get out of jail free card" by going to Rav Nacham's Kever in Uman for Rosh Hashana, also it probably doesn't help their shalom bayis to leave their wives at that time either. Let's not forget the excellent stories that we hear from their every year. Or the crazy stories from Bar Yochi's Kever in Meron on Lag Baomer.
    Soon we will have segulot for how to find a good segulah.
    Rant over.

  6. Aminspiration - lol. uh-oh.

    Mr. Cohen - Well, I was referring to men, but I'm sure are many guys who want to marry solid-earners.
    I went out with one guy who made it clear that he wants his wife to earn a $60,000+ salary. I guess he didn't want to pay the bills alone.

    Azriel Tzvi - 100% agree about the eye ball bracelets. :D
    Honestly, I'm not crazy obsessed with segulot, but I think think that when it comes to tefillah, ANY tefillah is a "segulah" -- because it's a means to achieve anything you desire.
    So I like the whole praying Perek Shira-Shir Hashirim-Iggeret HaRamban-&Nishmat Kol Chai-40 times-segulah.

  7. ohhh! so that's why all the sephardi women were screaming az yashir at the top of their lungs. Got it now! Thanks! ;)

  8. FeistyFrummy - LOL. Welcome to the blog! Like the name, btw :)

  9. That's such an interesting answer to that question - it's so true! We have to trust in Hashem because to Him nothing is hard or easy, it's all the same! He created the world and everything in it so don't you think He can find you your match no matter how far or close your future spouse lives?!

  10. Devorah - yes!! It's easy for Him. It's difficult for us (me).
    Halevai I'll have my trust and emunah in HaShem.

  11. Thanks sephardi gal! It probably would have been sephardi gal had it not already been taken ;)

  12. I just came back from Eretz Hakodesh, and I wanted to let you know that I prayed by Amuka for you and all others in Klal Yisrael for shidduchim. May we hear of only Semachot in Bnei Yisrael!

  13. Feistyfrummy - :)

    Mizrachigal - "May we hear of only Semachot in Bnei Yisrael!" AMEN!
    thank you! That's very touching that you remembered. :) May you also have only smachot and b"H build your own bayit ne'eman b'yisrael as soon as the right time is possible.

  14. Thanks sefardigal for you inspirational words...Im single, 31 and have done almost all the segulahs in the book...Its soooo true its all about emunah..Im ready to jump into the sea
    who's with me!?


  15. Malki - first of all, thank you so much for reading and welcome to the blog!
    I'm so, so happy that these words inspired you. I'll never forget when Sara Yocheved Rigler gave a speech and told the group of girls about her life story -- from being in India, to coming to Israel and becoming frum. Once she was frum and ready for marriage, she was in her late 30s. But she didn't give up - she found her true zivug and they got married. Afterwards, thoughts of pregnancy came up. Could she still get pregnant for the first time in her life around 40? She has 2 or 3 kids today.
    No situation is ever hopeless.
    Please remember that.
    I'm ready to jump in with you!!!!
    B"H may HaShem send you a lot of koach, clarity, and your true zivug, the other half of your holy neshama, at the right time and at the right place. ASAP - as soon as the right time is possible!!!!! :)

  16. SG-I got to eat a shabbos meal at Sarah Yocheved Rigler's house in the Old City. She is a true inspiration. She b"h has two children a girl and a boy.

    It is amazing to see how Hashem has a plan for everyone-iyh soon all the girls looking for shidduchim should find their other half! Purim is a time for miracles - may we all experience miracles in our own personal lives!!

  17. Devorah - that's so cool! Sounds like an amazing experience. I would love to go to her for Shabbat.
    HaShem's plan really is genius and 100% kind. I really wish I noticed it more...
    it's very difficult to always keep that in mind. Difficult, but not impossible :)

    "Purim is a time for miracles - may we all experience miracles in our own personal lives!!" AMEN!!! B"H all of us!