Dear HaShem,
I know that because of Your ultimate rachamim, You keep me alive.
I know that You love me.
I know that You care about me.
I know that You want a relationship with me.
I know that You’re my Father in Heaven, and I’m Your daughter.
I am the daughter of the King of the universe.
Doesn’t every Father want to see His daughter married?
Doesn’t every King want to see the princess taken care of by a prince?
I want to worship You. So much.
But this single thing is really in my way.
It limits me.
I can worship you so much better if I was married to my true zivug.
Our marriage would bring out my potential
And his.
We would worship you together.
I’d wear my beautiful, modest mitpachot.
I’d light my nerot Shabbat with olive oil.
My Shabbat table will be full with guests, food, and inspiring Divrei Torah.
With Your help, I’d give birth and raise holy, special, beautiful, healthy children
And teach them Your righteous ways.
Your holy Torah and mitzvot.
I know that marriage is work.
And I will work on it to make sure that
My relationship with my husband is full of true love. True giving based on Torah.
So that the Shechina will dwell in our home and marriage.
Right now…
I don’t have my own holy and kosher home.
It plagues my thoughts.
That I’m alone.
That I’m half a soul.
That I’m not complete.
That I’m not giving to my soul-mate.
Oh, how limited I am.
How I long for him.
How my curiosity replays over and over again in my head.
Oh G-d…
It is so difficult and painful. It is almost too much to bare.
I know that You don’t give anybody tests that they can’t pass.
So, I know I can pass this one.
I’m asking You to help me pass.
Please help me not obsess.
Please help me deal with this situation correctly.
Help me not be in so much anguish.
Please grant me the clarity, strength, and faith to always be happy and
Not worry. Not cry. Not have doubt.
Not to have inner-turmoil.
Please send my special zivug to me soon.
Or send me to him.
May my zivug please be the person whom I need.
The best possible zivug for me.
Please help me not pass up on him.
And help him not pass up on me.
Please help me not be an older single.
Please, please, please.
You are The only One I turn to.
You are The One Who is mezaveg zivugim.
Nobody else.
I am 100% fully dependent on You.
You are Plan A. there is no plan B or C.
You’re the Source for it all.
Please, please, please.
Shma Tefillati and please answer me l’tova.
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I was at a Rabbi Yisroel Reisman shiur, and he was saying that everyone has problems amongst these categories:
ReplyDeleteHealth, parnossa, children at risk, or difficulties in shidduchim.
And I decided that from all of those, I'll take the last category.
I tell myself that so many things have to line up properly, and that He wants us to marry. But we may have to wait for the ideal. I used to walk around dejected and angry at others, but then I decided that optimism is the better option.
Then, when we eventually get it, we will appreciate it all the more.
Sefardi Gal, may I suggest that unmarried people can do many things to serve G_d?
ReplyDeleteAs an unmarried person, you have more time for: reciting Tehillim, kiruv rechokim, bikur cholim, studying Torah, Partners in Torah, Volunteers for Israel, helping NCSY with Shabbatonim, treadmill machine, crunches, and aerobics.
HaShem should answer your tefillos soon (by saying it's now the right time)! This is a truly heartfelt, and well-written prayer. As I've mentioned on my blog, ASoG and I work as connectors and are generally trying to be helpful in shidduchim, so if you're interested in more direct assistance (whatever we can do) please shoot me an email.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful plea written from the heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing all that here.
May your tefillos be answered very soon!
Princess Lea - for sure the ones who have to wait longer and daven for something will appreciate it much more! :)
ReplyDeleteMr. Cohen - you're right. But as a single, it's easy to feel like half of a whole. Or rather, if one is healthy -- a whole half.
Shades - you already received my email :D
Devorah - amen! Thank you so much.
AMEN !
ReplyDeleteHashem should answer you SOON for the good!!