King & Father, There is No Other.

I know it seems that I'm not here, but I am. Just been very busy with life. Thank G-d. It's good to be busy.

I feel like I have an ongoing blog in my head 24/7. Like, Sefardi Gal's thoughts and comments. I can't seem to ever press the pause or "shhhh" button.
I so often want to (actually) blog and then I get lazy or tired or remember that I have laundry to do :)
Or that I need to make some awesome baked ziti for dinner (yeah, it came out really good tonight!) & whole wheat oatmeal low sugar chocolate cookies (not as good. Why do the fattening cookies always taste better?!)

All of those are not valid excuses, but oh well. Patience is a virtue.

I received this awesome e-mail from Aish.com's "Shabbat Shalom Weekly" emails. I thought to post it since it served as great chizuk for me:

5 Steps to Genuine Prayer:
1) Feel God's presence. You are talking to a loving, all-powerful Being Who wants to give you everything that's good. All over the world God is answering prayers because He loves His children.
2) Expect results. God has a track record. If you don't really believe God can and will help you, you're not really praying.
3) Pay attention to what God is teaching you. Everything that happens is for your good. If you are in need, realize God is teaching you something. If you trust Him, you will hear what He is telling you.
4) Get in touch with what you're really after. Know your bottom line. You're talking to the awesome Creator, so don't ask for nonsense. He wants you to grow up.
5) Being serious about what you're praying for means that you're doing everything you can to make it happen. God will lend a hand only when you put in the effort. He'll never take away your independence because that's His ultimate gift to you.

Juggling the Extremes

Or am I?

Well, yes, I've moved to this new land.
It's sort of near Shamayim.
Have you heard of it?
I'll give you a hint: it starts with the word "Eretz" :)

Oh, and, I have a mini special somebody around whom I carried for 9 months (well, 39 weeks and a few days, actually, but who's counting?).

Baruch HaShem!
So, yes, I've been busy.
But why am I making excuses, anyway? I never committed to a blog.

But still. This blog holds a special place in my heart. It was an island for both my vents and my chizzuk.

To all the readers who have sent me emails: please don't think that I was ignoring you.
I seriously only checked the emails a few days ago. For the first time. I'm not joking.

Anywho, it was Purim a few weeks ago.
Purim has a lot of gadlut to it...it's such a shame so many people miss out the spiritual opportunity and instead solely indulge in physical opportunities (ie: drunk men.)
Speaking of drunk men...
when I was 19, after witnessing one too many religious guys get drunk on Purim, I decided that if my husband would ever get drunk on Purim, I would change the locks to our front door and let him sleep outside.
It was only fair to warn my innocent husband-to-be while we were engaged that I can be cruel if my husband decides to join the drunk frummy bandwagen.
So Baruch HaShem my husband is not one of those idiotic drunk men on Purim (or ever) :)
May HaShem help those men, and may He help me not get so mad at them every year.

Oftentimes, spiritual opportunities can completely pass us by. Why's that? Because whenever there's potential for great purity and holiness, there's also potential for great tuma.

A perfect example of this is:

A perfect example of this is motzei Shabbat. Motzei Shabbat is the time when the holy Shabbat is over, but the queen is still in the vacinity. Our neshama yetera leaves us, and we're left with a feeling of loneliness. Suddenly, we feel the need to do something fulfilling.
Ever wonder why there's such a temptation to "go out" and "have fun" on motzei Shabbat? Yep, that's why. And sadly, many Jews in the world think that going to a movie, club, party, etc. motzei Shabbat will help them fill the lonely spot.
But no.
Since we lost something spiritual, we can only fix the feeling of emptiness with something spiritual. So we have a melaveh malka meal filled with divrei Torah, songs, music, and connection to HaShem.
But this takes a lot of effort! Especially because there's such a strong yetzer hara to ignore the spiritual void and to focus on the physiciality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Saturday night is the most avera-filled evening of the week.

Wherever there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma. Interestingly enough, it doesn't work the other way. If there's a place filled with tuma - you're most likely not going to find great kedusha there.

We also see this in our parashat hashavua (2 weeks ago) with the incident of chet haegel. How could Bnei Yisrael commit just a horrendous avera? They just witnessed Har Sinai and heard HaShem speak to them! I mean, what's more holy and life-changing than that?!
It's a question that all the mefarshim deal with, and many different answers are given. The main one being that it was mainly the erev rav - 1% of the nation who committed the sin.
But still. How could the 1% commit such a grave sin?
The answer is: where there's potential for great kedusha, there's also potential for great tuma.
They could've waited for Moshe while learning together, davening, staying on the high and embracing the holiness that just came upon them. But that's not what happened.

A wise person never thinks he's ONLY immersed in kedusha. Don't be fooled. Be wise and always look out and be aware of the tuma. Never think that you're untouchable, and that the yetzer hara can't fool you. (But also don't think that you're doomed! Afterall, chazal (kiddushin 30b) teach us that HaShem said "barati yetzer hara, barati lo Torah tavlin" (I created the yetzer hara, but I also created the Torah as the antidote for it.)

Once you know what you're competing against, you can use the tools and strength from the yetzer hatov to win the battle and live in the life of holiness.

Mannnnn I just want to LIVEEEEE IN THE HHHHHHOLINESSSSSSSS!


Hatzlacha Rabba to all of my readers. I'll try to respond to all of the emails soon.

(Special shout out to one of my dear readers & former Garden of Emuna chavruta: your email was accidentally deleted, but I would really love to respond to it. Please e-mail me again soon!)

I hope to post soon. But I can't promise :)

Love,
Sefardi Gal

Take a second look

I looked in the mirror.

Here I am.

A young married woman. Wearing a headscarf. Wearing a long sleeved shirt, long skirt, and socks, in the hot summer-like weather.

What do I do? I learn. I daven. I work. I do laundry. I cook. I clean.

I pictured myself...for just a split second...
not on this path. Scary thought.

Who would I be? How would I act? What would I look like?

What are most 20-something year old not-yet-religious or not Jewish gals, my age, doing at this point in life?
Learning: college. Masters. PHD. Pursuing a career.
Partying at night and wearing the latest fashions.
Food is take out or instant soup or cereal.
Laundry? HA! I have no clue how to do laundry. It gets sent out once a month or her mom just does it.
Marriage isn’t really on their mind. Having kids and raising a family definitely isn’t on the list until age 30. At least!
I know. Some of you are thinking about the exceptions to the rule – hey how about this girl I know? She’s not frum, but she’s 25 and wants to get married now.
Sorry. She’s the exception. It’s simply not the norm.
Who’s the typical young woman in secular society? Beautiful, fit, fashionable, goes to the gym, educated with at least two degrees, parties but doesn’t bring her party girl spirit to the work place, open to all experiences, all viewpoints, all people, has a liberal attitude towards life, tech-savvy, sends 200 text messages a day, and of course, has an up-to-date facebook account.

As I gazed more intently into the mirror – I found myself being so grateful to HaShem. Thank YOU HaShem for saving me…I could’ve been so lost. I grew up in that world, in that type of school, social setting, family, etc. where I could be the same age right now, but on a completely different and wrong direction in life. I could be dressing immodestly, posting my pictures on facebook – just to show everyone that I was “out”, having 1000 male friends and very few, if any, real female friends, and being completely lost and trying to fill that emptiness by partying, clubbing, drinking, doing drugs, watching movies, being tech-obsessed,  reading all of the latest magazines and spending a fortune on all of the latest trends, etc.
But no. That’s not my life.  Thank G-d.

All these thoughts passed through my head within seconds.

Later, I shared these thoughts with my husband and said “living that life is simply a completely different reality.”

I said that knowing that's probably what many women would think about me, as well. The "religious reality" vs. actual reality.

But who really has the REAL reality?

He then shared something that made a strong impression on me:
“Sefardi Gal, HaShem gives every individual in this world a certain amount of energy and time. Everyone is going to get tired somehow. At the end of the day, everyone has 24 hours a day. We choose how to spend it.”
That means…
Everyone has to go to work. Everyone has to get dressed. Everyone has to eat, speak, function, etc.
But HOW each individual does these seemingly mundane acts makes the difference between holiness and haughtiness. Clarity and confusion. Fulfilment and emptiness.
So, yes, everyone needs clothing. I need clothes. But what kind of clothes do I wear? Are they modest? Do I wear them just because everyone else does, or because this is truly the way I believe and know that a person is supposed to dress.
Yes, I need to speak and communicate. But what kind of words do I use? Do I speak with a harsh tone, do I go around gossiping, speaking lashon hara, cursing, insulting others, etc.? Or do I speak pleasantly, kindly, honestly, positively?

I’m not sure if I’m conveying the point well enough. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

We are allotted so many gifts in this world. We choose whether to properly use them, abuse them, or not use them at all.
A Jew should always strive to use his gifts as much as possible. To use every emotion, every body part, every status, every part of himself to serve HaShem in the best way possible. To elevate everything and everyone around him. To make mundane acts become wondrous, holy acts that lead him to be closer to HaShem yitbarach.

May we take this outlook and apply it during this incredible new year of 5773. A belated Shana Tova to all!

I will try to update this blog more often, but I must say bli neder because…well…
I’ll be busy doing laundry and cooking aka striving to upgrade the mundane to holiness :D
Shabbat Shalom!

Blast from the Past

I miss blogging. I truly do.

But I've been lazy. Super lazy.

You see, Sefardi Gal became Morah Sefardi Gal. Being a Morah truly has been rewarding and enjoyable but also tiring and frustrating. A teacher needs a lot of Siyata D'Shamaya to teach well and have enough patience for each individual student. I can't say I've been perfect at it, but it has been a good journey so far.

And alas...summer vacation has begun. Now we have a lot of packing to do :)

Bli neder, Im Yirtzeh HaShem, Be'ezrat HaShem, with G-d's help...I will start posting Divrei Torah at least once a week. HaShem knows I need the Chizzuk!

Wishing all of you a shavua tov and countless brachot!

Nachos

Finals week is always interesting slash depressing.

It's always finals week when...

-pringles and sour sticks are my nutritious dinner
-I wake up with raccoon-like eyes
-the sound of the printer is music to my ears
-shidduch offers begin to roll in. Weird ones, but I guess that's nothing new
-all the fun stuff is going on; weddings, bridal showers, sales @ favorite stores, etc. CAN'T Y'ALL WAIT UNTIL I'M FREE???

So yeah.

Just need to take a deep breath and remember that these are JUST tests. So, okay, my GPA is dependent on them.

BARUCH HASHEM FOR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFEEEEEEE! :)

Say Cheeeeese

When you smile, the whole world smiles back at you.

It's true.

And even if you don't think so, at least you'll be smiling back at yourself.

Your attitude is what determines your mood. Nothing else. And nobody else.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...[a Synagogue]...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes."
-Charles Swindoll

Stop Waiting! :)

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain!"

Holding Back

That's what I've been doing. You see, I have tons of posts just BEGGING me to click the "publish post" orange box thingy.
But...I can't. I'm not sure my editor would approve.

Yet, the thought still lingers. To post or not to post, that is the question.

What I've Learned About "Snow Days"

In no particular order:

1. You might expect to be super productive (clean your room, finish studying, write essays, exercise, etc.) but it's possible you'll neglect all of those goals and instead find yourself surfing the net, talking on the phone, basking in pjamas, etc.
2. Snow Days were way more exciting when you were 10 years old.
3. It's difficult to find somebody who wants to build a snowman with you! Or have snowball fights :(
4. I'm expected to clean the snow. Never mind the fact that I have no idea how to shovel normally, don't own any pair of boots that I want to ruin, and that I'm A WOMAN. When it comes to snow-relating matters, I definitely prefer to live in a male-chauvinistic society.
Apparently, the teenage snow-cleaning boys don't want to make $20 anymore. None of them rang the doorbell. (If anyone knows one who's willing, I'll pay $100-200...)
5. Animal foorprints in the snow really freak me out.
6. People like to bake and cook during snow days. One friend baked danishes, another made blueberry muffins, another made oatmeal cookies and banana cake, and I made... (drumroll please!)
hot chocolate souffle with ice cream on the side.
7. Diets don't apply during snow days.
8. Okay, FINE. You caught me. I didn't really make hot chocolate souffle -- I attempted to make a brownie cake, but because it was dairy and my oven is meat, I quazillioned-triple-abillion-double wrapped it. As a result, most of the cake baked normally, except for the middle -- which resembled chocolate pudding because it didn't quite solidify. The cake (and "pudding") was still hot, so therefore, it kinda qualifies as hot chocolate souffle.
9. Some people actually have the guts to drive in the snow, while my car will probably still be buried until the snow decides to melt.
10. Snow days might be a test from HaShem -- to appreciate His wonders of "nature" and use our free time for shiurim, learning, and chessed opportunities (as Conversations in Klal wisely mentioned -- checking on our ill or elderly neighbors and seeing if they need any help with shoveling or perhaps buying them groceries/food.)
11. This made me laugh:

ICE CREAM

Some of my readers might've notice that I've cut off a significant chunk of my blog (if I recall correctly, around 50 posts) over the past few weeks.
Why have I done so?
Well, by now, y'all should know that I'm a bit crazed. That's nothing new.
But there are other reasons.

So, what is the focus of this blog now?
Divrei Torah? Halachot? Emunah? Spirituality? Tefillah? Rants? Israel? Goals? Dating/marriage? Politics? Random shtuyot? Sefardi culture?

Truth is that the focus is currently none and all of the above. The answer is merely summed up with one word: thoughts.
Are they mine? Usually.
Do I occasionally posess an alter-ego? Perhaps.
Does my blog define me? Not entirely.
Do I plan on updating regularly? Maybe.

So, what's the purpose of this blog? Honestly, I'm not sure.

It's a journey. Stick around if you wish. :)

Don't Stop Till You Drop

So, I had a wonderful Shabbat. Truly incredible.
I put all of schoolwork aside and just focused on enjoying the goodness. Ahhh.

Naturally, I was thinking. Just about how I'm sooo not where I want to be at this point in my life. How I have so much growth and so many goals that I want to achieve. I really need to quit procastinating and start prioritizing. But...PROBLEM: they seem so...unreachable. Impractical. I mean, it's almost impossible to jump from point A to point Z.
Suddenly, I had an idea that came into my mind. A revelation!
I decided that first, I need to make a list of all of my goals. And then slowly, and practically, apply them into my life weekly. You know, "baby-steps."
I'll buy an erasable marker-board and at the beginning of every week, I'll set:
1. Religious goals
2. Educational/school/work goals
3. Exercise/diet goals

and IF I fulfill them all, I get some kind of reward. It can be a CD (yes, I still buy those. Yay for mostlymusic.com!), a new book, a new pair of shoes, manicure, cool glowy pens, etc.

What's the status on the list, so far?

So far, I've been procastinating and didn't buy the eraser board yet. But the goals, as usual, are stored mentally right now.

I hope that doesn't kill the determination :D