Monday, June 20, 2011

Sheer Joy

Recently, I was thinking about an extremely moving night of my life.

It wasn't some big party. Or some huge moment that involved a confession.

It was a particular motzei Shabbat.

I stayed by a really beautiful, holy family for Shabbat.

I didn't grow up in a frum household, and since I became religious, one of the aspects I long for the most is my own kosher kadosh, religious household. Torah, tzniut, simcha, etc.
This family embodied that ideal. Sheer holiness.

I entered the house on Erev Shabbat; their home smelled of freshly baked challah and Shabbat food.
There was no television; the pride and joy was the huge sefarim shelf. The wife saw me admiring it and looking through the books. She smiled and told me "I tell my husband that sefarim are more valuable to me than jewelry. If he wants to buy me a gift, I tell him that I'd much rather he buy a sefer rather than a jewelry!"
I fell in love with their whole family, but particularly, their son.

He was 5 years old and very well-mannered and funny. He's the one who wanted to marry me.
On Motzei Shabbat, he was already in pjamas, but he clearly wanted to stay awake. He agreed to go to bed if I would put him to sleep.

So, I walked into his room, expecting it to take the usual 2 minutes. I told him we'll say "shema" together.
"okay, but we're saying the long version!" he replied enthusiastically.
Being that he was 5 years old, I expected him to know the first line or two. The first paragraph being the MAX.

He knew the ENTIRE shema. After the shema, he procceeded to perfectly recite several perakim of Tehillim. Perakim that took me quite some time to recite by heart.
I watched with astonishment. I was amazed. I was so inspired by this 5 year old.

I felt like I was looking at the most beautiful neshama.

And I hoped (hope) that I will raise such holy children, too.


  1. you can and you will!
    if its what you really want and if its how you chose to live your life..Hashem gives us what we really want either for the good or the bad.
    My teacher always said that you marry the guy you deserve. I think that it applies to everything. You will have the children you deserve and will have the family you deserve.

    The work starts now to make sure that happens.

  2. That's SO beautiful and precious!!

    If you want it hard enough, you'll get it! Remember, the mother has a huge part in the chinuch of her children - and that's gonna be you!

  3. One of my rabbeim in yeshiva said the following:
    Imagine in your mind your children. Imagine everything that you want them to have and everything you want them to want in their lives. Then imagine the mother of those children (in your case I guess it would be father). Imagine everything about her (him). Now imagine the kind of guy (girl) she (he) would marry. Now your goal is to be become that person in your mind. Only then can you dream of having the children you want. Otherwise why would your bashert ever want to marry you?

    It's pretty intense, but it's some great mussar.

  4. Aminspiration - b"H HaShem has a lot of rachamim, and He'll often give us even what we don't deserve!
    But yes, you're right.
    It's like the story about a famous Rav (I think the Chazon Ish?) -- a couple came to him with their single daughter and said "help us!! Help our daughter, she's not married and doesn't want to get married!" The Rav said something along the lines of "you're coming to me 20 years too late." -- meaning that you don't start disciplining your children when (s)he is 20; nor 7; nor 1. You start even before you're married -- you start with yourself!

    Devorah - I really hope so! I know you're speaking from experience b"H :)

    Mr. Cohen - one definitely has to treat Sefarim with proper respect and care, but I think one also has to be wary with interpreting nisyonot and tragedies that befall others.
    How are we supposed to do din v'cheshbon for others? Only HaShem can do that.
    We can't pretend to assume the reasons.
    If we judge others with mercy, HaShem judges others with mercy. If we judge others strictly (easily), then HaShem will judge us strictly.

    Azriel Tzvi - I've heard that before (and done that assessment on myself, as well, of course) -- it's very true.
    Now I'm waiting :D

  5. I agree with aminspiration and Devorah - we have to work hard for that, and the mother has a big part in it, but sometimes we just get it and we can't even take any of the credit for it. It's just a gift. I'm talking from experience!

  6. For obvious reasons, certain comments were removed.

  7. SG: :) I was about to email you that you can keep those comments up if you want, but thanks.

  8. That was so so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing!!! May you be zoche to such a home!

  9. Ainodmilvado613 - "May you be zoche to such a home!" amen! Thank you!
    Welcome to the blog and thanks for reading!
    PS: love your username!