I know it seems that I'm not here, but I am. Just been very busy with life. Thank G-d. It's good to be busy.
I feel like I have an ongoing blog in my head 24/7. Like, Sefardi Gal's thoughts and comments. I can't seem to ever press the pause or "shhhh" button.
I so often want to (actually) blog and then I get lazy or tired or remember that I have laundry to do :)
Or that I need to make some awesome baked ziti for dinner (yeah, it came out really good tonight!) & whole wheat oatmeal low sugar chocolate cookies (not as good. Why do the fattening cookies always taste better?!)
All of those are not valid excuses, but oh well. Patience is a virtue.
I received this awesome e-mail from Aish.com's "Shabbat Shalom Weekly" emails. I thought to post it since it served as great chizuk for me:
5 Steps to Genuine Prayer:
1) Feel God's presence. You are talking to a loving, all-powerful Being Who wants to give you everything that's good. All over the world God is answering prayers because He loves His children.
2) Expect results. God has a track record. If you don't really believe God can and will help you, you're not really praying.
3) Pay attention to what God is teaching you. Everything that happens is for your good. If you are in need, realize God is teaching you something. If you trust Him, you will hear what He is telling you.
4) Get in touch with what you're really after. Know your bottom line. You're talking to the awesome Creator, so don't ask for nonsense. He wants you to grow up.
5) Being serious about what you're praying for means that you're doing everything you can to make it happen. God will lend a hand only when you put in the effort. He'll never take away your independence because that's His ultimate gift to you.
Showing posts with label Emunah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emunah. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
A 9/11 Miracle: in Memory of September 11...
This video moves me every time. HaShem is watching over every single one of us.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Heart Healing
(Whoa! Two posts in one day?
What can I say...I'm an extreme person at times.)
Ever had your heart torn into pieces and then had the perpetrator dance the cha cha all over it?
There's a reason why, my friends!
Ok...this post is coming at a really random time because I wanted to write about this ages ago and then forgot. So, now that I remember, I really hope it'll give chizzuk to whomever.
Anyone remember my Green Monster post?
It's no longer up here. (There's no proof that I wrote it!! Mwahahaha)
Basically, the post was about how there was a guy I was positive I was going to marry. I obsessed over him for weeks until finally he asked around about me, and we were going to date and then marry and live happily after.
That is... only after he'd finish taking his finals, of course.
My best friend told me to cool it down. I was getting too worked up.
She was right.
Well, anyway, as I was planning our wedding,
I had a friend tell me that she's dating an amazing guy.
Really? Awesome.
Totally not politically correct in the world of shidduchim, but I asked her for his name.
And then my heart sank.
It was the guy. The one who was supposedly too busy to date me because he was taking his finals.
Needless to say, I was crazy. And heart broken.
It wasn't her fault at all, but I was mad at this friend. Afterall, I was nuts. And had heart pains.
Anyway, eventually, I got over it and was super happy for her.
And super miserable for my single self.
FFWD to after I met my hubby.
I saw this friend, and we were catching up. My hubby and her hubby began talking, and then were standing in front of us.
I took one look ahead and thought "wow. My husband is so much kinder, smarter, holier, and better looking than that guy is! How could I have ever been so nuts to think that other guy would be my fiance?!"
Yeah. It was a super great moment.
I went through many heartbreaks while dating. In particular, there were four guys who I dated and wanted to marry. All four didn't want me.
Each time, it was tragic. I indulged in many gummy candies and morbid break up songs.
There're times when I ponder about what my life would've been like if I married any of those guys. And then I realize: wow. How good HaShem is! How generous and kind. How he protected me from being in a bad marriage, and how my husband is so much better than all of them combined :)
The song "ki hirbeta tovot elai, tovot elai" pops into my head. (See link below.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lmL6LkjqbI
We often only see HaShem's chessed in hindsight, but boy is it amazing when we see how He watches over us.
So all you singles still in solo land --
BH you'll see one day how every single heartbreak was for the best. Just keep HaShem in the picture, and daven daven daven!
BTW, all 4 of them are still single (at least, the last time I heard of them or saw them.) And Mr. Sir had another broken engagement. What a surprise.
Ok I should stop being mean.
I'm sorry. I hope all four of you bachelors get married. To amazing women. Really.
(so that those women will change you and help you stop being losers.)
Omgosh, stop it Sefardi Gal. That was SO rude.
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevorach to all :)
What can I say...I'm an extreme person at times.)
Ever had your heart torn into pieces and then had the perpetrator dance the cha cha all over it?
There's a reason why, my friends!
Ok...this post is coming at a really random time because I wanted to write about this ages ago and then forgot. So, now that I remember, I really hope it'll give chizzuk to whomever.
Anyone remember my Green Monster post?
It's no longer up here. (There's no proof that I wrote it!! Mwahahaha)
Basically, the post was about how there was a guy I was positive I was going to marry. I obsessed over him for weeks until finally he asked around about me, and we were going to date and then marry and live happily after.
That is... only after he'd finish taking his finals, of course.
My best friend told me to cool it down. I was getting too worked up.
She was right.
Well, anyway, as I was planning our wedding,
I had a friend tell me that she's dating an amazing guy.
Really? Awesome.
Totally not politically correct in the world of shidduchim, but I asked her for his name.
And then my heart sank.
It was the guy. The one who was supposedly too busy to date me because he was taking his finals.
Needless to say, I was crazy. And heart broken.
It wasn't her fault at all, but I was mad at this friend. Afterall, I was nuts. And had heart pains.
Anyway, eventually, I got over it and was super happy for her.
And super miserable for my single self.
FFWD to after I met my hubby.
I saw this friend, and we were catching up. My hubby and her hubby began talking, and then were standing in front of us.
I took one look ahead and thought "wow. My husband is so much kinder, smarter, holier, and better looking than that guy is! How could I have ever been so nuts to think that other guy would be my fiance?!"
Yeah. It was a super great moment.
I went through many heartbreaks while dating. In particular, there were four guys who I dated and wanted to marry. All four didn't want me.
Each time, it was tragic. I indulged in many gummy candies and morbid break up songs.
There're times when I ponder about what my life would've been like if I married any of those guys. And then I realize: wow. How good HaShem is! How generous and kind. How he protected me from being in a bad marriage, and how my husband is so much better than all of them combined :)
The song "ki hirbeta tovot elai, tovot elai" pops into my head. (See link below.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lmL6LkjqbI
We often only see HaShem's chessed in hindsight, but boy is it amazing when we see how He watches over us.
So all you singles still in solo land --
BH you'll see one day how every single heartbreak was for the best. Just keep HaShem in the picture, and daven daven daven!
BTW, all 4 of them are still single (at least, the last time I heard of them or saw them.) And Mr. Sir had another broken engagement. What a surprise.
Ok I should stop being mean.
I'm sorry. I hope all four of you bachelors get married. To amazing women. Really.
(so that those women will change you and help you stop being losers.)
Omgosh, stop it Sefardi Gal. That was SO rude.
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevorach to all :)
Friday, March 15, 2013
The Mission...Possible.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this on the blog before, but one of my favorite hobbies is people watching. I like looking at people. Random people. All kinds of people. Analyzing their actions, their thoughts, their pasts, present, and future.
As I walk around the streets, I notice so many people. There are just SO many people in this incredible world that HaShem created. Everyone's walking. Quickly. Everyone seems to be in such a rush. And the ones who aren't seem to be weak. Tired. The old lady with her dog. The exhausted mother with her baby in the carriage.
And I wonder: everyone is heading somewhere. Clearly everyone is walking...so that means they're moving - but WHERE are they all going?
There're billions of people in the world. Nearly everyone, who is able to, leaves to the house at some point and walks somewhere. Everyone has that destination. That store they must go to, the errand that needs to be done, the meeting that needs to be attended, the doctor's appointment they must go to...
And why is that so? Why is it that most people don't dwell in their homes all day long? FOREVER?
Because that is the way of the world - that people are always moving. Our mind goes crazy if we're idle and tells the body: BE BUSY! If that's true for the physucal reality of the world, then shouldn't that also be the spiritual reality of this world? That our neshama should always be moving?
And just like people KNOW where they're walking to - shouldn't our neshama KNOW where its going?
And anyway, what is our neshama?
Well, I once heard an amazing quote that, since then, has become one of my all-time favorite quotes. "You DON'T have a soul. You have a body. You ARE a soul."
Our neshama is our essence. Our essence is just BEGGING to be close to HaShem. There's this magnetic pull. If you can picture your neshama in Shamayim... it would just instantly pull towards where the Shechina is.
Yet, we're in this world. And so many people, SO many of these billions of people, have no idea that they have a soul. No idea that their soul has an ultimate destination. They just live for the moment. "Go with the flow"
Or go by the motto "life is a deck of cards - you get what's handed to you."
Of those billions of people, we have around 13 million Jews in the world. How many Jews know where they're heading - spiritually?
Now how about you? Yes, you. The one reading this! Do you know where you're heading? Do you realize that every second in this world is CRUCIAL to your life mission, otherwise HaShem wouldn't keep you here?
Scary thoughts.
But no. It's only a scary thought if these were questions that nobody knows the answer to.
Thank G-d, we have a manual to guide us and allow us to access the truth. HaShem gave us the Torah - "etz chayim hee" - she (the Torah) is a tree of life. We LIVE by the Torah. It's not just a lifestyle or a history book or a book full of good advice. It's literally life. Anything antithetical to Torah is death.
That's the only way a neshama can be successful in this world: to view the Torah as LIFE and anything that is NOT Torah is DEATH.
Let's look at what HaRamchal, Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzatto z"l, wrote in his fundamental work of "Mesillat Yesharim" - Path of the Just. His introduction to this incredible sefer is A MUST read for every single Jew. "Chovat Ha'Adam b'olama" - man's obligation (or mission) in this world.
Bli neder, I will post it one day. It's truly life changing.
Shabbat Shalom :)
As I walk around the streets, I notice so many people. There are just SO many people in this incredible world that HaShem created. Everyone's walking. Quickly. Everyone seems to be in such a rush. And the ones who aren't seem to be weak. Tired. The old lady with her dog. The exhausted mother with her baby in the carriage.
And I wonder: everyone is heading somewhere. Clearly everyone is walking...so that means they're moving - but WHERE are they all going?
There're billions of people in the world. Nearly everyone, who is able to, leaves to the house at some point and walks somewhere. Everyone has that destination. That store they must go to, the errand that needs to be done, the meeting that needs to be attended, the doctor's appointment they must go to...
And why is that so? Why is it that most people don't dwell in their homes all day long? FOREVER?
Because that is the way of the world - that people are always moving. Our mind goes crazy if we're idle and tells the body: BE BUSY! If that's true for the physucal reality of the world, then shouldn't that also be the spiritual reality of this world? That our neshama should always be moving?
And just like people KNOW where they're walking to - shouldn't our neshama KNOW where its going?
And anyway, what is our neshama?
Well, I once heard an amazing quote that, since then, has become one of my all-time favorite quotes. "You DON'T have a soul. You have a body. You ARE a soul."
Our neshama is our essence. Our essence is just BEGGING to be close to HaShem. There's this magnetic pull. If you can picture your neshama in Shamayim... it would just instantly pull towards where the Shechina is.
Yet, we're in this world. And so many people, SO many of these billions of people, have no idea that they have a soul. No idea that their soul has an ultimate destination. They just live for the moment. "Go with the flow"
Or go by the motto "life is a deck of cards - you get what's handed to you."
Of those billions of people, we have around 13 million Jews in the world. How many Jews know where they're heading - spiritually?
Now how about you? Yes, you. The one reading this! Do you know where you're heading? Do you realize that every second in this world is CRUCIAL to your life mission, otherwise HaShem wouldn't keep you here?
Scary thoughts.
But no. It's only a scary thought if these were questions that nobody knows the answer to.
Thank G-d, we have a manual to guide us and allow us to access the truth. HaShem gave us the Torah - "etz chayim hee" - she (the Torah) is a tree of life. We LIVE by the Torah. It's not just a lifestyle or a history book or a book full of good advice. It's literally life. Anything antithetical to Torah is death.
That's the only way a neshama can be successful in this world: to view the Torah as LIFE and anything that is NOT Torah is DEATH.
Let's look at what HaRamchal, Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzatto z"l, wrote in his fundamental work of "Mesillat Yesharim" - Path of the Just. His introduction to this incredible sefer is A MUST read for every single Jew. "Chovat Ha'Adam b'olama" - man's obligation (or mission) in this world.
Bli neder, I will post it one day. It's truly life changing.
Shabbat Shalom :)
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Juggling the Extremes
Or am I?
Well, yes, I've moved to this new land.
It's sort of near Shamayim.
Have you heard of it?
I'll give you a hint: it starts with the word "Eretz" :)
Oh, and, I have a mini special somebody around whom I carried for 9 months (well, 39 weeks and a few days, actually, but who's counting?).
Baruch HaShem!
So, yes, I've been busy.
But why am I making excuses, anyway? I never committed to a blog.
But still. This blog holds a special place in my heart. It was an island for both my vents and my chizzuk.
To all the readers who have sent me emails: please don't think that I was ignoring you.
I seriously only checked the emails a few days ago. For the first time. I'm not joking.
Anywho, it was Purim a few weeks ago.
Purim has a lot of gadlut to it...it's such a shame so many people miss out the spiritual opportunity and instead solely indulge in physical opportunities (ie: drunk men.)
Speaking of drunk men...
when I was 19, after witnessing one too many religious guys get drunk on Purim, I decided that if my husband would ever get drunk on Purim, I would change the locks to our front door and let him sleep outside.
It was only fair to warn my innocent husband-to-be while we were engaged that I can be cruel if my husband decides to join the drunk frummy bandwagen.
So Baruch HaShem my husband is not one of those idiotic drunk men on Purim (or ever) :)
May HaShem help those men, and may He help me not get so mad at them every year.
Oftentimes, spiritual opportunities can completely pass us by. Why's that? Because whenever there's potential for great purity and holiness, there's also potential for great tuma.
A perfect example of this is:
A perfect example of this is motzei Shabbat. Motzei Shabbat is the time when the holy Shabbat is over, but the queen is still in the vacinity. Our neshama yetera leaves us, and we're left with a feeling of loneliness. Suddenly, we feel the need to do something fulfilling.
Ever wonder why there's such a temptation to "go out" and "have fun" on motzei Shabbat? Yep, that's why. And sadly, many Jews in the world think that going to a movie, club, party, etc. motzei Shabbat will help them fill the lonely spot.
But no.
Since we lost something spiritual, we can only fix the feeling of emptiness with something spiritual. So we have a melaveh malka meal filled with divrei Torah, songs, music, and connection to HaShem.
But this takes a lot of effort! Especially because there's such a strong yetzer hara to ignore the spiritual void and to focus on the physiciality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Saturday night is the most avera-filled evening of the week.
Wherever there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma. Interestingly enough, it doesn't work the other way. If there's a place filled with tuma - you're most likely not going to find great kedusha there.
We also see this in our parashat hashavua (2 weeks ago) with the incident of chet haegel. How could Bnei Yisrael commit just a horrendous avera? They just witnessed Har Sinai and heard HaShem speak to them! I mean, what's more holy and life-changing than that?!
It's a question that all the mefarshim deal with, and many different answers are given. The main one being that it was mainly the erev rav - 1% of the nation who committed the sin.
But still. How could the 1% commit such a grave sin?
The answer is: where there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma.
They could've waited for Moshe while learning together, davening, staying on the high and embracing the holiness that just came upon them. But that's not what happened.
A wise person never thinks he's ONLY immersed in kedusha. Don't be fooled. Be wise and always look out and be aware of the tuma. Never think that you're untouchable, and that the yetzer hara can't fool you. (But also don't think that you're doomed! Afterall, chazal (kiddushin 30b) teach us that HaShem said "barati yetzer hara, barati lo Torah tavlin" (I created the yetzer hara, but I also created the Torah as the antidote for it.)
Once you know what you're competing against, you can use the tools and strength from the yetzer hatov to win the battle and live in the life of holiness.
Mannnnn I just want to LIVEEEEE IN THE HHHHHHOLINESSSSSSSS!
Hatzlacha Rabba to all of my readers. I'll try to respond to all of the emails soon.
(Special shout out to one of my dear readers & former Garden of Emuna chavruta: your email was accidentally deleted, but I would really love to respond to it. Please e-mail me again soon!)
I hope to post soon. But I can't promise :)
Love,
Sefardi Gal
Well, yes, I've moved to this new land.
It's sort of near Shamayim.
Have you heard of it?
I'll give you a hint: it starts with the word "Eretz" :)
Oh, and, I have a mini special somebody around whom I carried for 9 months (well, 39 weeks and a few days, actually, but who's counting?).
Baruch HaShem!
So, yes, I've been busy.
But why am I making excuses, anyway? I never committed to a blog.
But still. This blog holds a special place in my heart. It was an island for both my vents and my chizzuk.
To all the readers who have sent me emails: please don't think that I was ignoring you.
I seriously only checked the emails a few days ago. For the first time. I'm not joking.
Anywho, it was Purim a few weeks ago.
Purim has a lot of gadlut to it...it's such a shame so many people miss out the spiritual opportunity and instead solely indulge in physical opportunities (ie: drunk men.)
Speaking of drunk men...
when I was 19, after witnessing one too many religious guys get drunk on Purim, I decided that if my husband would ever get drunk on Purim, I would change the locks to our front door and let him sleep outside.
It was only fair to warn my innocent husband-to-be while we were engaged that I can be cruel if my husband decides to join the drunk frummy bandwagen.
So Baruch HaShem my husband is not one of those idiotic drunk men on Purim (or ever) :)
May HaShem help those men, and may He help me not get so mad at them every year.
Oftentimes, spiritual opportunities can completely pass us by. Why's that? Because whenever there's potential for great purity and holiness, there's also potential for great tuma.
A perfect example of this is:
A perfect example of this is motzei Shabbat. Motzei Shabbat is the time when the holy Shabbat is over, but the queen is still in the vacinity. Our neshama yetera leaves us, and we're left with a feeling of loneliness. Suddenly, we feel the need to do something fulfilling.
Ever wonder why there's such a temptation to "go out" and "have fun" on motzei Shabbat? Yep, that's why. And sadly, many Jews in the world think that going to a movie, club, party, etc. motzei Shabbat will help them fill the lonely spot.
But no.
Since we lost something spiritual, we can only fix the feeling of emptiness with something spiritual. So we have a melaveh malka meal filled with divrei Torah, songs, music, and connection to HaShem.
But this takes a lot of effort! Especially because there's such a strong yetzer hara to ignore the spiritual void and to focus on the physiciality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Saturday night is the most avera-filled evening of the week.
Wherever there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma. Interestingly enough, it doesn't work the other way. If there's a place filled with tuma - you're most likely not going to find great kedusha there.
We also see this in our parashat hashavua (2 weeks ago) with the incident of chet haegel. How could Bnei Yisrael commit just a horrendous avera? They just witnessed Har Sinai and heard HaShem speak to them! I mean, what's more holy and life-changing than that?!
It's a question that all the mefarshim deal with, and many different answers are given. The main one being that it was mainly the erev rav - 1% of the nation who committed the sin.
But still. How could the 1% commit such a grave sin?
The answer is: where there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma.
They could've waited for Moshe while learning together, davening, staying on the high and embracing the holiness that just came upon them. But that's not what happened.
A wise person never thinks he's ONLY immersed in kedusha. Don't be fooled. Be wise and always look out and be aware of the tuma. Never think that you're untouchable, and that the yetzer hara can't fool you. (But also don't think that you're doomed! Afterall, chazal (kiddushin 30b) teach us that HaShem said "barati yetzer hara, barati lo Torah tavlin" (I created the yetzer hara, but I also created the Torah as the antidote for it.)
Once you know what you're competing against, you can use the tools and strength from the yetzer hatov to win the battle and live in the life of holiness.
Mannnnn I just want to LIVEEEEE IN THE HHHHHHOLINESSSSSSSS!
Hatzlacha Rabba to all of my readers. I'll try to respond to all of the emails soon.
(Special shout out to one of my dear readers & former Garden of Emuna chavruta: your email was accidentally deleted, but I would really love to respond to it. Please e-mail me again soon!)
I hope to post soon. But I can't promise :)
Love,
Sefardi Gal
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Trapped Blessings
A close friend of mine shared something beautiful with me. Visualize this:
Anything you want - be it refua, parnassah, zivug, shalom bayit, etc. - is 'trapped' inside a treasure box in Shamayim. The key is already in the lock on the treasure box. All you need to do is turn the lock to open the treasure box and receive the brachot!
Your tefillot are the force to turn the key.
Through sincere, powerful tefillah -- one can expect to have enough power to turn the key.
Anything you want - be it refua, parnassah, zivug, shalom bayit, etc. - is 'trapped' inside a treasure box in Shamayim. The key is already in the lock on the treasure box. All you need to do is turn the lock to open the treasure box and receive the brachot!
Your tefillot are the force to turn the key.
Through sincere, powerful tefillah -- one can expect to have enough power to turn the key.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Plea to G-D
Dear HaShem,
I know that because of Your ultimate rachamim, You keep me alive.
I know that You love me.
I know that You care about me.
I know that You want a relationship with me.
I know that You’re my Father in Heaven, and I’m Your daughter.
I am the daughter of the King of the universe.
Doesn’t every Father want to see His daughter married?
Doesn’t every King want to see the princess taken care of by a prince?
I want to worship You. So much.
But this single thing is really in my way.
It limits me.
I can worship you so much better if I was married to my true zivug.
Our marriage would bring out my potential
And his.
We would worship you together.
I’d wear my beautiful, modest mitpachot.
I’d light my nerot Shabbat with olive oil.
My Shabbat table will be full with guests, food, and inspiring Divrei Torah.
With Your help, I’d give birth and raise holy, special, beautiful, healthy children
And teach them Your righteous ways.
Your holy Torah and mitzvot.
I know that marriage is work.
And I will work on it to make sure that
My relationship with my husband is full of true love. True giving based on Torah.
So that the Shechina will dwell in our home and marriage.
Right now…
I don’t have my own holy and kosher home.
It plagues my thoughts.
That I’m alone.
That I’m half a soul.
That I’m not complete.
That I’m not giving to my soul-mate.
Oh, how limited I am.
How I long for him.
How my curiosity replays over and over again in my head.
Oh G-d…
It is so difficult and painful. It is almost too much to bare.
I know that You don’t give anybody tests that they can’t pass.
So, I know I can pass this one.
I’m asking You to help me pass.
Please help me not obsess.
Please help me deal with this situation correctly.
Help me not be in so much anguish.
Please grant me the clarity, strength, and faith to always be happy and
Not worry. Not cry. Not have doubt.
Not to have inner-turmoil.
Please send my special zivug to me soon.
Or send me to him.
May my zivug please be the person whom I need.
The best possible zivug for me.
Please help me not pass up on him.
And help him not pass up on me.
Please help me not be an older single.
Please, please, please.
You are The only One I turn to.
You are The One Who is mezaveg zivugim.
Nobody else.
I am 100% fully dependent on You.
You are Plan A. there is no plan B or C.
You’re the Source for it all.
Please, please, please.
Shma Tefillati and please answer me l’tova.
I know that because of Your ultimate rachamim, You keep me alive.
I know that You love me.
I know that You care about me.
I know that You want a relationship with me.
I know that You’re my Father in Heaven, and I’m Your daughter.
I am the daughter of the King of the universe.
Doesn’t every Father want to see His daughter married?
Doesn’t every King want to see the princess taken care of by a prince?
I want to worship You. So much.
But this single thing is really in my way.
It limits me.
I can worship you so much better if I was married to my true zivug.
Our marriage would bring out my potential
And his.
We would worship you together.
I’d wear my beautiful, modest mitpachot.
I’d light my nerot Shabbat with olive oil.
My Shabbat table will be full with guests, food, and inspiring Divrei Torah.
With Your help, I’d give birth and raise holy, special, beautiful, healthy children
And teach them Your righteous ways.
Your holy Torah and mitzvot.
I know that marriage is work.
And I will work on it to make sure that
My relationship with my husband is full of true love. True giving based on Torah.
So that the Shechina will dwell in our home and marriage.
Right now…
I don’t have my own holy and kosher home.
It plagues my thoughts.
That I’m alone.
That I’m half a soul.
That I’m not complete.
That I’m not giving to my soul-mate.
Oh, how limited I am.
How I long for him.
How my curiosity replays over and over again in my head.
Oh G-d…
It is so difficult and painful. It is almost too much to bare.
I know that You don’t give anybody tests that they can’t pass.
So, I know I can pass this one.
I’m asking You to help me pass.
Please help me not obsess.
Please help me deal with this situation correctly.
Help me not be in so much anguish.
Please grant me the clarity, strength, and faith to always be happy and
Not worry. Not cry. Not have doubt.
Not to have inner-turmoil.
Please send my special zivug to me soon.
Or send me to him.
May my zivug please be the person whom I need.
The best possible zivug for me.
Please help me not pass up on him.
And help him not pass up on me.
Please help me not be an older single.
Please, please, please.
You are The only One I turn to.
You are The One Who is mezaveg zivugim.
Nobody else.
I am 100% fully dependent on You.
You are Plan A. there is no plan B or C.
You’re the Source for it all.
Please, please, please.
Shma Tefillati and please answer me l’tova.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Love Letter
Parshat Chukat...what comes to mind? PARAH ADUMAH!!!
So, there were less than 10 red heifers (heifer? who came up with that word?) in the history of the world. Sounds rare, right?
Well, guess what? There's something holy that's even MORE rare -- in fact, there was only ONE of these in history...know what it is?
YOU! Yes, you. The person reading this blog entry right now.
Chazal teach us that there are no two that are exactly alike.
There was never anybody like you in the unverise, and there will be anybody exactly like you. HaShem gave you an individual neshama with different strengths, weaknesses, talents, and powers. HaShem wants us all to use our power and talents to contribute and give to Klal Yisrael and to fully live up to our unique potential!
How can we be sure to live it up? Pray to HaShem for clarity and strength to fully fulfill and maximize your potential and mission in this world.
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevurach!
So, there were less than 10 red heifers (heifer? who came up with that word?) in the history of the world. Sounds rare, right?
Well, guess what? There's something holy that's even MORE rare -- in fact, there was only ONE of these in history...know what it is?
YOU! Yes, you. The person reading this blog entry right now.
Chazal teach us that there are no two that are exactly alike.
There was never anybody like you in the unverise, and there will be anybody exactly like you. HaShem gave you an individual neshama with different strengths, weaknesses, talents, and powers. HaShem wants us all to use our power and talents to contribute and give to Klal Yisrael and to fully live up to our unique potential!
How can we be sure to live it up? Pray to HaShem for clarity and strength to fully fulfill and maximize your potential and mission in this world.
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevurach!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Emunah Essentials
EMUUUUUUNNNNAAAHH!!! What a concept. WOWWW.
I heard most of the following ideas from a fantastic & inspiring shiur by Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser.
Chazal teach us that Shamai would go out daily and seek something nice for Shabbat. He would find a nice object, like a fruit or vegetable, and say "l'kavod Shabbat" & set it aside. Then the next day, he would go out and when he would find something even nicer than what he found during the previous day, he would say "l'kavod Shabbat." And that was one of his daily goals: find something nice for Shabbat.
Hillel, on the other hand, would go out on EREV SHABBAT and simply have emunah that he would find something l'kavod Shabbat. And he would find something every week.
So, who had a higher level of emunah?
THEY BOTH HAD EMUNAH!
So should an individual wait to see if (s)he finds something better or take the good that he finds immediately when he finds it? Should a person wait until the last minute? What if he won't find what he's looking for?
The answer is EMUNAH!
There's a quote from Tehillim => "they trusted HaShem, and HaShem made sure they weren't embarrassed."
Chazal teach us => "the tzaddik decrees and HaKadosh Baruch Hu fulfills!"
A person has to trust in HaShem and know that HaShem is "kol yachol." He can give anything to anybody. Nothing is beyond HaKadosh Baruch Hu; He has no limits. HaShem has the ability to give us all that we want. There is NOTHING that can't happen. A person should fill his heart with emunah.
One of the three questions a person is asked when he goes to Shamayim is: "did you deal "b'emunah?"
In this context, "b'emunah" is usually defined as business/dealings. Was the person honest in business? Did he cheat? Did he lie to his customers, to his shidduch prospects, etc.
However, there's another way to intrepret "b'emunah." LITERALLY - did you deal with YOUR faith?
Did you leave your emunah the way you got it in 2nd grade, or did you try to make it deeper? Did you try to grow? Did you try to learn about wha ta person should believe? Did you try to work on your middot and hashkafah and know that everything in our lives is Hashgacha Pratit?
The reason we don't know the reasoning for everything is in order to BUILD our emunah! If we knew the reasons for everything, then we would be HaShem. He's the only One Who knows!
Each individual is a ben yechidi or bat yechida (only child) of HaShem. There is NOTHING that is impossible for Him, and therefore, a person should always speak and pray to HaShem. Even for "minute" things -- because there is nothing that we can accomplish without His help!
A person should tell HaShem the following: "this is what I'm asking for. If it's good for me, please make it happen. If not, then please don't let it happen."
And if you didn't get it, then that means it wasn't right for you at the moment. A person with big emunah knows that what happens right now or doesn't happen is hashgacha.
Chovot Halevavot teaches us that the more a person can trust in HaShem, the more HaShem will protect him.
It behooves every individual to call out to HaShem and say "HaShem, You're my Father in Heaven! There's no one ELSE who can help me! It's not that I have plans A, B, C, and D. I only have plan A - HaShem! I am completely dependent on You, HaShem!"
If one approaches life with that outlook, (s)he will notice tremendous Hashgacha Pratit in life.
You have unlimited potential once you know that your strength comes from your connection with your Creator.
I heard most of the following ideas from a fantastic & inspiring shiur by Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser.
Chazal teach us that Shamai would go out daily and seek something nice for Shabbat. He would find a nice object, like a fruit or vegetable, and say "l'kavod Shabbat" & set it aside. Then the next day, he would go out and when he would find something even nicer than what he found during the previous day, he would say "l'kavod Shabbat." And that was one of his daily goals: find something nice for Shabbat.
Hillel, on the other hand, would go out on EREV SHABBAT and simply have emunah that he would find something l'kavod Shabbat. And he would find something every week.
So, who had a higher level of emunah?
THEY BOTH HAD EMUNAH!
So should an individual wait to see if (s)he finds something better or take the good that he finds immediately when he finds it? Should a person wait until the last minute? What if he won't find what he's looking for?
The answer is EMUNAH!
There's a quote from Tehillim => "they trusted HaShem, and HaShem made sure they weren't embarrassed."
Chazal teach us => "the tzaddik decrees and HaKadosh Baruch Hu fulfills!"
A person has to trust in HaShem and know that HaShem is "kol yachol." He can give anything to anybody. Nothing is beyond HaKadosh Baruch Hu; He has no limits. HaShem has the ability to give us all that we want. There is NOTHING that can't happen. A person should fill his heart with emunah.
One of the three questions a person is asked when he goes to Shamayim is: "did you deal "b'emunah?"
In this context, "b'emunah" is usually defined as business/dealings. Was the person honest in business? Did he cheat? Did he lie to his customers, to his shidduch prospects, etc.
However, there's another way to intrepret "b'emunah." LITERALLY - did you deal with YOUR faith?
Did you leave your emunah the way you got it in 2nd grade, or did you try to make it deeper? Did you try to grow? Did you try to learn about wha ta person should believe? Did you try to work on your middot and hashkafah and know that everything in our lives is Hashgacha Pratit?
The reason we don't know the reasoning for everything is in order to BUILD our emunah! If we knew the reasons for everything, then we would be HaShem. He's the only One Who knows!
Each individual is a ben yechidi or bat yechida (only child) of HaShem. There is NOTHING that is impossible for Him, and therefore, a person should always speak and pray to HaShem. Even for "minute" things -- because there is nothing that we can accomplish without His help!
A person should tell HaShem the following: "this is what I'm asking for. If it's good for me, please make it happen. If not, then please don't let it happen."
And if you didn't get it, then that means it wasn't right for you at the moment. A person with big emunah knows that what happens right now or doesn't happen is hashgacha.
Chovot Halevavot teaches us that the more a person can trust in HaShem, the more HaShem will protect him.
It behooves every individual to call out to HaShem and say "HaShem, You're my Father in Heaven! There's no one ELSE who can help me! It's not that I have plans A, B, C, and D. I only have plan A - HaShem! I am completely dependent on You, HaShem!"
If one approaches life with that outlook, (s)he will notice tremendous Hashgacha Pratit in life.
You have unlimited potential once you know that your strength comes from your connection with your Creator.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wake Up Calls
A dear reader of mine recently addressed the tragedies that have taken place over the past 2 weeks or so. The murder of the Fogel family, the tsunami in Japan, conflict in Egypt & Libya, etc.
As per yesterday, the bombing in Jerusalem has, unfortunately, been added to that list.
I (hope) many are wondering - what's going on? Why is this happening? What is the purpose that HaShem is making these events happen?
Afterall, nothing is by chance, and there's Hashgacha Pratit (Divine Providence) with EVERYTHING in the world - from "minor things" like plants growing to major world events and politics.
(See somewhat related post here)
(Just a preface to what I'm about to share: the word "olam" (world) has the shoresh of Ayin.Lamed.Mem. - which means "hidden". The essence of this world is that there're matters that are hidden to us. That means that we never know all of the facts, and we're merely viewing a few seconds out of the 5 hour movie. Our perception is blurred, and we're missing a lot of the facts -- which will remain hidden until HaShem reveals them to us in Olam Haba. So when we delve into the meaning behind these tragedies, we can never know the full story. We can suggest possibilities and try our best to perceive the limited version. We have yet to fully understand G-d's ways.)
My friend shared the following powerful mashal with me:
there was a man whose only son was gravely ill. He rushed his dear son to the hospital, and the doctors operated on the son and tried their best. The father was crying, panicking, and praying. He would give anything to see his son live and be healthy.
The doctors could only find one solution to the son's illness. A nearly unheard of solution, but nonetheless, it was a cure! So, one doctor approached the worried father and said "sir, your son is going to live...but under one condition. It's a very difficult condition, but are you willing to do it?"
"Of course! Anything!" was the anxious response.
The doctor instructed "your son can not sleep at all this whole week. If he falls asleep, it's a sure thing that he will die. After a week, bring him in for a check up, but until then, you must do everything in your power to make sure he doesn't fall asleep - or else, unfortunately, he will pass away."
The father was determined to do everything in his might to take care of his beloved son and make sure he lives. He took his son home and purposely didn't let him change into pjamas. He gave him sweets and caffeine in order to keep him awake. Eventually, in the AM hours, his son got very sleepy. The son went to bed, and the father yelled "No! Son, you can't sleep! You might die if you sleep. Please, I love you. I can't lose you. It's very important that you do not sleep."
The child was startled by the news, and he tried his best to stay awake.
But his body wasn't responding. He had a tremendous urge to sleep. His body felt weak, and he couldn't keep his eyes open. He snuck into bed and began to shut his eyes and fall asleep. His father noticed, and he followed him and took off his blanket. The son was cold. "Dad, you're so mean! Stop! Give me back my blanket. Let me sleep! I'm so tired."
At this point, he was too tired to understand what was going on - his body was tired. He wanted to sleep!
After a while without the blanket, the son got comfortable and got used to laying down without a blanket - and was falling asleep. The father yelled "no!" and took away the pillow.
The son began crying. "Why are you being so mean, Dad? Let me sleep! I don't care. Please, give me back my pillow! I just want to sleep."
It hurt the father so much to see his son in pain, but he didn't want to lose his son.
Eventually, the son became comfortable because he got used to laying down without a pillow, and he began falling asleep. The father quickly picked up his son and put him on the cold floor. Again, his son began crying and screaming "Dad, you're so mean! Why are you doing this to me? I said I don't care what happens if I sleep. I just want to sleep!"
The father didn't know what to do. Didn't his son realize how comfort is not the main priority at the moment?
The father began crying and realized that he can't hurt his son. He loves his son too much - he can't hurt him, but he also can't let him sleep. So, he decided to hire professionals to keep his son awake. The professionals came, but they weren't as nice and caring as the father. They spilled cold water on the son, they hit him, they beat him - anything to make sure he stayed awake, so that he wouldn't die.
The son continously cried, yelled, and felt tortured. Could life get any worse?
In the end, the son didn't fall asleep for a few days, and he was cured! He then understood how all of the pain and difficulty of being abused and forced to stay awake is what kept him alive.
Not quite a story you hear every day, right?
The nishmal is that HaShem is our Father. Chazal teach us that originally, G-d wanted to give the neshamot instant Gan Eden, but the neshamot complained that they don't want a freebie. They want to earn the reward. So, HaShem puts us in this world and tells our neshamot to "keep the mitzvot, follow My Torah, love your fellow Jews..."
But our neshamot come into this world and start getting comfortable. We get used to our lifestyle. We see that we don't get struck by lightning when we commit a wrong deed. We see that life goes on and no major tragedy occurs, and therefore, we continue following in our own ways. We close our eyes.
HaShem, like the father in the story, knows that we can't become too comfortable or else we'll "fall asleep" (sin). If we fall asleep, we can, chas v'shalom die. (If we sin our whole lives -- we miss out on olam haba! We won't get our reward.) We can't get olam haba if we sin our whole lives! So, He sends us wake up calls - but gently. Just like the father wasn't abusing the son, rather he was gently taking away his blanket and pillow. But nothing major. So HaShem makes tragedies happen in Japan or Afgahnistan - far away from the Jews. As a wake up call. (I've heard in a shiur, perhaps the Rabbi quoted a Gemara -- I don't remember -- that whenever a tragedy occurs in the world, it's a wake up call for the Jews to do teshuva. The tragedy was really intended for us, but HaShem has mercy on us.)
So, the wake up call works for a while. But then...it fades. We get comfortable without the pillow and blanket. We continue sinning.
So HaShem says "okay...you're My children...even though it's for your benefit, it's too difficult for Me to hurt you." So He hires "professionals." The Satan gets involved and sends our enemies...the Arabs, or whoever else. And they send us direct wake up calls. They come too close for comfort.
We think these events are so horrible - and yes, they are. They're painful - but ultimately, everything is for our benefit. To keep us AWAKE and not lose focus and get too comfortable doing averot. Adversity shakes us. It reminds us that we're not here forever. This world is transient.
One might find the transient concept to be depressing, but it's not. On the contrary! It's a reassuring thought. It's positive reinforcement: we have the potential to change. To grow. To do more mitzvot. To take on at least one new good deed - be it shmirat halashon, studying more Torah, standing up for our parents at least once a day as part of kibud Av v'Em, greeting people with a smile, giving maaser/tzdaka, saying kriyat shema before going to sleep, etc. Anything that will help us grow closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu! He wants a relationship with us, and He wants us to have a relationship with our fellow brothers and sisters.
These holy Jews who were murdered simply because they're Jewish have done a Kiddush HaShem and are instantly in Gan Eden right now. I have no doubt about that. So we're not worried for them -- their neshamot are doing well. But we need to worry about our own neshamot...because we're still here, and we need to make our time productive...while we still can.
B"H, not one Jew was not killed. Most were not severely injured. However, some were. And it is our responsibility to daven for them to have a speedy recovery. "Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh L'Zeh"
Now's our opportunity to show HaShem how much we care.
The names of the injured victims:
Leah Bracha bas Shoshana Basya
Sara Nechama bas Rus Malka
Odelia Neshama bas Michal
Shilo ben Zahava Ofra
Daniel Yehuda ben Rochel Nurit
Elchonon Ovadia ben Eilona
Yisroel ben Dina
Nosson Daniel ben Shulamis
Shaindel bat Raizel
B"H may we all have clarity to always see the right path, follow that path, and stay on the right path!
As per yesterday, the bombing in Jerusalem has, unfortunately, been added to that list.
I (hope) many are wondering - what's going on? Why is this happening? What is the purpose that HaShem is making these events happen?
Afterall, nothing is by chance, and there's Hashgacha Pratit (Divine Providence) with EVERYTHING in the world - from "minor things" like plants growing to major world events and politics.
(See somewhat related post here)
(Just a preface to what I'm about to share: the word "olam" (world) has the shoresh of Ayin.Lamed.Mem. - which means "hidden". The essence of this world is that there're matters that are hidden to us. That means that we never know all of the facts, and we're merely viewing a few seconds out of the 5 hour movie. Our perception is blurred, and we're missing a lot of the facts -- which will remain hidden until HaShem reveals them to us in Olam Haba. So when we delve into the meaning behind these tragedies, we can never know the full story. We can suggest possibilities and try our best to perceive the limited version. We have yet to fully understand G-d's ways.)
My friend shared the following powerful mashal with me:
there was a man whose only son was gravely ill. He rushed his dear son to the hospital, and the doctors operated on the son and tried their best. The father was crying, panicking, and praying. He would give anything to see his son live and be healthy.
The doctors could only find one solution to the son's illness. A nearly unheard of solution, but nonetheless, it was a cure! So, one doctor approached the worried father and said "sir, your son is going to live...but under one condition. It's a very difficult condition, but are you willing to do it?"
"Of course! Anything!" was the anxious response.
The doctor instructed "your son can not sleep at all this whole week. If he falls asleep, it's a sure thing that he will die. After a week, bring him in for a check up, but until then, you must do everything in your power to make sure he doesn't fall asleep - or else, unfortunately, he will pass away."
The father was determined to do everything in his might to take care of his beloved son and make sure he lives. He took his son home and purposely didn't let him change into pjamas. He gave him sweets and caffeine in order to keep him awake. Eventually, in the AM hours, his son got very sleepy. The son went to bed, and the father yelled "No! Son, you can't sleep! You might die if you sleep. Please, I love you. I can't lose you. It's very important that you do not sleep."
The child was startled by the news, and he tried his best to stay awake.
But his body wasn't responding. He had a tremendous urge to sleep. His body felt weak, and he couldn't keep his eyes open. He snuck into bed and began to shut his eyes and fall asleep. His father noticed, and he followed him and took off his blanket. The son was cold. "Dad, you're so mean! Stop! Give me back my blanket. Let me sleep! I'm so tired."
At this point, he was too tired to understand what was going on - his body was tired. He wanted to sleep!
After a while without the blanket, the son got comfortable and got used to laying down without a blanket - and was falling asleep. The father yelled "no!" and took away the pillow.
The son began crying. "Why are you being so mean, Dad? Let me sleep! I don't care. Please, give me back my pillow! I just want to sleep."
It hurt the father so much to see his son in pain, but he didn't want to lose his son.
Eventually, the son became comfortable because he got used to laying down without a pillow, and he began falling asleep. The father quickly picked up his son and put him on the cold floor. Again, his son began crying and screaming "Dad, you're so mean! Why are you doing this to me? I said I don't care what happens if I sleep. I just want to sleep!"
The father didn't know what to do. Didn't his son realize how comfort is not the main priority at the moment?
The father began crying and realized that he can't hurt his son. He loves his son too much - he can't hurt him, but he also can't let him sleep. So, he decided to hire professionals to keep his son awake. The professionals came, but they weren't as nice and caring as the father. They spilled cold water on the son, they hit him, they beat him - anything to make sure he stayed awake, so that he wouldn't die.
The son continously cried, yelled, and felt tortured. Could life get any worse?
In the end, the son didn't fall asleep for a few days, and he was cured! He then understood how all of the pain and difficulty of being abused and forced to stay awake is what kept him alive.
Not quite a story you hear every day, right?
The nishmal is that HaShem is our Father. Chazal teach us that originally, G-d wanted to give the neshamot instant Gan Eden, but the neshamot complained that they don't want a freebie. They want to earn the reward. So, HaShem puts us in this world and tells our neshamot to "keep the mitzvot, follow My Torah, love your fellow Jews..."
But our neshamot come into this world and start getting comfortable. We get used to our lifestyle. We see that we don't get struck by lightning when we commit a wrong deed. We see that life goes on and no major tragedy occurs, and therefore, we continue following in our own ways. We close our eyes.
HaShem, like the father in the story, knows that we can't become too comfortable or else we'll "fall asleep" (sin). If we fall asleep, we can, chas v'shalom die. (If we sin our whole lives -- we miss out on olam haba! We won't get our reward.) We can't get olam haba if we sin our whole lives! So, He sends us wake up calls - but gently. Just like the father wasn't abusing the son, rather he was gently taking away his blanket and pillow. But nothing major. So HaShem makes tragedies happen in Japan or Afgahnistan - far away from the Jews. As a wake up call. (I've heard in a shiur, perhaps the Rabbi quoted a Gemara -- I don't remember -- that whenever a tragedy occurs in the world, it's a wake up call for the Jews to do teshuva. The tragedy was really intended for us, but HaShem has mercy on us.)
So, the wake up call works for a while. But then...it fades. We get comfortable without the pillow and blanket. We continue sinning.
So HaShem says "okay...you're My children...even though it's for your benefit, it's too difficult for Me to hurt you." So He hires "professionals." The Satan gets involved and sends our enemies...the Arabs, or whoever else. And they send us direct wake up calls. They come too close for comfort.
We think these events are so horrible - and yes, they are. They're painful - but ultimately, everything is for our benefit. To keep us AWAKE and not lose focus and get too comfortable doing averot. Adversity shakes us. It reminds us that we're not here forever. This world is transient.
One might find the transient concept to be depressing, but it's not. On the contrary! It's a reassuring thought. It's positive reinforcement: we have the potential to change. To grow. To do more mitzvot. To take on at least one new good deed - be it shmirat halashon, studying more Torah, standing up for our parents at least once a day as part of kibud Av v'Em, greeting people with a smile, giving maaser/tzdaka, saying kriyat shema before going to sleep, etc. Anything that will help us grow closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu! He wants a relationship with us, and He wants us to have a relationship with our fellow brothers and sisters.
These holy Jews who were murdered simply because they're Jewish have done a Kiddush HaShem and are instantly in Gan Eden right now. I have no doubt about that. So we're not worried for them -- their neshamot are doing well. But we need to worry about our own neshamot...because we're still here, and we need to make our time productive...while we still can.
B"H, not one Jew was not killed. Most were not severely injured. However, some were. And it is our responsibility to daven for them to have a speedy recovery. "Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh L'Zeh"
Now's our opportunity to show HaShem how much we care.
The names of the injured victims:
Leah Bracha bas Shoshana Basya
Sara Nechama bas Rus Malka
Odelia Neshama bas Michal
Shilo ben Zahava Ofra
Daniel Yehuda ben Rochel Nurit
Elchonon Ovadia ben Eilona
Yisroel ben Dina
Nosson Daniel ben Shulamis
Shaindel bat Raizel
B"H may we all have clarity to always see the right path, follow that path, and stay on the right path!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Coming Out of The Cocoon
In case y'all didn't notice yet, I'm a fan of those inspirational chizzuk stories. I find that (at times) the most powerful stories that are the ones that you or someone that you know personally experienced. I have a phenomenal story to share about a very special friend of mine. This lady is truly a tzadika, and I hope my readers will be moved by this as much as I was (if not more!)
(note: the facts are true, but I edited names for the sake of anonymity.)
Around two years ago, a close friend of mine threw a challah & bracha party.
For those who are unaware, a challah & bracha party is basically when a bunch of people (usually of the female persuasion :)) get together and bake challot and make brachot on various foods & answer "amen" to each other's brachot.
Baking challah is a very special mitzvah, and that time is a strong "et tefillah" (time for prayer) -- so that's an especially auspicious to ask HaShem for whatever our heart desires.
The bracha part is when foods from each "bracha category" are beautifully presented and arranged on a table. The brachot are recited in the following descending order: "Mezonot" (food made from the 5 grains) => "Hagefen" (grapejuice or wine) => "Ha'etz" (fruits that grow on a tree) => "Ha'adama" (vegetables that don't grow on trees) => Shehakol (all other foods)
Some people also add "besamim" (a bracha on fragrances)
Each bracha is a "segulah" for a particular salvation:
Mezonot - Parnassah
Hagefen - Shidduchim/Marriage
Ha'etz - Children/Pri Beten
Ha'adma - Refua Shlemah
Shehakol - anything else (Mashiach, Geula, Shalom Bayit, success in school, etc.)
Besamim - Chazara b'teshuva (to do teshuva)
Before reciting the bracha, you take the food in your right hand and close your eyes and say the Hebrew names of the people who need the segulah that your particular bracha stands for. So, let's say before saying "ha'adma", you says the names of all of the ill people who needs a speedy recovery. Then, you makes the bracha with kavana and everyone else responds with a loud "AMEN!"
When one answers amen, one creates a malach. Chazal teach us that the "amen" is more important than the bracha -- therefore, one should always make brachot aloud and around people whenever possible in order for the "amen" to be recited.
Now, when there are a lot of people, there are usually 3 groups for each bracha. First, one group makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone from the other group answers amen. The second group then makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone responds amen. The 3rd group is only one person who REALLY needs that yeshua -- for ex, an older single will be the last one to say the bracha of "hagefen" - and everyone answers amen. That person is called "the closer."
While all of this is going on, the challah is baking in the oven and the special aroma is enveloping the apartment or house.
If anyone is interested in learning more about the power brachot/amen, I highly recommend reading this book.
Below are pictures that I've taken at Challah/Bracha parties that I've attended:
Now that we all understand what a challah & bracha party is, let's move on :)
So I was at that special event around 2 years ago. A close friend of mine, Natalie, was moving to Israel for a year, and she invited all of her friends over. At this party, I noticed a beautiful married lady. She stood out because she was wearing a vibrant colored headscarf that perfectly matched her modest outfit. She looked fashionable and tznua (modest) at the same time. She had a huge smile on her face the whole time and was very friendly. She looked pretty young, around 25 years old, and I figured that she probably has one or two kids and with that happy attitude, she is probably an amazing mommy.
Natalie introduced her to us. Tziporah was this special lady's name. Apparently she was a fashion designer and had a boutique full of modest clothing. In fact, my friend who was throwing the party was dressed impeccably, and turns out -- that's how Natalie met Tziporah. She was looking for an outfit for the party, went to Tziporah's boutique, and they instantly hit it off as friends, and she invited her to the challah & bracha party.
The summer night was going great. Everybody was in an uplifted and joyful mood. Because most of the gals who attended were single, a decision was made that we would first say our names and/or names of other singles we know, and we would each recite an individual brachot of "hagefen" and everyone would answer "amen!" Because there were around 35 single ladies there, that means over 35 brachot of "hagefen" were made within those few minutes.
Each time a single girl made a bracha of "hagefen", Tziporah started singing songs like "od yeshama" and clapping her hands. She had so much genuine simcha for each person, as if she was certain that each one of us would get married that year. She set the tone, and people joined in singing with her.
A couple of minutes later, it was time to make the bracha of "ha'etz." The blessing for barren couples who haven't had children (yet). Usually at the bracha parties I had previously attended, "the closer" was never a barren lady.
Usually "the closer" for "ha'etz" would be somebody who knows a barren married woman who is trying to conceive. I didn't even personally know any women who were incapable of having children.
Until someone asked Tziporah if she wants to be the closer. She smiled and nodded. This smile, however, was different. It wasn't a joyous smile like her previous one that didn't leave her face the whole night; rather, this time, it was a sad smile.
The 1st group made "ha'etz" and answered "amen." The 2nd group followed.
Finally, it was Tziporah's turn.
She stood up in the front of the crowd and tears began forming in her eyes. She closed her eyes and starting swaying. "May this bracha be for and my tzaddik husband ...we have been trying for 10 years...and I hope...this year." And as the tears were emerging out of her eyes, she tightly held onto the green grape in her right hand, slightly raised her hand, and said with intense kavana "Baruch ATAH HaShem Elokeinu Melech HaOlam, Boreh P'ri Ha'etz!" everyone answered a loud "AMEN!"
I was stunned. Here I thought that she was 25, with at least 2 children. If she was trying to conceive for 10 years, she had to be older than 25. And she had to have experienced more suffering than I ever imagined somebody with such a bright smile could have experienced. I cringed. I wished there was something I could do. Oh, how much pain she must be in...
these thoughts followed me as I went home. It just didn't sit well with me. Her positive energy and emunah left me on a high, but at the same time, I felt uncomfortable. The same image kept replaying in my head: the expression on her face while making the bracha with those tightly shut eyes and tears pushing out.
A few days later, Natalie gave me a call. "I'm trying to organize a group of 40 women, particularly the girls from my bracha party, to say Shir Hashirim for Tziporah on Erev Shabbat. And in that zchut, Be'ezrat HaShem, Tziporah will be expecting a child soon. Are you in?"
40 girls were gathered, and she gave us Tziporah and her husband's full Hebrew names.
I jotted down their names and kept the note in my siddur. I remembered them during my daily Shemoneh Esreh,
when lighting candles Erev Shabbat, whenever I traveled to Israel and prayed by the Kotel, etc.
Tziporah sent Natalie an e-mail, telling her that she is now a shadchan and asked if she has any friends who want to send their resumes. I sent my resume, she called me, and as a result, we became close friends because of our phone conversations. She set me up a few times, but even more importantly, she gave me chizzuk and divrei Torah. It was an emotional and logical support that very few shadchanim offered me in the past. She was one of the only shadchanim who made me feel like I will get married and should never worry -- just continue praying to HaShem and keep up the faith. She gave me brachot over the phone and invited me over her house for coffee and shmoozing.
Every conversation we had left me with a smile on my face. She was so warm and caring.
I didn't know how to ask her...if anything had changed. If she had a little somebody in her tummy.
I wanted to tell her how much my friends and I were davening for her. But I didn't say anything. I feared the possibility of offending her.
Natalie updated me from time to time, telling me to continue davening and not to give up. I knew that Tziporah wasn't giving up and that her emunah in HaShem was carrying her through.
Over a year after the challah & bracha party, I told a close friend of mine, Gila, about Tziporah.
A couple of days later, Gila called me up. "Sefardi Gal, I'm going to the Lubavitch Rebbe's kever to daven. That lady that you told me about...and her husband...who can't have kids...what're their names, again?"
I was so touched that she remembered. (Hey, I only have amazing friends!)
Around Rosh Hashana time of this year, Gila told me that she always continued to pray for the couple. She even made Challah every Erev Shabbat and would pray for them while making the challah.
I called Tziporah to wish her a shana tova, but she wasn't feeling well. My friend told me that Tziporah had done some infertility treatments that left her feeling weak and ill. It seemed that the treatments were not successful, and the side effects were painful.
At a friend's wedding on October 24, 2010, Natalie, Gila, and I were dancing, and we were crazy happy. Natalie took us aside, and admist the loud music, she said "I just want you two to be the first to know...TZIPORAH IS 3 MONTHS PREGNANT!" I have never cried from happiness, but it was a close call that night. None of us could contain our joy. We all screamed and hugged and jumped with joy. So that's why she wasn't feeling well! The treatment was working!, I thought. We continued to dance and praised HaShem, and really, at that moment...it felt like HaShem stopped the world. For Tziporah.
Gila never met Tziporah yet. She had no idea what she looked or sounded like. A week or two after the wedding, Gila called me and anxiously told me about how she met Tziporah. Gila was invited to another friend's bracha & challah party. There was a lady there who was pregnant, though not very visibly pregnant. My friend Gila took one look at her and thought "that's Tziporah. It has to be. She has that aura that Sefardi Gal was telling me about."
She went up to her and asked her "excuse me, but...are you Tziporah?"
"Yes, I am."
Gila started crying and told her "you don't know me, but Natalie and Sefardi Gal are my close friends. I heard the wonderful news, and I just want you to know...even though we never met, I was davening for you. I made challah for you. And for the first time last week, I made challah and davened for both you and your baby."
At that point, Tziporah started crying too and thanked her profusely and blessed her. They embraced, and it was clearly an emotional night.
As the months passed, we continued to pray for Tziporah to have a healthy and easy pregnancy and to give birth to a healthy baby. She's due in Pesach time.
Except...
she won't be giving birth to a healthy baby during Pesach.
HaShem planned that she gave birth two weeks ago on Shabbat to not one, but TWO healthy babies. Twins. A boy and girl. And she was 2 months early, but the babies are perfectly healthy, Baruch HaShem.
Finally, after 12 years of trying, she and her husband were rewarded with two children, both genders, on the holiest day of the week. And after waiting 12 years, HaShem didn't want them to wait 9 months; He condensed the wait to 7 months.
I realize that this is a long story and it could've been told in four sentences or even less. Except, in my opinion, that would take away from the depth and emotions that were involved. It was a huge experience and lesson in emunah and bitachon for my close friends and myself.
Tziporah taught me that no matter how difficult life is, you NEVER give up your faith in HaShem. You never stop davening. Many women in her situation might've became depressed or would've just gave up. But no. Tziporah was persistent. She prayed, and she would go to (AND GIVE) shiurim and find something new to work on every day. She constantly invited guests over not only for Shabbat but also for other days of the week.
She gave others chizzuk and always wore a beautiful & cheerful smile on her face. She prayed for other barren couples who were in similar or even worse positions. She not only prayed for them, but she also forwarded and e-mailed their names to other people to pray for them. She once sent me a list of over 30 barren couples to daven for on Erev Shabbat.
She saw me recently and handed me a paper with the names of two or three couples in need of conceiving.
She allowed her adversity to be the catalyst for helping others. She didn't let her problems suppress her from reaching her potential and reaching out to help others, be it other barren couples, singles that she tried (and tries) to set up, or giving shiurim.
I also learned that the power of tefillah in GROUPS, as unified members of Klal Yisrael, has a huge impact. What better way to fulfill "love your neighbor as you love yourself" than to pray for him or her?
Just because Tziporah got pregnant, she didn't forget about all of the couples who are still trying. I think this is a crucial point to remember.
A Rabbi in my Shul once told a story about two single men who were praying for each other to find their zivugim. One of them found his zivug and got married. A few years later, his friend was still single. His friend asked him "are you still davening for me?" Embarrassed, the married friend admitted "no, I stopped after I got married."
We can't stop praying for our friends. Even if we have a long list. Even if we already found our zivug. We can't forget about the rest who still haven't found what they're looking for.
Tziporah and Gila were crying because a meeting wasn't necessary for Gila to feel Tziporah's pain. All Gila needed was her love for a fellow Jew to stimulate her tefillot.
Above all, I think I finally FELT (I only knew before) that HaShem truly does listen to our tefillot.
Similar to the caterpillar in the dark and unfriendly cocoon, one needs to go through difficulties in life to become a beautiful colorful butterfly.
May Tziporah's story serve as an example to all of us that HaShem knows what He's doing and has a great plan for all of us. He only sends us trials and tribulations that we can handle.
And that Ahavat Yisrael and Tefillah can break all harsh decrees and barriers!
Shavua Tov and Chodesh Tov u'Mevurach to all!
(note: the facts are true, but I edited names for the sake of anonymity.)
Around two years ago, a close friend of mine threw a challah & bracha party.
For those who are unaware, a challah & bracha party is basically when a bunch of people (usually of the female persuasion :)) get together and bake challot and make brachot on various foods & answer "amen" to each other's brachot.
Baking challah is a very special mitzvah, and that time is a strong "et tefillah" (time for prayer) -- so that's an especially auspicious to ask HaShem for whatever our heart desires.
The bracha part is when foods from each "bracha category" are beautifully presented and arranged on a table. The brachot are recited in the following descending order: "Mezonot" (food made from the 5 grains) => "Hagefen" (grapejuice or wine) => "Ha'etz" (fruits that grow on a tree) => "Ha'adama" (vegetables that don't grow on trees) => Shehakol (all other foods)
Some people also add "besamim" (a bracha on fragrances)
Each bracha is a "segulah" for a particular salvation:
Mezonot - Parnassah
Hagefen - Shidduchim/Marriage
Ha'etz - Children/Pri Beten
Ha'adma - Refua Shlemah
Shehakol - anything else (Mashiach, Geula, Shalom Bayit, success in school, etc.)
Besamim - Chazara b'teshuva (to do teshuva)
Before reciting the bracha, you take the food in your right hand and close your eyes and say the Hebrew names of the people who need the segulah that your particular bracha stands for. So, let's say before saying "ha'adma", you says the names of all of the ill people who needs a speedy recovery. Then, you makes the bracha with kavana and everyone else responds with a loud "AMEN!"
When one answers amen, one creates a malach. Chazal teach us that the "amen" is more important than the bracha -- therefore, one should always make brachot aloud and around people whenever possible in order for the "amen" to be recited.
Now, when there are a lot of people, there are usually 3 groups for each bracha. First, one group makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone from the other group answers amen. The second group then makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone responds amen. The 3rd group is only one person who REALLY needs that yeshua -- for ex, an older single will be the last one to say the bracha of "hagefen" - and everyone answers amen. That person is called "the closer."
While all of this is going on, the challah is baking in the oven and the special aroma is enveloping the apartment or house.
If anyone is interested in learning more about the power brachot/amen, I highly recommend reading this book.
Below are pictures that I've taken at Challah/Bracha parties that I've attended:
Now that we all understand what a challah & bracha party is, let's move on :)
So I was at that special event around 2 years ago. A close friend of mine, Natalie, was moving to Israel for a year, and she invited all of her friends over. At this party, I noticed a beautiful married lady. She stood out because she was wearing a vibrant colored headscarf that perfectly matched her modest outfit. She looked fashionable and tznua (modest) at the same time. She had a huge smile on her face the whole time and was very friendly. She looked pretty young, around 25 years old, and I figured that she probably has one or two kids and with that happy attitude, she is probably an amazing mommy.
Natalie introduced her to us. Tziporah was this special lady's name. Apparently she was a fashion designer and had a boutique full of modest clothing. In fact, my friend who was throwing the party was dressed impeccably, and turns out -- that's how Natalie met Tziporah. She was looking for an outfit for the party, went to Tziporah's boutique, and they instantly hit it off as friends, and she invited her to the challah & bracha party.
The summer night was going great. Everybody was in an uplifted and joyful mood. Because most of the gals who attended were single, a decision was made that we would first say our names and/or names of other singles we know, and we would each recite an individual brachot of "hagefen" and everyone would answer "amen!" Because there were around 35 single ladies there, that means over 35 brachot of "hagefen" were made within those few minutes.
Each time a single girl made a bracha of "hagefen", Tziporah started singing songs like "od yeshama" and clapping her hands. She had so much genuine simcha for each person, as if she was certain that each one of us would get married that year. She set the tone, and people joined in singing with her.
A couple of minutes later, it was time to make the bracha of "ha'etz." The blessing for barren couples who haven't had children (yet). Usually at the bracha parties I had previously attended, "the closer" was never a barren lady.
Usually "the closer" for "ha'etz" would be somebody who knows a barren married woman who is trying to conceive. I didn't even personally know any women who were incapable of having children.
Until someone asked Tziporah if she wants to be the closer. She smiled and nodded. This smile, however, was different. It wasn't a joyous smile like her previous one that didn't leave her face the whole night; rather, this time, it was a sad smile.
The 1st group made "ha'etz" and answered "amen." The 2nd group followed.
Finally, it was Tziporah's turn.
She stood up in the front of the crowd and tears began forming in her eyes. She closed her eyes and starting swaying. "May this bracha be for
I was stunned. Here I thought that she was 25, with at least 2 children. If she was trying to conceive for 10 years, she had to be older than 25. And she had to have experienced more suffering than I ever imagined somebody with such a bright smile could have experienced. I cringed. I wished there was something I could do. Oh, how much pain she must be in...
these thoughts followed me as I went home. It just didn't sit well with me. Her positive energy and emunah left me on a high, but at the same time, I felt uncomfortable. The same image kept replaying in my head: the expression on her face while making the bracha with those tightly shut eyes and tears pushing out.
A few days later, Natalie gave me a call. "I'm trying to organize a group of 40 women, particularly the girls from my bracha party, to say Shir Hashirim for Tziporah on Erev Shabbat. And in that zchut, Be'ezrat HaShem, Tziporah will be expecting a child soon. Are you in?"
40 girls were gathered, and she gave us Tziporah and her husband's full Hebrew names.
I jotted down their names and kept the note in my siddur. I remembered them during my daily Shemoneh Esreh,
when lighting candles Erev Shabbat, whenever I traveled to Israel and prayed by the Kotel, etc.Tziporah sent Natalie an e-mail, telling her that she is now a shadchan and asked if she has any friends who want to send their resumes. I sent my resume, she called me, and as a result, we became close friends because of our phone conversations. She set me up a few times, but even more importantly, she gave me chizzuk and divrei Torah. It was an emotional and logical support that very few shadchanim offered me in the past. She was one of the only shadchanim who made me feel like I will get married and should never worry -- just continue praying to HaShem and keep up the faith. She gave me brachot over the phone and invited me over her house for coffee and shmoozing.
Every conversation we had left me with a smile on my face. She was so warm and caring.
I didn't know how to ask her...if anything had changed. If she had a little somebody in her tummy.
I wanted to tell her how much my friends and I were davening for her. But I didn't say anything. I feared the possibility of offending her.
Natalie updated me from time to time, telling me to continue davening and not to give up. I knew that Tziporah wasn't giving up and that her emunah in HaShem was carrying her through.
Over a year after the challah & bracha party, I told a close friend of mine, Gila, about Tziporah.
A couple of days later, Gila called me up. "Sefardi Gal, I'm going to the Lubavitch Rebbe's kever to daven. That lady that you told me about...and her husband...who can't have kids...what're their names, again?"
I was so touched that she remembered. (Hey, I only have amazing friends!)
Around Rosh Hashana time of this year, Gila told me that she always continued to pray for the couple. She even made Challah every Erev Shabbat and would pray for them while making the challah.
I called Tziporah to wish her a shana tova, but she wasn't feeling well. My friend told me that Tziporah had done some infertility treatments that left her feeling weak and ill. It seemed that the treatments were not successful, and the side effects were painful.
At a friend's wedding on October 24, 2010, Natalie, Gila, and I were dancing, and we were crazy happy. Natalie took us aside, and admist the loud music, she said "I just want you two to be the first to know...TZIPORAH IS 3 MONTHS PREGNANT!" I have never cried from happiness, but it was a close call that night. None of us could contain our joy. We all screamed and hugged and jumped with joy. So that's why she wasn't feeling well! The treatment was working!, I thought. We continued to dance and praised HaShem, and really, at that moment...it felt like HaShem stopped the world. For Tziporah.
Gila never met Tziporah yet. She had no idea what she looked or sounded like. A week or two after the wedding, Gila called me and anxiously told me about how she met Tziporah. Gila was invited to another friend's bracha & challah party. There was a lady there who was pregnant, though not very visibly pregnant. My friend Gila took one look at her and thought "that's Tziporah. It has to be. She has that aura that Sefardi Gal was telling me about."
She went up to her and asked her "excuse me, but...are you Tziporah?"
"Yes, I am."
Gila started crying and told her "you don't know me, but Natalie and Sefardi Gal are my close friends. I heard the wonderful news, and I just want you to know...even though we never met, I was davening for you. I made challah for you. And for the first time last week, I made challah and davened for both you and your baby."
At that point, Tziporah started crying too and thanked her profusely and blessed her. They embraced, and it was clearly an emotional night.
As the months passed, we continued to pray for Tziporah to have a healthy and easy pregnancy and to give birth to a healthy baby. She's due in Pesach time.
Except...
she won't be giving birth to a healthy baby during Pesach.
HaShem planned that she gave birth two weeks ago on Shabbat to not one, but TWO healthy babies. Twins. A boy and girl. And she was 2 months early, but the babies are perfectly healthy, Baruch HaShem.
Finally, after 12 years of trying, she and her husband were rewarded with two children, both genders, on the holiest day of the week. And after waiting 12 years, HaShem didn't want them to wait 9 months; He condensed the wait to 7 months.
I realize that this is a long story and it could've been told in four sentences or even less. Except, in my opinion, that would take away from the depth and emotions that were involved. It was a huge experience and lesson in emunah and bitachon for my close friends and myself.
Tziporah taught me that no matter how difficult life is, you NEVER give up your faith in HaShem. You never stop davening. Many women in her situation might've became depressed or would've just gave up. But no. Tziporah was persistent. She prayed, and she would go to (AND GIVE) shiurim and find something new to work on every day. She constantly invited guests over not only for Shabbat but also for other days of the week.
She gave others chizzuk and always wore a beautiful & cheerful smile on her face. She prayed for other barren couples who were in similar or even worse positions. She not only prayed for them, but she also forwarded and e-mailed their names to other people to pray for them. She once sent me a list of over 30 barren couples to daven for on Erev Shabbat.
She saw me recently and handed me a paper with the names of two or three couples in need of conceiving.
She allowed her adversity to be the catalyst for helping others. She didn't let her problems suppress her from reaching her potential and reaching out to help others, be it other barren couples, singles that she tried (and tries) to set up, or giving shiurim.
I also learned that the power of tefillah in GROUPS, as unified members of Klal Yisrael, has a huge impact. What better way to fulfill "love your neighbor as you love yourself" than to pray for him or her?
Just because Tziporah got pregnant, she didn't forget about all of the couples who are still trying. I think this is a crucial point to remember.
A Rabbi in my Shul once told a story about two single men who were praying for each other to find their zivugim. One of them found his zivug and got married. A few years later, his friend was still single. His friend asked him "are you still davening for me?" Embarrassed, the married friend admitted "no, I stopped after I got married."
We can't stop praying for our friends. Even if we have a long list. Even if we already found our zivug. We can't forget about the rest who still haven't found what they're looking for.
Tziporah and Gila were crying because a meeting wasn't necessary for Gila to feel Tziporah's pain. All Gila needed was her love for a fellow Jew to stimulate her tefillot.
Above all, I think I finally FELT (I only knew before) that HaShem truly does listen to our tefillot.
Similar to the caterpillar in the dark and unfriendly cocoon, one needs to go through difficulties in life to become a beautiful colorful butterfly. May Tziporah's story serve as an example to all of us that HaShem knows what He's doing and has a great plan for all of us. He only sends us trials and tribulations that we can handle.
And that Ahavat Yisrael and Tefillah can break all harsh decrees and barriers!
Shavua Tov and Chodesh Tov u'Mevurach to all!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
1 More Cry
I was listening to a shiur about emunah, by one of my favorite speakers, Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser. In the shiur, he shared an incredible story about a man whom he knows personally. The man was married for 20 years and couldn't have children. 20 years! We should never know of such pain -- month after month, year after year, for 20 whole years waiting to have just one child.
This man prayed every single day in shemoneh esreh. He begged HaShem for a child. Please HaShem.
Please.
My child will grow up in the ways of Torah and mitzvot.
My child will be a tzadik (or tzadika)
I will love my child.
I will try and be the best parent.
Please HaShem! Have mercy. Have pity. Give me a child. Please. I'm begging of You. A zera chaya v'kayama.
Every day, he continued these sincere tefillot.
Until one day, on the 20th year of him and his wife being barren without any children -- he came to a resolution: enough tefillot. "I am no longer going to pray for a child. I've done enough. How many tefillot did I pray already?? How many thousands of shemoneh esrehs did I pray asking, begging, pleading? 20 years is enough. Apparently it is not destined that I should have a child, so I'm going to stop asking."
And so, he began shemoneh esreh, determined not to "give in" and ask HaShem for a child. He got up to "Shemah Kolenu" -- still set on not praying for children. It was quiet in the Shul. As he was in the middle of the "Shemah Koleinu" section, he heard the cry of a baby.
"What on earth? Am I hearing things? It's 6 AM, on a week day, and I'm in Shul! There's no baby here!"
As he was brushing off this notion, figuring that it was just his imagination, he heard a cry again.
And then he broke down in tears. How much he wants to hear a baby's cry in his own home! He cried and couldn't stop sobbing; he begged HaShem, with more fervor than ever in the past 20 years, for a child.
When he got home, he told his wife what happened at Shul. She began to cry and said it's a sign from HaShem -- they shouldn't stop praying!
Exactly 10 months later, she had a healthy baby!
You may be wondering -- so was there really a baby? Was it just his imagination?
The man later found out the truth:
there was a real baby in the Shul. A man brought his baby son to Shul because the baby didn't sleep all night long, and his wife was exhausted. She barely got any sleep and had a very difficult night. Finally, the baby fell asleep in the morning, and the husband wanted to ease his wife's stress and allow her to sleep peacefully - so he took the baby to Shul, figuring that since he was asleep, he wouldn't disturb anyone. The whole time, the baby was quiet, EXCEPT for those two moments during Shema Kolenu.
This man did a chessed for his wife, and in turn, he did a chessed for this barren couple.
Look at how much HaShem loves us - He cares about each one of us so much that he sends us individual wake up calls. He never gives up on us. Even if we feel that our tefillot aren't being answered, we must continue praying. It's never valid to STOP praying simply because you give up.
Why must we continue praying? Because our prayers are being answered - with a yes, no, or a maybe. Maybe now. Maybe later. It's similar to filling up a bottle of water - drop after drop.
Today's tefillah can be that last drop to finally fill up the bottle!
This man prayed every single day in shemoneh esreh. He begged HaShem for a child. Please HaShem.
Please.
My child will grow up in the ways of Torah and mitzvot.
My child will be a tzadik (or tzadika)
I will love my child.
I will try and be the best parent.
Please HaShem! Have mercy. Have pity. Give me a child. Please. I'm begging of You. A zera chaya v'kayama.
Every day, he continued these sincere tefillot.
Until one day, on the 20th year of him and his wife being barren without any children -- he came to a resolution: enough tefillot. "I am no longer going to pray for a child. I've done enough. How many tefillot did I pray already?? How many thousands of shemoneh esrehs did I pray asking, begging, pleading? 20 years is enough. Apparently it is not destined that I should have a child, so I'm going to stop asking."
And so, he began shemoneh esreh, determined not to "give in" and ask HaShem for a child. He got up to "Shemah Kolenu" -- still set on not praying for children. It was quiet in the Shul. As he was in the middle of the "Shemah Koleinu" section, he heard the cry of a baby.
"What on earth? Am I hearing things? It's 6 AM, on a week day, and I'm in Shul! There's no baby here!"
As he was brushing off this notion, figuring that it was just his imagination, he heard a cry again.
And then he broke down in tears. How much he wants to hear a baby's cry in his own home! He cried and couldn't stop sobbing; he begged HaShem, with more fervor than ever in the past 20 years, for a child.
When he got home, he told his wife what happened at Shul. She began to cry and said it's a sign from HaShem -- they shouldn't stop praying!
Exactly 10 months later, she had a healthy baby!
You may be wondering -- so was there really a baby? Was it just his imagination?
The man later found out the truth:
there was a real baby in the Shul. A man brought his baby son to Shul because the baby didn't sleep all night long, and his wife was exhausted. She barely got any sleep and had a very difficult night. Finally, the baby fell asleep in the morning, and the husband wanted to ease his wife's stress and allow her to sleep peacefully - so he took the baby to Shul, figuring that since he was asleep, he wouldn't disturb anyone. The whole time, the baby was quiet, EXCEPT for those two moments during Shema Kolenu.
This man did a chessed for his wife, and in turn, he did a chessed for this barren couple.
Look at how much HaShem loves us - He cares about each one of us so much that he sends us individual wake up calls. He never gives up on us. Even if we feel that our tefillot aren't being answered, we must continue praying. It's never valid to STOP praying simply because you give up.
Why must we continue praying? Because our prayers are being answered - with a yes, no, or a maybe. Maybe now. Maybe later. It's similar to filling up a bottle of water - drop after drop.
Today's tefillah can be that last drop to finally fill up the bottle!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Are You a Beeper or a Pusher?
Rabbi Fischel Shachter related a touching story. His car got stuck in the middle of a hill in boro park on a Friday afternoon. Cars were honking and beeping at him, and a truck behind him stopped. The driver was a chassidish man, and he asked Rabbi Shachter what the problem is. When he found out that the Rabbi Shachter's brakes stopped, he turned around and said to the drivers: "what are you all waiting for? Get out and push!" And around a dozen men got out and pushed his car all the way to the mechanic.
Rabbi Shachter shared a profound thought that occurred to him at that moment. After 120, when you go up to Shamayim, you will be asked what kind of person you were in this world.
There are two categories: those who honk & beep and those who get out & push.
In other words: are you a person who gets angry, depressed, and frustrated when you deal with adversity, or do you try to make a difference and actively make the best out of your situation?
If someone upsets or offends you, do you get mad at them and lash out at them? Or do you try to give them the benefit of the doubt, do your best to forgive them, and pray for them to have opportunities to do teshuva and grow closer to HaShem?
If you hear that someone is sick, do you just say "aw man, that's too bad" or "that's terrible! Why him?!" or "wow, he needs as many teflliot as he can get! I'm going to say a perek of Tehillim for him." And if you can't say a perek of Tehillim - how about a heartfelt tefillah in your own words? "HaShem, I just heard that my fellow Jew, ploni ben ploni, is ill. How much pain he must be in...
please, G-d, Master of the Universe, send him a speedy and full recovery. Please help him feel better."
There are people who scream. And then there are those who push.
The one who mainly beeps (screams) is just reacting a lot and giving in to his impulses, but l'maaseh, he doesn't DO anything to change his situation for the better. If anything, his negative reaction just make his situation worse and even more disasterous! At that point, he gives into despair. He's pessimistic, he's helpless.
The one who pushes, however, proactively hopes for the better. He has emunah, he prays, he's optimistic, and he fights through the situation, building his character and improving his situation! He knows that everything is for the best and that he can make a change. Nothing is out of the reach of his potential!
You have to keep going in life to get anywhere! Trust in HaShem; He runs the world. He is the best friend you can ever have. He's never too busy for you; He's always there for you...24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He's understanding, merciful, forgiving, kind, giving, and All Mighty. He knows your each and every fiber, thought, and emotion. Your financial situation, your health, your family, your maritial status, your grades at school -- He completely knows your situation; there are no secrets with Him. Nothing is impossible for Him. He loves you more than you can even fathom.
As David Hamelech writes in Tehillim: "G-d is close to all who call upon Him."
Shavua tov :)
Rabbi Shachter shared a profound thought that occurred to him at that moment. After 120, when you go up to Shamayim, you will be asked what kind of person you were in this world.
There are two categories: those who honk & beep and those who get out & push.
In other words: are you a person who gets angry, depressed, and frustrated when you deal with adversity, or do you try to make a difference and actively make the best out of your situation?
If someone upsets or offends you, do you get mad at them and lash out at them? Or do you try to give them the benefit of the doubt, do your best to forgive them, and pray for them to have opportunities to do teshuva and grow closer to HaShem?
If you hear that someone is sick, do you just say "aw man, that's too bad" or "that's terrible! Why him?!" or "wow, he needs as many teflliot as he can get! I'm going to say a perek of Tehillim for him." And if you can't say a perek of Tehillim - how about a heartfelt tefillah in your own words? "HaShem, I just heard that my fellow Jew, ploni ben ploni, is ill. How much pain he must be in...
please, G-d, Master of the Universe, send him a speedy and full recovery. Please help him feel better."
There are people who scream. And then there are those who push.
The one who mainly beeps (screams) is just reacting a lot and giving in to his impulses, but l'maaseh, he doesn't DO anything to change his situation for the better. If anything, his negative reaction just make his situation worse and even more disasterous! At that point, he gives into despair. He's pessimistic, he's helpless.
The one who pushes, however, proactively hopes for the better. He has emunah, he prays, he's optimistic, and he fights through the situation, building his character and improving his situation! He knows that everything is for the best and that he can make a change. Nothing is out of the reach of his potential!
You have to keep going in life to get anywhere! Trust in HaShem; He runs the world. He is the best friend you can ever have. He's never too busy for you; He's always there for you...24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He's understanding, merciful, forgiving, kind, giving, and All Mighty. He knows your each and every fiber, thought, and emotion. Your financial situation, your health, your family, your maritial status, your grades at school -- He completely knows your situation; there are no secrets with Him. Nothing is impossible for Him. He loves you more than you can even fathom.
As David Hamelech writes in Tehillim: "G-d is close to all who call upon Him."
Shavua tov :)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Whole World is A Very Narrow Bridge...and the main thing to recall is to have no fear at all
Sometimes I think about my life as an old, bitter lady with a few cats, living all alone. Never married. No children. It's a scary thought...
a lot of people (myself included) brush it off with "chas v'shalom" but sometimes, my yetzer hara nudges me: "what if?"
What if it would actually happen?
The answer, my friends, is that all it takes is ONE moment. One day. HaShem can turn your whole life around. It's that one phone call that can happen any fateful day. That day that you're just cleaning your room, and a shadchan or friend calls and tells you that (s)he has someone for you. That day that you're studying for an exam or driving back from work. It can be any moment, any second. It can be today, or tomorrow, or the next day. It can be next week, this month, next month, next year, or in a few years.
It's possible that today is lonely. Today you had a bad experience. Today you feel miserable. But that can all change in a split second. These experiences build us up as people to be stronger and have more clarity. And as a result, we'll appreciate the good when it comes our way -- we'll appreciate it in a manner that we never would have if we hadn't experienced the "negative" moments.
We just can't give up our faith or our tefillot. Because it could be your tefillah TODAY that will change tomorrow, which will, in turn, change the rest of your life. It's davka the moments that we are MOST upset or disheartened that should drive us to daven because as the pasuk in Tehillim says "G-d is close to the broken-hearted and saves those with a crushed spirit" (Tehillim 34:19).
I have a very close friend who went out with a terrific guy, who would've done anything for her. He was your typical "prince charming" in many ways and cared about her deeply. However, for various reasons, she called it off. Right when they were soon to be engaged. The bachur kept trying to reignite their relationship, but his efforts were futile. In the back of her mind, my friend knew that he'd always be there -- in case she didn't meet anyone else, he'd always be waiting for her. She continued dating and had heart-breaking and disappointing experiences.
A couple of months later, "prince charming" got engaged. She was depressed and cried for days because she thought she missed her opportunity. She missed her zivug. She let him go - just like that, and now she'll never find anyone better. She kept dating, and really, she didn't meet anyone who even slightly measured up to him.
Frustrated yet realistic, she decided that she was tired of dating, and she came to the conclusion that she needs to take a break. She felt like she's enjoying the single life and college, and mayyybe in two years, she'll want to get married. She didn't want to be "tied" down...she liked living at home with few responsibilities. She liked not having to worry about parnassah or covering her hair. Nevertheless, she kept praying to HaShem to send her her zivug.
Right after she came to the conclusion that she's taking a long break, on an "ordinary" day...one of her mother's friends met a new customer, who was very friendly and told her that he's trying to marry off his son. She called up my friend's mother, told her about the family and the guy, the guy called my friend, and voila. The rest is history. They're building their home together now.
When I asked her if he measures up to her ex-"prince charming" - she responded: "No...he doesn't measure up. He (her fiance) is even better than I could ever imagine." And smiled.
I received tremendous chizzuk from this friend.
Moral of the story (what I learned, anyway): we might think we're ready, but HaShem knows better. We might think we're not ready, but HaShem knows better. Regardless of our conclusions, we must never submit to our yetzer hara and stop praying or think that our zivug isn't out there. If someone we once thought is our zivug is now married -- then (s)he wasn't our zivug! Someone who's even better for you is out there. As my Mother tells me: "every pot has a lid" -- your lid is out there, and HaShem knows exactly where that person is! Don't give up. Don't throw in the towel just yet, because your life can get better than you've ever imagined and dreamed. :)
a lot of people (myself included) brush it off with "chas v'shalom" but sometimes, my yetzer hara nudges me: "what if?"
What if it would actually happen?
The answer, my friends, is that all it takes is ONE moment. One day. HaShem can turn your whole life around. It's that one phone call that can happen any fateful day. That day that you're just cleaning your room, and a shadchan or friend calls and tells you that (s)he has someone for you. That day that you're studying for an exam or driving back from work. It can be any moment, any second. It can be today, or tomorrow, or the next day. It can be next week, this month, next month, next year, or in a few years.
It's possible that today is lonely. Today you had a bad experience. Today you feel miserable. But that can all change in a split second. These experiences build us up as people to be stronger and have more clarity. And as a result, we'll appreciate the good when it comes our way -- we'll appreciate it in a manner that we never would have if we hadn't experienced the "negative" moments.
We just can't give up our faith or our tefillot. Because it could be your tefillah TODAY that will change tomorrow, which will, in turn, change the rest of your life. It's davka the moments that we are MOST upset or disheartened that should drive us to daven because as the pasuk in Tehillim says "G-d is close to the broken-hearted and saves those with a crushed spirit" (Tehillim 34:19).
I have a very close friend who went out with a terrific guy, who would've done anything for her. He was your typical "prince charming" in many ways and cared about her deeply. However, for various reasons, she called it off. Right when they were soon to be engaged. The bachur kept trying to reignite their relationship, but his efforts were futile. In the back of her mind, my friend knew that he'd always be there -- in case she didn't meet anyone else, he'd always be waiting for her. She continued dating and had heart-breaking and disappointing experiences.
A couple of months later, "prince charming" got engaged. She was depressed and cried for days because she thought she missed her opportunity. She missed her zivug. She let him go - just like that, and now she'll never find anyone better. She kept dating, and really, she didn't meet anyone who even slightly measured up to him.
Frustrated yet realistic, she decided that she was tired of dating, and she came to the conclusion that she needs to take a break. She felt like she's enjoying the single life and college, and mayyybe in two years, she'll want to get married. She didn't want to be "tied" down...she liked living at home with few responsibilities. She liked not having to worry about parnassah or covering her hair. Nevertheless, she kept praying to HaShem to send her her zivug.
Right after she came to the conclusion that she's taking a long break, on an "ordinary" day...one of her mother's friends met a new customer, who was very friendly and told her that he's trying to marry off his son. She called up my friend's mother, told her about the family and the guy, the guy called my friend, and voila. The rest is history. They're building their home together now.
When I asked her if he measures up to her ex-"prince charming" - she responded: "No...he doesn't measure up. He (her fiance) is even better than I could ever imagine." And smiled.
I received tremendous chizzuk from this friend.
Moral of the story (what I learned, anyway): we might think we're ready, but HaShem knows better. We might think we're not ready, but HaShem knows better. Regardless of our conclusions, we must never submit to our yetzer hara and stop praying or think that our zivug isn't out there. If someone we once thought is our zivug is now married -- then (s)he wasn't our zivug! Someone who's even better for you is out there. As my Mother tells me: "every pot has a lid" -- your lid is out there, and HaShem knows exactly where that person is! Don't give up. Don't throw in the towel just yet, because your life can get better than you've ever imagined and dreamed. :)
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