The following story gave me the chills. (By the way, I don't often get 'the chills')
The power of the neshama is AMAZING!
(This is an aish article)
After the concluding prayer, Dan quickly walked to the front of the shul in Jerusalem, said "Good Shabbos" to the rabbi and a few other people he knew, and at once made his way toward the back. Time to get home and make Kiddush for the family.
On his way out, a sudden impulse struck him and he turned around to watch the people filing out. His eyes slowly scanned the shul. Was there anyone who needed a place to eat? "Who's that sitting toward the side wall? I know almost everyone here, and I don't believe he's been here before."
Dan approached the young man, scanning him with an experienced eye. Dungarees, backpack, dark skin, curly black hair -- looks Sephardi, maybe Moroccan.
A moment more for consideration, and he was moving toward the boy with his hand extended in welcome. "Good Shabbos. My name is Dan Eisenblatt. Would you like to eat at my house tonight?"
The young man's face broke in an instant from a worried look to a toothy smile. "Yeah, thanks. My name is Machi." The young man picked up his backpack, and together they walked out of the shul.
MY FAVORITE SONG
A few minutes later they were all standing around Dan's Shabbos table. As soon as the family started singing Shalom Aleichem, Dan noticed that his guest wasn't singing along. "Maybe he's shy, or can't sing," he surmised. The guest gave another one of his toothy smiles and followed along, limping badly but obviously trying his best.
Even after the meal began and the guest had relaxed somewhat, he still seemed a bit fidgety and was mostly silent. Dan picked up the signal and kept the conversation general, and centered his remarks on the weekly Torah portion, mixed with small talk about current events.
Is there a song you want to sing? I can help if you're not sure about the tune.After the fish, Dan noticed his guest leafing through his songbook, apparently looking for something. He asked with a smile, "Is there a song you want to sing? I can help if you're not sure about the tune."
The guest's face lit up, a startling change. "There is a song I'd like to sing, but I can't find it here. I really liked what we sang in the synagogue tonight. What was it called? Something ‘dodi.'"
Dan paused for a moment, on the verge of saying, "It's not usually sung at the table," but then he caught himself. "If that's what the kid wants," he thought, "what's the harm?" Aloud he said, "You mean Lecha Dodi. Wait, let me get you a siddur."
Once they had sung Lecha Dodi, the young man resumed his silence until after the soup, when Dan asked him, "Which song now?"
The guest looked embarrassed, but after a bit of encouragement said firmly, "I'd really like to sing Lecha Dodi again."
Dan was not really all that surprised when, after the chicken, he asked his guest what song now, and the young man said, "Lecha Dodi, please." Dan almost blurted out, "Let's sing it a little softer this time, the neighbors are going to think I'm nuts," but thought better of it.
Finally it got to be too much for Dan. "Don't you want to sing something else?" he suggested gently.
His guest blushed and looked down. "I just really like that one," he mumbled. "Just something about it -- I really like it." In all, they must have sung "The Song" eight or nine times. Dan wasn't sure -- he lost count.
MACHMUD IBN-ESH-SHARIF
Later, when they had a quiet time to talk, Dan said, "I was just wondering, we haven't had more than a few moments to chat. Where are you from?"
The boy looked pained, then stared down at the floor and said softly, "Ramallah."
Dan's heart skipped a beat. He was sure he'd heard the boy say "Ramallah," a large Arab city on the West Bank. Quickly he caught himself, and then realized that he must have said Ramleh, an Israeli city. Dan said, "Oh, I have a cousin there. Do you know Ephraim Warner? He lives on Herzl Street."
The young man shook his head sadly. "There are no Jews in Ramallah."The young man shook his head sadly. "There are no Jews in Ramallah."
Dan gasped. He really had said "Ramallah"! His thoughts were racing. Did he just spend Shabbos with an Arab? Wait a minute! Take a deep breath and let's get this straightened out. Giving his head a quick shake he told the boy, "I'm sorry, I'm a bit confused. And now that I think of it, I haven't even asked your full name. What is it, please?"
The boy looked terrified for a moment, then squared his shoulders and said quietly, "Machmud Ibn-esh-Sharif."
Machmud was looking even more terrified now; obviously he could tell what Dan was thinking. Hurriedly he said, "Wait! I'm Jewish. I'm just trying to find out where I belong."
Dan stood there speechless. What could he say?
Machmud broke the silence hesitantly: "I was born and grew up in Ramallah. I was taught to hate my Jewish oppressors, and to think that killing them was heroism. But I always had my doubts. I mean, we were taught that the Sunna, the tradition, says, 'No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.' I used to sit and wonder, Weren't the Yahud (Jews) people, too? Didn't they have the right to live the same as us? If we're supposed to be good to everyone, how come nobody includes Jews in that?
"I asked these questions to my father, and he threw me out of the house. Just like that, with nothing but the clothes on my back. By now my mind was made up: I was going to run away and live with the Yahud, until I could find out what they were really like."
FAMILY PHOTO
Machmud continued:
"I snuck back into the house that night, to get my things and my backpack. My mother caught me in the middle of packing. She looked pale and upset, but she was quiet and gentle to me, and after a while she got me to talk. I told her that I wanted to go live with the Jews for a while and find out what they're really like, and maybe I would even want to convert.
"She was turning more and more pale while I said all this, and I thought she was angry, but that wasn't it. Something else was hurting her, and she whispered, 'You don't have to convert. You already are a Jew.'
She whispered: "You don't have to convert. You already are a Jew." "I was shocked. My head started spinning, and for a moment I couldn't speak. Then I stammered, 'What do you mean?'
"'In Judaism,' she told me, 'the religion goes according to the mother. I'm Jewish, so that means you're Jewish.'
"I never had any idea my mother was Jewish. I guess she didn't want anyone to know. She sure didn't feel too good about her life, because she whispered suddenly, 'I made a mistake by marrying an Arab man. In you, my mistake will be redeemed.'
"My mother always talked that way, poetic-like. She went and dug out some old documents, and handed them to me: things like my birth certificate and her old Israeli ID card, so I could prove I was a Jew. I've got them here, but I don't know what to do with them.
"My mother hesitated about one piece of paper. Then she said, 'You may as well take this. It is an old photograph of my grandparents, which was taken when they went looking for the grave of some great ancestor of ours. They went up north and found the grave, and that's when this picture was taken.'"
Dan gently put his hand on Machmud's shoulder. Machmud looked up, scared and hopeful at the same time. Dan asked, "Do you have the photo here?"
The boy's face lit up. ""Sure! I always carry it with me." He reached in his backpack and pulled out an old, tattered envelope.
This grave was in the old cemetery in Tzfat, and the inscription identified it as the author of Lecha Dodi. Dan gingerly took the photo from the envelope, picked up his glasses, and looked carefully at it. The first thing that stood out was the family group: an old-time Sephardi family from the turn of the century.
Then he focused on the grave they were standing around. When he read the gravestone inscription, he nearly dropped the photo. He rubbed his eyes to make sure. There was no doubt. This was a grave in the old cemetery in Tzfat, and the inscription identified it as the grave of the great Kabbalist and tzaddik Rabbi Shlomo Alkabetz -- the author of "Lecha Dodi."
Dan's voice quivered with excitement as he explained to Machmud who his ancestor was. "He was a friend of the Arizal, a great Torah scholar, a tzaddik, a mystic. And Machmud, your ancestor wrote that song we were singing all Shabbos: Lecha Dodi!"
This time it was Machmud's turn to be struck speechless. Dan slowly stood up from the bed, still in awe about what had happened. He extended his trembling hand and said, "Welcome home, Machmud. Now how about picking a new name for yourself."
Postscript: Machmud changed his name and enrolled in yeshiva in Jerusalem, where he studied diligently to "catch up" on his Jewish education. He got married to a nice Jewish girl, and gained popularity as a lecturer, recounting his dramatic story. He eventually had to flee Israel, due to threats against his life by members of his Arab family.
Reprinted with permission from "Monsey, Kiryat Sefer, and Beyond," (http://www.targum.com/store/Roth.html) by Zev Roth (Targum Press, 2002). The story is true; the names have been changed.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
So, nuuu??? Where are my tefillot going???
Some of you might've had a great davening yesterday. Or maybe last week. Maybe last year. 2 years ago? But if you ever had a GREAT davening, you REMEMBER it. "Oh boy, how I cried that day to my Father in Heaven." Or "wow, I remember that time when I read the whole sefer Tehillim" or the whole section of "Yom Rishon" in Tehillim, or maybe the first time you read Perek Shira or Shir Hashirim or Iggeret HaRamban. Or perhaps that day that you were quite meticulous with shmoneh esreh and enounciated all the words clearly, didn't allow your thoughts to drift to irrelevant matters, and had all of the right kavanot.
Point is - everyone remembers the enthusiastic times.
And yet - some of us might wonder, wait a minute...when did I ever get answered?
Maybe you cried and prayed with INTENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEE kavana asking for your special holy zivug hagun, and what happened?? A shadchan called you the next day and...suggested a person who is totally not shayach! HaShem, what's up with that? What's going on?
(Or better yet, the shadchan suggests someone who you go out with, think is amazing, but OH WAIT he's not interested. Hypothetically, of course.) :D
Rabbi Fischel Shachter told over a beautiful story. There was a frum gal who, like just about all of the single frum ladies in their early 20s, wanted to get married. A relative of hers told her "Chanale, Purim is coming up. You know that Purim is a huge zman tefillah - it's an amazing opportunity for HaShem to answer your tefillot. Pray with much kavana." Chana was inspired to pray that Purim. She had so much to ask for, particularly--her special zivug. She recited the whole book of Tehillim, prayed Shemoneh Esreh, and davened everything carefully and with MUCH kavana.
After Purim, she was certain her tefillot went straight to Shamayim and was expecting results soon.
She waited.
And waited.
Right before the next Purim was approaching, her relative called her, again. "Chanale, remember - Purim is such an important and special day for prayer! Pray. Pray your heart out."
Chana, a bit disheartened from dating, still had emunah. She was determined to pray intensely, and thought, "THIS Purim will be my last Purim as a single lady."
And so, Purim came.
She prayed. The whole sefer Tehillim! Again. She made sure to concentrate and clearly recite all of the precious words. She felt so connected to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Purim was over. Chana was on a high. She was sure HaShem wouldn't let her down. She envisioned meeting her zivug any day that week...or next week...or perhaps in a few months. But SOON.
She was already envisioning her wedding.
Except...
much like the year before, no zivug. No engagement. No Wedding. No husband.
Well, next Purim was approaching. Her relative called her and told her a third time - "Chanale! Purim is so soon. Remember to daven!!! DAVEN!!!!"
C'mon, really? She said the whole sefer Tehillim last Purim. And the Purim before that.
She had so much kavana during shacharit, mincha, etc. She was happy. She cried. She had spent the whole day praying! Tefillah wise, She had done nearly all that she possibly could on Purim.
And yet...here she was. Still single. Still a half of a whole.
Why was this year going to be different?
She didn't give up, though. She prayed that Purim. Again, the whole sefer Tehillim, with much kavana.
And some time before the next Purim, she found her zivug. They dated, got engaged, and got married.
A year later, Purim was approaching again, and she was now happily preparing Mishloach Manot with her husband. She gazed at him and smiled.
"You know, Purim is the reason we got married." She said.
Her husband looked very surprised and told her "wait a minute, I never told you the story about Purim? How did you know that?"
Chana listened anxiously, as her husband unfolded his secret journey:
"I wasn't always the same person that you know today. I used to be different. As you know, I grew up frum, but around 5 years ago, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Unfortunately, Torah and mitzvot were no longer prevalent in my life.
Purim was approaching, and I wasn't planning on celebrating it at all. My friends and I passed a Beit Midrash, and we saw people dancing, singing, and celebrating. My friends sneered and said 'let's join and get crazy drunk.'
So, we went inside. I was just planning to have a couple of drinks and leave, but suddenly, I felt my neshama bursting out. My friends wanted to leave, but I stayed. I rejoiced in Purim and felt HaShem again. I cried out 'HaShem, please keep me away from the people who are drawing me away from You! I want to walk in the right Jewish path again!'
I was determined to become a better person.
However, my resolution didn't last for long. I found myself back on the streets with the wrong crowd.
Next Purim came, and at night, as my friends and I were on the streets, a bunch of bachurim were celebrating and saw us. They figured out that we're Jewish and joyously escorted us with them to the Shul. As we were dancing, just like the year before, I felt the holiness of Purim again. My heart stirred, and I wanted to yell 'HaShem, make me close to You again! Please keep me away from the evil path of life!"
I was so set on disinvolving myself from my bad influences. I told myself: 'I will be better now! I'm a changed man.'
But similar to the year before, I went back to my old ways.
I was lost and caught up again by my yetzer hara.
Soon enough it was Purim again. Lo and behold, I found my way back into a Shul again. I had more fire in me than ever before. I felt HaShem, and now I was beyond determined. I prayed to Him that I find guidance and the right derech. The last 2 years didn't stick but...
baruch HaShem, I stayed on the derech that year. I became fully frum again and worked on myself, constantly growing better.
Once I was solid in my fundamentals, I was ready to get married. And then HaShem sent you to me."
Now, I don't really know what Chana responded after that part. But I can imagine that she was like WHOA. So my tefillot WERE working -- I was praying, not just to meet him, but for him to reach the state of maturity and readiness to truly be my zivug.
Finally, she received closure for all the lack of clarity that existed during those bitter periods of singlehood.
When I heard this story (the 2nd time), I was really moved. A lot of times we pray with sincere and intense kavana. We beg HaShem and pour our hearts out, and after we're finished, we're 100% positive that we've made an impression and a change will soon occur in our lives.
And yet...
we find ourselves stuck in the same position, with our predicament not changing.
However, our predicament IS changing - we just don't see the results yet. When Chana was praying for her zivug, she had no idea that he wasn't ready yet. She was praying for herself. And when she didn't see results for HERSELF, she felt a sense of failure.
But failure is far from the reality! Had she not prayed, who knows when her zivug would've been ready? By praying for herself, she was really praying for the well-being of her other half.
She thought her tefillot weren't being answered, but they were. And what would have happened if she had just stopped praying? Perhaps her zivug would have never been ready. Or would have became ready 10 years later.
Her strong tefillot every single Purim are what led her zivug to reach his true potential and become worthy of meeting her at the most appropiate time possible.
This Taanit Esther & Purim, we have an amazing opportunity. We can pray for Klal Yisrael, for ourselves, our families, shalom bayit, parnassah, zivugim, refua shlemah, doing teshuva, mashiach, etc.!
Purim day is one of the biggest days (if not the ultimate day) for Tefillah. In fact, Yom Kippur, such a holy day -- is compared to Purim. "Yom Kippur" is "Yom K'Purim" - a day LIKE Purim.
We have the potential to reach the highest heights of closeness to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. We don't have to be Rabbanim or huge tzadikim to reach this lofty height. We just need to be willing to pray and form a connection. If we do, there's no limit to the impact we can make.
Even if we don't see the impact right away, that doesn't mean that HaShem is not "working" on your case. HaShem runs the world, and He knows what He's doing! We must never feel disheartened. There is ALWAYS a solution and "refua" waiting. Remember, HaShem never creates the maka (plague) without the refua (salavation/recovery).
This story also works well with the concept of nistar. HaShem's Name isn't mentioned even once in the Megillah, yet if we delve more closely, He's alluded to in EVERY SINGLE pasuk!
On Purim, we dress up in costumes. If a person wears an animal mask and furry outfit, he's barely recognizable. But is that person still the same person inside? Of course! On the surface, his identity is hidden, but if one looks deeper - he'll see that the man behind the animal mask, in fact, his friend.
That's the concept of "nistar" - HaShem is hidden from us, but it doesn't mean that His essence of goodness is not here. He's always with us, we just need to take a closer look and find Him in our every day lives.
There is NEVER a hopeless situation. Please remember that in regards to whatever problem it is that you're dealing with in life!
May all of our Tefillot be answered l'tova, and may the holiness of chodesh Adar and Purim bring us all closer to HaShem! :)
Point is - everyone remembers the enthusiastic times.
And yet - some of us might wonder, wait a minute...when did I ever get answered?
Maybe you cried and prayed with INTENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEE kavana asking for your special holy zivug hagun, and what happened?? A shadchan called you the next day and...suggested a person who is totally not shayach! HaShem, what's up with that? What's going on?
(Or better yet, the shadchan suggests someone who you go out with, think is amazing, but OH WAIT he's not interested. Hypothetically, of course.) :D
Rabbi Fischel Shachter told over a beautiful story. There was a frum gal who, like just about all of the single frum ladies in their early 20s, wanted to get married. A relative of hers told her "Chanale, Purim is coming up. You know that Purim is a huge zman tefillah - it's an amazing opportunity for HaShem to answer your tefillot. Pray with much kavana." Chana was inspired to pray that Purim. She had so much to ask for, particularly--her special zivug. She recited the whole book of Tehillim, prayed Shemoneh Esreh, and davened everything carefully and with MUCH kavana.
After Purim, she was certain her tefillot went straight to Shamayim and was expecting results soon.
She waited.
And waited.
Right before the next Purim was approaching, her relative called her, again. "Chanale, remember - Purim is such an important and special day for prayer! Pray. Pray your heart out."
Chana, a bit disheartened from dating, still had emunah. She was determined to pray intensely, and thought, "THIS Purim will be my last Purim as a single lady."
And so, Purim came.
She prayed. The whole sefer Tehillim! Again. She made sure to concentrate and clearly recite all of the precious words. She felt so connected to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Purim was over. Chana was on a high. She was sure HaShem wouldn't let her down. She envisioned meeting her zivug any day that week...or next week...or perhaps in a few months. But SOON.
She was already envisioning her wedding.
Except...
much like the year before, no zivug. No engagement. No Wedding. No husband.
Well, next Purim was approaching. Her relative called her and told her a third time - "Chanale! Purim is so soon. Remember to daven!!! DAVEN!!!!"
C'mon, really? She said the whole sefer Tehillim last Purim. And the Purim before that.
She had so much kavana during shacharit, mincha, etc. She was happy. She cried. She had spent the whole day praying! Tefillah wise, She had done nearly all that she possibly could on Purim.
And yet...here she was. Still single. Still a half of a whole.
Why was this year going to be different?
She didn't give up, though. She prayed that Purim. Again, the whole sefer Tehillim, with much kavana.
And some time before the next Purim, she found her zivug. They dated, got engaged, and got married.
A year later, Purim was approaching again, and she was now happily preparing Mishloach Manot with her husband. She gazed at him and smiled.
"You know, Purim is the reason we got married." She said.
Her husband looked very surprised and told her "wait a minute, I never told you the story about Purim? How did you know that?"
Chana listened anxiously, as her husband unfolded his secret journey:
"I wasn't always the same person that you know today. I used to be different. As you know, I grew up frum, but around 5 years ago, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Unfortunately, Torah and mitzvot were no longer prevalent in my life.
Purim was approaching, and I wasn't planning on celebrating it at all. My friends and I passed a Beit Midrash, and we saw people dancing, singing, and celebrating. My friends sneered and said 'let's join and get crazy drunk.'
So, we went inside. I was just planning to have a couple of drinks and leave, but suddenly, I felt my neshama bursting out. My friends wanted to leave, but I stayed. I rejoiced in Purim and felt HaShem again. I cried out 'HaShem, please keep me away from the people who are drawing me away from You! I want to walk in the right Jewish path again!'
I was determined to become a better person.
However, my resolution didn't last for long. I found myself back on the streets with the wrong crowd.
Next Purim came, and at night, as my friends and I were on the streets, a bunch of bachurim were celebrating and saw us. They figured out that we're Jewish and joyously escorted us with them to the Shul. As we were dancing, just like the year before, I felt the holiness of Purim again. My heart stirred, and I wanted to yell 'HaShem, make me close to You again! Please keep me away from the evil path of life!"
I was so set on disinvolving myself from my bad influences. I told myself: 'I will be better now! I'm a changed man.'
But similar to the year before, I went back to my old ways.
I was lost and caught up again by my yetzer hara.
Soon enough it was Purim again. Lo and behold, I found my way back into a Shul again. I had more fire in me than ever before. I felt HaShem, and now I was beyond determined. I prayed to Him that I find guidance and the right derech. The last 2 years didn't stick but...
baruch HaShem, I stayed on the derech that year. I became fully frum again and worked on myself, constantly growing better.
Once I was solid in my fundamentals, I was ready to get married. And then HaShem sent you to me."
Now, I don't really know what Chana responded after that part. But I can imagine that she was like WHOA. So my tefillot WERE working -- I was praying, not just to meet him, but for him to reach the state of maturity and readiness to truly be my zivug.
Finally, she received closure for all the lack of clarity that existed during those bitter periods of singlehood.
When I heard this story (the 2nd time), I was really moved. A lot of times we pray with sincere and intense kavana. We beg HaShem and pour our hearts out, and after we're finished, we're 100% positive that we've made an impression and a change will soon occur in our lives.
And yet...
we find ourselves stuck in the same position, with our predicament not changing.
However, our predicament IS changing - we just don't see the results yet. When Chana was praying for her zivug, she had no idea that he wasn't ready yet. She was praying for herself. And when she didn't see results for HERSELF, she felt a sense of failure.
But failure is far from the reality! Had she not prayed, who knows when her zivug would've been ready? By praying for herself, she was really praying for the well-being of her other half.
She thought her tefillot weren't being answered, but they were. And what would have happened if she had just stopped praying? Perhaps her zivug would have never been ready. Or would have became ready 10 years later.
Her strong tefillot every single Purim are what led her zivug to reach his true potential and become worthy of meeting her at the most appropiate time possible.
This Taanit Esther & Purim, we have an amazing opportunity. We can pray for Klal Yisrael, for ourselves, our families, shalom bayit, parnassah, zivugim, refua shlemah, doing teshuva, mashiach, etc.!
Purim day is one of the biggest days (if not the ultimate day) for Tefillah. In fact, Yom Kippur, such a holy day -- is compared to Purim. "Yom Kippur" is "Yom K'Purim" - a day LIKE Purim.
We have the potential to reach the highest heights of closeness to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. We don't have to be Rabbanim or huge tzadikim to reach this lofty height. We just need to be willing to pray and form a connection. If we do, there's no limit to the impact we can make.
Even if we don't see the impact right away, that doesn't mean that HaShem is not "working" on your case. HaShem runs the world, and He knows what He's doing! We must never feel disheartened. There is ALWAYS a solution and "refua" waiting. Remember, HaShem never creates the maka (plague) without the refua (salavation/recovery).
This story also works well with the concept of nistar. HaShem's Name isn't mentioned even once in the Megillah, yet if we delve more closely, He's alluded to in EVERY SINGLE pasuk!
On Purim, we dress up in costumes. If a person wears an animal mask and furry outfit, he's barely recognizable. But is that person still the same person inside? Of course! On the surface, his identity is hidden, but if one looks deeper - he'll see that the man behind the animal mask, in fact, his friend.
That's the concept of "nistar" - HaShem is hidden from us, but it doesn't mean that His essence of goodness is not here. He's always with us, we just need to take a closer look and find Him in our every day lives.
There is NEVER a hopeless situation. Please remember that in regards to whatever problem it is that you're dealing with in life!
May all of our Tefillot be answered l'tova, and may the holiness of chodesh Adar and Purim bring us all closer to HaShem! :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Holding Back
That's what I've been doing. You see, I have tons of posts just BEGGING me to click the "publish post" orange box thingy.
But...I can't. I'm not sure my editor would approve.
Yet, the thought still lingers. To post or not to post, that is the question.
But...I can't. I'm not sure my editor would approve.
Yet, the thought still lingers. To post or not to post, that is the question.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Quote Of The Day :)
"The important thing is... to be ready at any
moment, to sacrifice the person you are for the person who you could become."
-- Charles DuBois
moment, to sacrifice the person you are for the person who you could become."
-- Charles DuBois
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Coming Out of The Cocoon
In case y'all didn't notice yet, I'm a fan of those inspirational chizzuk stories. I find that (at times) the most powerful stories that are the ones that you or someone that you know personally experienced. I have a phenomenal story to share about a very special friend of mine. This lady is truly a tzadika, and I hope my readers will be moved by this as much as I was (if not more!)
(note: the facts are true, but I edited names for the sake of anonymity.)
Around two years ago, a close friend of mine threw a challah & bracha party.
For those who are unaware, a challah & bracha party is basically when a bunch of people (usually of the female persuasion :)) get together and bake challot and make brachot on various foods & answer "amen" to each other's brachot.
Baking challah is a very special mitzvah, and that time is a strong "et tefillah" (time for prayer) -- so that's an especially auspicious to ask HaShem for whatever our heart desires.
The bracha part is when foods from each "bracha category" are beautifully presented and arranged on a table. The brachot are recited in the following descending order: "Mezonot" (food made from the 5 grains) => "Hagefen" (grapejuice or wine) => "Ha'etz" (fruits that grow on a tree) => "Ha'adama" (vegetables that don't grow on trees) => Shehakol (all other foods)
Some people also add "besamim" (a bracha on fragrances)
Each bracha is a "segulah" for a particular salvation:
Mezonot - Parnassah
Hagefen - Shidduchim/Marriage
Ha'etz - Children/Pri Beten
Ha'adma - Refua Shlemah
Shehakol - anything else (Mashiach, Geula, Shalom Bayit, success in school, etc.)
Besamim - Chazara b'teshuva (to do teshuva)
Before reciting the bracha, you take the food in your right hand and close your eyes and say the Hebrew names of the people who need the segulah that your particular bracha stands for. So, let's say before saying "ha'adma", you says the names of all of the ill people who needs a speedy recovery. Then, you makes the bracha with kavana and everyone else responds with a loud "AMEN!"
When one answers amen, one creates a malach. Chazal teach us that the "amen" is more important than the bracha -- therefore, one should always make brachot aloud and around people whenever possible in order for the "amen" to be recited.
Now, when there are a lot of people, there are usually 3 groups for each bracha. First, one group makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone from the other group answers amen. The second group then makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone responds amen. The 3rd group is only one person who REALLY needs that yeshua -- for ex, an older single will be the last one to say the bracha of "hagefen" - and everyone answers amen. That person is called "the closer."
While all of this is going on, the challah is baking in the oven and the special aroma is enveloping the apartment or house.
If anyone is interested in learning more about the power brachot/amen, I highly recommend reading this book.
Below are pictures that I've taken at Challah/Bracha parties that I've attended:
Now that we all understand what a challah & bracha party is, let's move on :)
So I was at that special event around 2 years ago. A close friend of mine, Natalie, was moving to Israel for a year, and she invited all of her friends over. At this party, I noticed a beautiful married lady. She stood out because she was wearing a vibrant colored headscarf that perfectly matched her modest outfit. She looked fashionable and tznua (modest) at the same time. She had a huge smile on her face the whole time and was very friendly. She looked pretty young, around 25 years old, and I figured that she probably has one or two kids and with that happy attitude, she is probably an amazing mommy.
Natalie introduced her to us. Tziporah was this special lady's name. Apparently she was a fashion designer and had a boutique full of modest clothing. In fact, my friend who was throwing the party was dressed impeccably, and turns out -- that's how Natalie met Tziporah. She was looking for an outfit for the party, went to Tziporah's boutique, and they instantly hit it off as friends, and she invited her to the challah & bracha party.
The summer night was going great. Everybody was in an uplifted and joyful mood. Because most of the gals who attended were single, a decision was made that we would first say our names and/or names of other singles we know, and we would each recite an individual brachot of "hagefen" and everyone would answer "amen!" Because there were around 35 single ladies there, that means over 35 brachot of "hagefen" were made within those few minutes.
Each time a single girl made a bracha of "hagefen", Tziporah started singing songs like "od yeshama" and clapping her hands. She had so much genuine simcha for each person, as if she was certain that each one of us would get married that year. She set the tone, and people joined in singing with her.
A couple of minutes later, it was time to make the bracha of "ha'etz." The blessing for barren couples who haven't had children (yet). Usually at the bracha parties I had previously attended, "the closer" was never a barren lady.
Usually "the closer" for "ha'etz" would be somebody who knows a barren married woman who is trying to conceive. I didn't even personally know any women who were incapable of having children.
Until someone asked Tziporah if she wants to be the closer. She smiled and nodded. This smile, however, was different. It wasn't a joyous smile like her previous one that didn't leave her face the whole night; rather, this time, it was a sad smile.
The 1st group made "ha'etz" and answered "amen." The 2nd group followed.
Finally, it was Tziporah's turn.
She stood up in the front of the crowd and tears began forming in her eyes. She closed her eyes and starting swaying. "May this bracha be for and my tzaddik husband ...we have been trying for 10 years...and I hope...this year." And as the tears were emerging out of her eyes, she tightly held onto the green grape in her right hand, slightly raised her hand, and said with intense kavana "Baruch ATAH HaShem Elokeinu Melech HaOlam, Boreh P'ri Ha'etz!" everyone answered a loud "AMEN!"
I was stunned. Here I thought that she was 25, with at least 2 children. If she was trying to conceive for 10 years, she had to be older than 25. And she had to have experienced more suffering than I ever imagined somebody with such a bright smile could have experienced. I cringed. I wished there was something I could do. Oh, how much pain she must be in...
these thoughts followed me as I went home. It just didn't sit well with me. Her positive energy and emunah left me on a high, but at the same time, I felt uncomfortable. The same image kept replaying in my head: the expression on her face while making the bracha with those tightly shut eyes and tears pushing out.
A few days later, Natalie gave me a call. "I'm trying to organize a group of 40 women, particularly the girls from my bracha party, to say Shir Hashirim for Tziporah on Erev Shabbat. And in that zchut, Be'ezrat HaShem, Tziporah will be expecting a child soon. Are you in?"
40 girls were gathered, and she gave us Tziporah and her husband's full Hebrew names.
I jotted down their names and kept the note in my siddur. I remembered them during my daily Shemoneh Esreh,
when lighting candles Erev Shabbat, whenever I traveled to Israel and prayed by the Kotel, etc.
Tziporah sent Natalie an e-mail, telling her that she is now a shadchan and asked if she has any friends who want to send their resumes. I sent my resume, she called me, and as a result, we became close friends because of our phone conversations. She set me up a few times, but even more importantly, she gave me chizzuk and divrei Torah. It was an emotional and logical support that very few shadchanim offered me in the past. She was one of the only shadchanim who made me feel like I will get married and should never worry -- just continue praying to HaShem and keep up the faith. She gave me brachot over the phone and invited me over her house for coffee and shmoozing.
Every conversation we had left me with a smile on my face. She was so warm and caring.
I didn't know how to ask her...if anything had changed. If she had a little somebody in her tummy.
I wanted to tell her how much my friends and I were davening for her. But I didn't say anything. I feared the possibility of offending her.
Natalie updated me from time to time, telling me to continue davening and not to give up. I knew that Tziporah wasn't giving up and that her emunah in HaShem was carrying her through.
Over a year after the challah & bracha party, I told a close friend of mine, Gila, about Tziporah.
A couple of days later, Gila called me up. "Sefardi Gal, I'm going to the Lubavitch Rebbe's kever to daven. That lady that you told me about...and her husband...who can't have kids...what're their names, again?"
I was so touched that she remembered. (Hey, I only have amazing friends!)
Around Rosh Hashana time of this year, Gila told me that she always continued to pray for the couple. She even made Challah every Erev Shabbat and would pray for them while making the challah.
I called Tziporah to wish her a shana tova, but she wasn't feeling well. My friend told me that Tziporah had done some infertility treatments that left her feeling weak and ill. It seemed that the treatments were not successful, and the side effects were painful.
At a friend's wedding on October 24, 2010, Natalie, Gila, and I were dancing, and we were crazy happy. Natalie took us aside, and admist the loud music, she said "I just want you two to be the first to know...TZIPORAH IS 3 MONTHS PREGNANT!" I have never cried from happiness, but it was a close call that night. None of us could contain our joy. We all screamed and hugged and jumped with joy. So that's why she wasn't feeling well! The treatment was working!, I thought. We continued to dance and praised HaShem, and really, at that moment...it felt like HaShem stopped the world. For Tziporah.
Gila never met Tziporah yet. She had no idea what she looked or sounded like. A week or two after the wedding, Gila called me and anxiously told me about how she met Tziporah. Gila was invited to another friend's bracha & challah party. There was a lady there who was pregnant, though not very visibly pregnant. My friend Gila took one look at her and thought "that's Tziporah. It has to be. She has that aura that Sefardi Gal was telling me about."
She went up to her and asked her "excuse me, but...are you Tziporah?"
"Yes, I am."
Gila started crying and told her "you don't know me, but Natalie and Sefardi Gal are my close friends. I heard the wonderful news, and I just want you to know...even though we never met, I was davening for you. I made challah for you. And for the first time last week, I made challah and davened for both you and your baby."
At that point, Tziporah started crying too and thanked her profusely and blessed her. They embraced, and it was clearly an emotional night.
As the months passed, we continued to pray for Tziporah to have a healthy and easy pregnancy and to give birth to a healthy baby. She's due in Pesach time.
Except...
she won't be giving birth to a healthy baby during Pesach.
HaShem planned that she gave birth two weeks ago on Shabbat to not one, but TWO healthy babies. Twins. A boy and girl. And she was 2 months early, but the babies are perfectly healthy, Baruch HaShem.
Finally, after 12 years of trying, she and her husband were rewarded with two children, both genders, on the holiest day of the week. And after waiting 12 years, HaShem didn't want them to wait 9 months; He condensed the wait to 7 months.
I realize that this is a long story and it could've been told in four sentences or even less. Except, in my opinion, that would take away from the depth and emotions that were involved. It was a huge experience and lesson in emunah and bitachon for my close friends and myself.
Tziporah taught me that no matter how difficult life is, you NEVER give up your faith in HaShem. You never stop davening. Many women in her situation might've became depressed or would've just gave up. But no. Tziporah was persistent. She prayed, and she would go to (AND GIVE) shiurim and find something new to work on every day. She constantly invited guests over not only for Shabbat but also for other days of the week.
She gave others chizzuk and always wore a beautiful & cheerful smile on her face. She prayed for other barren couples who were in similar or even worse positions. She not only prayed for them, but she also forwarded and e-mailed their names to other people to pray for them. She once sent me a list of over 30 barren couples to daven for on Erev Shabbat.
She saw me recently and handed me a paper with the names of two or three couples in need of conceiving.
She allowed her adversity to be the catalyst for helping others. She didn't let her problems suppress her from reaching her potential and reaching out to help others, be it other barren couples, singles that she tried (and tries) to set up, or giving shiurim.
I also learned that the power of tefillah in GROUPS, as unified members of Klal Yisrael, has a huge impact. What better way to fulfill "love your neighbor as you love yourself" than to pray for him or her?
Just because Tziporah got pregnant, she didn't forget about all of the couples who are still trying. I think this is a crucial point to remember.
A Rabbi in my Shul once told a story about two single men who were praying for each other to find their zivugim. One of them found his zivug and got married. A few years later, his friend was still single. His friend asked him "are you still davening for me?" Embarrassed, the married friend admitted "no, I stopped after I got married."
We can't stop praying for our friends. Even if we have a long list. Even if we already found our zivug. We can't forget about the rest who still haven't found what they're looking for.
Tziporah and Gila were crying because a meeting wasn't necessary for Gila to feel Tziporah's pain. All Gila needed was her love for a fellow Jew to stimulate her tefillot.
Above all, I think I finally FELT (I only knew before) that HaShem truly does listen to our tefillot.
Similar to the caterpillar in the dark and unfriendly cocoon, one needs to go through difficulties in life to become a beautiful colorful butterfly.
May Tziporah's story serve as an example to all of us that HaShem knows what He's doing and has a great plan for all of us. He only sends us trials and tribulations that we can handle.
And that Ahavat Yisrael and Tefillah can break all harsh decrees and barriers!
Shavua Tov and Chodesh Tov u'Mevurach to all!
(note: the facts are true, but I edited names for the sake of anonymity.)
Around two years ago, a close friend of mine threw a challah & bracha party.
For those who are unaware, a challah & bracha party is basically when a bunch of people (usually of the female persuasion :)) get together and bake challot and make brachot on various foods & answer "amen" to each other's brachot.
Baking challah is a very special mitzvah, and that time is a strong "et tefillah" (time for prayer) -- so that's an especially auspicious to ask HaShem for whatever our heart desires.
The bracha part is when foods from each "bracha category" are beautifully presented and arranged on a table. The brachot are recited in the following descending order: "Mezonot" (food made from the 5 grains) => "Hagefen" (grapejuice or wine) => "Ha'etz" (fruits that grow on a tree) => "Ha'adama" (vegetables that don't grow on trees) => Shehakol (all other foods)
Some people also add "besamim" (a bracha on fragrances)
Each bracha is a "segulah" for a particular salvation:
Mezonot - Parnassah
Hagefen - Shidduchim/Marriage
Ha'etz - Children/Pri Beten
Ha'adma - Refua Shlemah
Shehakol - anything else (Mashiach, Geula, Shalom Bayit, success in school, etc.)
Besamim - Chazara b'teshuva (to do teshuva)
Before reciting the bracha, you take the food in your right hand and close your eyes and say the Hebrew names of the people who need the segulah that your particular bracha stands for. So, let's say before saying "ha'adma", you says the names of all of the ill people who needs a speedy recovery. Then, you makes the bracha with kavana and everyone else responds with a loud "AMEN!"
When one answers amen, one creates a malach. Chazal teach us that the "amen" is more important than the bracha -- therefore, one should always make brachot aloud and around people whenever possible in order for the "amen" to be recited.
Now, when there are a lot of people, there are usually 3 groups for each bracha. First, one group makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone from the other group answers amen. The second group then makes the bracha simultaneously, and everyone responds amen. The 3rd group is only one person who REALLY needs that yeshua -- for ex, an older single will be the last one to say the bracha of "hagefen" - and everyone answers amen. That person is called "the closer."
While all of this is going on, the challah is baking in the oven and the special aroma is enveloping the apartment or house.
If anyone is interested in learning more about the power brachot/amen, I highly recommend reading this book.
Below are pictures that I've taken at Challah/Bracha parties that I've attended:
Now that we all understand what a challah & bracha party is, let's move on :)
So I was at that special event around 2 years ago. A close friend of mine, Natalie, was moving to Israel for a year, and she invited all of her friends over. At this party, I noticed a beautiful married lady. She stood out because she was wearing a vibrant colored headscarf that perfectly matched her modest outfit. She looked fashionable and tznua (modest) at the same time. She had a huge smile on her face the whole time and was very friendly. She looked pretty young, around 25 years old, and I figured that she probably has one or two kids and with that happy attitude, she is probably an amazing mommy.
Natalie introduced her to us. Tziporah was this special lady's name. Apparently she was a fashion designer and had a boutique full of modest clothing. In fact, my friend who was throwing the party was dressed impeccably, and turns out -- that's how Natalie met Tziporah. She was looking for an outfit for the party, went to Tziporah's boutique, and they instantly hit it off as friends, and she invited her to the challah & bracha party.
The summer night was going great. Everybody was in an uplifted and joyful mood. Because most of the gals who attended were single, a decision was made that we would first say our names and/or names of other singles we know, and we would each recite an individual brachot of "hagefen" and everyone would answer "amen!" Because there were around 35 single ladies there, that means over 35 brachot of "hagefen" were made within those few minutes.
Each time a single girl made a bracha of "hagefen", Tziporah started singing songs like "od yeshama" and clapping her hands. She had so much genuine simcha for each person, as if she was certain that each one of us would get married that year. She set the tone, and people joined in singing with her.
A couple of minutes later, it was time to make the bracha of "ha'etz." The blessing for barren couples who haven't had children (yet). Usually at the bracha parties I had previously attended, "the closer" was never a barren lady.
Usually "the closer" for "ha'etz" would be somebody who knows a barren married woman who is trying to conceive. I didn't even personally know any women who were incapable of having children.
Until someone asked Tziporah if she wants to be the closer. She smiled and nodded. This smile, however, was different. It wasn't a joyous smile like her previous one that didn't leave her face the whole night; rather, this time, it was a sad smile.
The 1st group made "ha'etz" and answered "amen." The 2nd group followed.
Finally, it was Tziporah's turn.
She stood up in the front of the crowd and tears began forming in her eyes. She closed her eyes and starting swaying. "May this bracha be for
I was stunned. Here I thought that she was 25, with at least 2 children. If she was trying to conceive for 10 years, she had to be older than 25. And she had to have experienced more suffering than I ever imagined somebody with such a bright smile could have experienced. I cringed. I wished there was something I could do. Oh, how much pain she must be in...
these thoughts followed me as I went home. It just didn't sit well with me. Her positive energy and emunah left me on a high, but at the same time, I felt uncomfortable. The same image kept replaying in my head: the expression on her face while making the bracha with those tightly shut eyes and tears pushing out.
A few days later, Natalie gave me a call. "I'm trying to organize a group of 40 women, particularly the girls from my bracha party, to say Shir Hashirim for Tziporah on Erev Shabbat. And in that zchut, Be'ezrat HaShem, Tziporah will be expecting a child soon. Are you in?"
40 girls were gathered, and she gave us Tziporah and her husband's full Hebrew names.
I jotted down their names and kept the note in my siddur. I remembered them during my daily Shemoneh Esreh,
when lighting candles Erev Shabbat, whenever I traveled to Israel and prayed by the Kotel, etc.Tziporah sent Natalie an e-mail, telling her that she is now a shadchan and asked if she has any friends who want to send their resumes. I sent my resume, she called me, and as a result, we became close friends because of our phone conversations. She set me up a few times, but even more importantly, she gave me chizzuk and divrei Torah. It was an emotional and logical support that very few shadchanim offered me in the past. She was one of the only shadchanim who made me feel like I will get married and should never worry -- just continue praying to HaShem and keep up the faith. She gave me brachot over the phone and invited me over her house for coffee and shmoozing.
Every conversation we had left me with a smile on my face. She was so warm and caring.
I didn't know how to ask her...if anything had changed. If she had a little somebody in her tummy.
I wanted to tell her how much my friends and I were davening for her. But I didn't say anything. I feared the possibility of offending her.
Natalie updated me from time to time, telling me to continue davening and not to give up. I knew that Tziporah wasn't giving up and that her emunah in HaShem was carrying her through.
Over a year after the challah & bracha party, I told a close friend of mine, Gila, about Tziporah.
A couple of days later, Gila called me up. "Sefardi Gal, I'm going to the Lubavitch Rebbe's kever to daven. That lady that you told me about...and her husband...who can't have kids...what're their names, again?"
I was so touched that she remembered. (Hey, I only have amazing friends!)
Around Rosh Hashana time of this year, Gila told me that she always continued to pray for the couple. She even made Challah every Erev Shabbat and would pray for them while making the challah.
I called Tziporah to wish her a shana tova, but she wasn't feeling well. My friend told me that Tziporah had done some infertility treatments that left her feeling weak and ill. It seemed that the treatments were not successful, and the side effects were painful.
At a friend's wedding on October 24, 2010, Natalie, Gila, and I were dancing, and we were crazy happy. Natalie took us aside, and admist the loud music, she said "I just want you two to be the first to know...TZIPORAH IS 3 MONTHS PREGNANT!" I have never cried from happiness, but it was a close call that night. None of us could contain our joy. We all screamed and hugged and jumped with joy. So that's why she wasn't feeling well! The treatment was working!, I thought. We continued to dance and praised HaShem, and really, at that moment...it felt like HaShem stopped the world. For Tziporah.
Gila never met Tziporah yet. She had no idea what she looked or sounded like. A week or two after the wedding, Gila called me and anxiously told me about how she met Tziporah. Gila was invited to another friend's bracha & challah party. There was a lady there who was pregnant, though not very visibly pregnant. My friend Gila took one look at her and thought "that's Tziporah. It has to be. She has that aura that Sefardi Gal was telling me about."
She went up to her and asked her "excuse me, but...are you Tziporah?"
"Yes, I am."
Gila started crying and told her "you don't know me, but Natalie and Sefardi Gal are my close friends. I heard the wonderful news, and I just want you to know...even though we never met, I was davening for you. I made challah for you. And for the first time last week, I made challah and davened for both you and your baby."
At that point, Tziporah started crying too and thanked her profusely and blessed her. They embraced, and it was clearly an emotional night.
As the months passed, we continued to pray for Tziporah to have a healthy and easy pregnancy and to give birth to a healthy baby. She's due in Pesach time.
Except...
she won't be giving birth to a healthy baby during Pesach.
HaShem planned that she gave birth two weeks ago on Shabbat to not one, but TWO healthy babies. Twins. A boy and girl. And she was 2 months early, but the babies are perfectly healthy, Baruch HaShem.
Finally, after 12 years of trying, she and her husband were rewarded with two children, both genders, on the holiest day of the week. And after waiting 12 years, HaShem didn't want them to wait 9 months; He condensed the wait to 7 months.
I realize that this is a long story and it could've been told in four sentences or even less. Except, in my opinion, that would take away from the depth and emotions that were involved. It was a huge experience and lesson in emunah and bitachon for my close friends and myself.
Tziporah taught me that no matter how difficult life is, you NEVER give up your faith in HaShem. You never stop davening. Many women in her situation might've became depressed or would've just gave up. But no. Tziporah was persistent. She prayed, and she would go to (AND GIVE) shiurim and find something new to work on every day. She constantly invited guests over not only for Shabbat but also for other days of the week.
She gave others chizzuk and always wore a beautiful & cheerful smile on her face. She prayed for other barren couples who were in similar or even worse positions. She not only prayed for them, but she also forwarded and e-mailed their names to other people to pray for them. She once sent me a list of over 30 barren couples to daven for on Erev Shabbat.
She saw me recently and handed me a paper with the names of two or three couples in need of conceiving.
She allowed her adversity to be the catalyst for helping others. She didn't let her problems suppress her from reaching her potential and reaching out to help others, be it other barren couples, singles that she tried (and tries) to set up, or giving shiurim.
I also learned that the power of tefillah in GROUPS, as unified members of Klal Yisrael, has a huge impact. What better way to fulfill "love your neighbor as you love yourself" than to pray for him or her?
Just because Tziporah got pregnant, she didn't forget about all of the couples who are still trying. I think this is a crucial point to remember.
A Rabbi in my Shul once told a story about two single men who were praying for each other to find their zivugim. One of them found his zivug and got married. A few years later, his friend was still single. His friend asked him "are you still davening for me?" Embarrassed, the married friend admitted "no, I stopped after I got married."
We can't stop praying for our friends. Even if we have a long list. Even if we already found our zivug. We can't forget about the rest who still haven't found what they're looking for.
Tziporah and Gila were crying because a meeting wasn't necessary for Gila to feel Tziporah's pain. All Gila needed was her love for a fellow Jew to stimulate her tefillot.
Above all, I think I finally FELT (I only knew before) that HaShem truly does listen to our tefillot.
Similar to the caterpillar in the dark and unfriendly cocoon, one needs to go through difficulties in life to become a beautiful colorful butterfly. May Tziporah's story serve as an example to all of us that HaShem knows what He's doing and has a great plan for all of us. He only sends us trials and tribulations that we can handle.
And that Ahavat Yisrael and Tefillah can break all harsh decrees and barriers!
Shavua Tov and Chodesh Tov u'Mevurach to all!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
1 More Cry
I was listening to a shiur about emunah, by one of my favorite speakers, Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser. In the shiur, he shared an incredible story about a man whom he knows personally. The man was married for 20 years and couldn't have children. 20 years! We should never know of such pain -- month after month, year after year, for 20 whole years waiting to have just one child.
This man prayed every single day in shemoneh esreh. He begged HaShem for a child. Please HaShem.
Please.
My child will grow up in the ways of Torah and mitzvot.
My child will be a tzadik (or tzadika)
I will love my child.
I will try and be the best parent.
Please HaShem! Have mercy. Have pity. Give me a child. Please. I'm begging of You. A zera chaya v'kayama.
Every day, he continued these sincere tefillot.
Until one day, on the 20th year of him and his wife being barren without any children -- he came to a resolution: enough tefillot. "I am no longer going to pray for a child. I've done enough. How many tefillot did I pray already?? How many thousands of shemoneh esrehs did I pray asking, begging, pleading? 20 years is enough. Apparently it is not destined that I should have a child, so I'm going to stop asking."
And so, he began shemoneh esreh, determined not to "give in" and ask HaShem for a child. He got up to "Shemah Kolenu" -- still set on not praying for children. It was quiet in the Shul. As he was in the middle of the "Shemah Koleinu" section, he heard the cry of a baby.
"What on earth? Am I hearing things? It's 6 AM, on a week day, and I'm in Shul! There's no baby here!"
As he was brushing off this notion, figuring that it was just his imagination, he heard a cry again.
And then he broke down in tears. How much he wants to hear a baby's cry in his own home! He cried and couldn't stop sobbing; he begged HaShem, with more fervor than ever in the past 20 years, for a child.
When he got home, he told his wife what happened at Shul. She began to cry and said it's a sign from HaShem -- they shouldn't stop praying!
Exactly 10 months later, she had a healthy baby!
You may be wondering -- so was there really a baby? Was it just his imagination?
The man later found out the truth:
there was a real baby in the Shul. A man brought his baby son to Shul because the baby didn't sleep all night long, and his wife was exhausted. She barely got any sleep and had a very difficult night. Finally, the baby fell asleep in the morning, and the husband wanted to ease his wife's stress and allow her to sleep peacefully - so he took the baby to Shul, figuring that since he was asleep, he wouldn't disturb anyone. The whole time, the baby was quiet, EXCEPT for those two moments during Shema Kolenu.
This man did a chessed for his wife, and in turn, he did a chessed for this barren couple.
Look at how much HaShem loves us - He cares about each one of us so much that he sends us individual wake up calls. He never gives up on us. Even if we feel that our tefillot aren't being answered, we must continue praying. It's never valid to STOP praying simply because you give up.
Why must we continue praying? Because our prayers are being answered - with a yes, no, or a maybe. Maybe now. Maybe later. It's similar to filling up a bottle of water - drop after drop.
Today's tefillah can be that last drop to finally fill up the bottle!
This man prayed every single day in shemoneh esreh. He begged HaShem for a child. Please HaShem.
Please.
My child will grow up in the ways of Torah and mitzvot.
My child will be a tzadik (or tzadika)
I will love my child.
I will try and be the best parent.
Please HaShem! Have mercy. Have pity. Give me a child. Please. I'm begging of You. A zera chaya v'kayama.
Every day, he continued these sincere tefillot.
Until one day, on the 20th year of him and his wife being barren without any children -- he came to a resolution: enough tefillot. "I am no longer going to pray for a child. I've done enough. How many tefillot did I pray already?? How many thousands of shemoneh esrehs did I pray asking, begging, pleading? 20 years is enough. Apparently it is not destined that I should have a child, so I'm going to stop asking."
And so, he began shemoneh esreh, determined not to "give in" and ask HaShem for a child. He got up to "Shemah Kolenu" -- still set on not praying for children. It was quiet in the Shul. As he was in the middle of the "Shemah Koleinu" section, he heard the cry of a baby.
"What on earth? Am I hearing things? It's 6 AM, on a week day, and I'm in Shul! There's no baby here!"
As he was brushing off this notion, figuring that it was just his imagination, he heard a cry again.
And then he broke down in tears. How much he wants to hear a baby's cry in his own home! He cried and couldn't stop sobbing; he begged HaShem, with more fervor than ever in the past 20 years, for a child.
When he got home, he told his wife what happened at Shul. She began to cry and said it's a sign from HaShem -- they shouldn't stop praying!
Exactly 10 months later, she had a healthy baby!
You may be wondering -- so was there really a baby? Was it just his imagination?
The man later found out the truth:
there was a real baby in the Shul. A man brought his baby son to Shul because the baby didn't sleep all night long, and his wife was exhausted. She barely got any sleep and had a very difficult night. Finally, the baby fell asleep in the morning, and the husband wanted to ease his wife's stress and allow her to sleep peacefully - so he took the baby to Shul, figuring that since he was asleep, he wouldn't disturb anyone. The whole time, the baby was quiet, EXCEPT for those two moments during Shema Kolenu.
This man did a chessed for his wife, and in turn, he did a chessed for this barren couple.
Look at how much HaShem loves us - He cares about each one of us so much that he sends us individual wake up calls. He never gives up on us. Even if we feel that our tefillot aren't being answered, we must continue praying. It's never valid to STOP praying simply because you give up.
Why must we continue praying? Because our prayers are being answered - with a yes, no, or a maybe. Maybe now. Maybe later. It's similar to filling up a bottle of water - drop after drop.
Today's tefillah can be that last drop to finally fill up the bottle!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Seeing the GOOD in others
When I was in High School, I purchased the Chafetz-Chaim-lesson-a-day sefer about lashon hara. Initially, I was a little apprehensive to begin because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle the intensity of the halachot. How will I be able to speak and have conversations if so many conversation topics are forbidden?
Well, interestingly enough, the book addressed that concern. The Chafetz Chaim was known for being extremely careful with shmirat halashon. One would think that he was a quiet and timid individual. But surprisingly, that's extremely far from the truth of the matter! The Chafetz Chaim was very talkative and sociable. Studying the laws of Shmirat Halashon/Lashon Hara aren't intended to teach us how to stop speaking; they're meant to teach us how to speak properly.
Now, lashon hara is a HUGE topic. Learning the halachot & refraining from lashon hara isn't just a "nice" thing to do. Shmirat Halashon is one of the main fundamentals of Judaism, and being a careless speaker of lashon hara is equivalent to the three cardinal sins (the Chafetz Chaim actually explains how it's even WORSE than those sins.)
Most Rabbanim would categorize shmirat halashon as one of the most important mitzvot to work on. I clearly can't tackle every single factor in this post, but I'd like to share a story and a couple of lessons that have greatly impacted my life.
The vast majority of frum Jews don't go around bashing people and spreading rumors. It's rare that you'll hear Chani telling her pal Dana about how ugly Rivki is. The yetzer hara knows that frum Jews won't fall for such obvious averot. So instead, he hides himself. He causes conflict. He makes us angry, agitated, impatient, judgemental, etc. And it's at that point that the nisyaon of lashon hara comes into the picture.
When the stinging word; the "diss"; the curse; the "comeback" is on the tip of your tongue! Ooooh and it's such a "good" insult, too. It's davka at THAT point that shmirat halashon becomes a huge challenge (for most people).
But wait a minute. Why is HaShem being so strict?? We live in the 21st century. In America. There're tabloids in almost every store and just about every TV show revolves around gossip and slander. The "in" thing to do is to release our emotions and HELLO?!?! Freedom of Speech!!! If I'm MAD, why can't I express myself?? The answer is very beautiful and deep. Every single Jew has a spark of HaShem; every single Jew has a neshama. That's holy. When you (general you) speak against your fellow Jew, what you're REALLY doing is bad mouthing HaKadosh Baruch Hu. There's a "part" (not literally; but we'll use that word to help us understand) of HaShem in every one us. That's our true essence -- our neshamot. Every single person has holiness and instrinstic worth, so you're not only against G-d's child, but you're also speaking against G-d! On top of that, you're acting as if no one is around to listen -- but G-d is around.
Speech is the main component that separates human beings from animals. We don't let our emotions/desires control us. We let the Torah and our logic control us. Naaseh v'nishma. What If we let emotions/desire control us? Then, we're even lower than the animals because they don't have the power of speech -- we do! Why are we lower, then, and not equivalent to the animals? Because if we use our gift of speech to do harm -- that's even worse than not being able to speak at all. To quote spiderman "with great power comes great responsibility" (that quote never gets old! :D)
My next post, b"H, will be about the koach of tefillah. However, there is a very important prerequisite for successful tefillah.
When I first read the shmirat halashon book, I was shakened. The halachot and divrei Torah were very powerful and life-changing (for the better, of course!)
Two particular teachings really frightened me, though, and changed my life:
1) After one passes away and goes up to Shamayim, all of his mitzvot and sins are shown. He will see averot (and mitzvot) that he NEVER did. He'll begin to freak out. "What?! I ate a cheeseburger at MacDonalds? Stole from Old Navy? Watched TV on Shabbat? HaShem, I never mixed basar v'chalav and never ate an MacDonalds! I never even stepped foot in Old Navy! I didn't even own a TV! How would I watch it on Shabbat??"
What's going on here?
The answer is that whenever he spoke lashon hara about his fellow Jew, he passed on his mitzvot to that Jew, and in return, received that person's sins!
That is a terrifying thought! Think about all the mitzvot we do -- all those times that we made it on time to pray & to minyan; all those times we dressed modestly, kept kosher, kept Shabbat and the Chagim, gave tzdaka, did chessed at the nursing home or hasc or camp simcha, and how about the really rare mitzvot -- like when you wrote a letter in the sefer Torah and/or shiluach haken?? Do we really want to give all of those precious good deeds away JUST because we're agitated and can't control our mouthes?
2) when one speaks lashon hara, his mouth is tainted, and therefore, his tefilliot are considered impure. His tefillot are not accepted easily in Shamayim, and therefore, speaking improperly can severely impact the power and results of your tefillot -- for the worse! (In fact, this is why we recite "Elokai, Netzor Leshoni Mi'Ra'ah u'sfatai medaber mirma" (translation: G-d, stop my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking negatively) after Shemonah Esreh 3x a day.)
I had a teacher in seminary who got married in her late 20s (or early 30s). At the time, she couldn't figure out why she was still single. She grew up religious and worked on herself tremendously throughout the her seminary and college years. She was intelligent and had a good career, good looks, prestigious education/degrees, and she just wanted to marry a holy guy who loved Torah. She couldn't figure it out: WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?!
So, she went to Rebbetzin Kanyevsky for a bracha. Rebbetzin Kanyevsky asked her "have you studied shmirat halashon?"
My teacher responded "yes, twice already."
The Rebbetzin's advice? "Learn it again."
My teacher heeded her advice and guess what?
she is married to a highly knowledgable, charismatic, and respected rabbi who loves her dearly, and they named one of her sons "Yisrael Meir" -- the Chafetz Chaim's name.
Learning has tremendous value. But it must be applied. And once it's applied, then your tefillot can reach the Kiseh Hakavod more smoothly. We must understand and appreciate the incredible power of shmirat halashon!
A friend of mine e-mailed me a powerful letter that Rebbetzin Kanyevsky published:
Dear women and girls! We need you to help us in prayers!
The situation in Eretz Yisrael is very difficult. We are suffering terrible losses, many orphans and widows from different diseases. My husband, The Rabbi, was asked what could be the reason for all these tragedies. The Rabbi opened a Gemara and said it's because of foul language. And how can we correct ourselves? Only by watching what we say.
I read an article written by Rabbi Segal from Manchester who writes:
"Never did I see a person who learned 2 Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day and didn't see salvation from above, whether in children, in shidduch, good health, parnasa or bringing up the children. He had promised that whoever will learn the Chafetz Hayim, he will be his defender in Heaven. "And we witnessed miracles that happened to people who took upon themselves two Halachot every day and saw Yeshuot.
While I was reading the article a woman walked in crying and said she has a number of aging daughters that are still not married. I showed her the article and immediately she said she will learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day. Within three days one daughter got engaged.
Two months later her second daughter and ba"h this woman saw many Yeshuot. Like her, hundreds of girls who took upon themselves the Shemirat Halashon got married.
A different story is about a woman who came to us about a year ago with great sorrow saying that she'd been married for 20 years and she didn't have children. I advised her to learn two Halchot every day and B"H she conceived and now has a month old baby boy.
And another story: a few weeks ago a woman came to me, broken and crying, and said that her mother is in the hospitalwith a growing tumor. She asked what she could take upon herself to help. Again, I advised that the entire family learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day. Two days later she returned and asked of me to tell her story and the miracle that happened. She said that the entire family gathered and decided to learn two Halachot daily and two days later they received a phone call from the hospital saying to come and pick up the mother, the tumor is gone and she is in good health.
I hear many miracles such as these.
And now, we should all take upon ourselves, bli neder, to learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day and pray with great kavana. A prayer that comes from the heart through a holy mouth is immediately accepted by Boreh-Olam and prevents many troubles and tragedies and brings Yeshua to the world.In the future, each one of us will be shown how many wonderful doings, how many people we saved. And thanks to you, my dear righteous women and girls, we will have the Zechut to bring Mashiah Tzidkeinu soon in our days.
Yehi Ratzon that Hashem will fulfill all of your wishes for the best,
B. Kanyevsky
B"H we should all be successful with giving our fellow brothers and sisters the benefit of the doubt and guarding our mouthes from speaking about anything improper, and b"H all of tefillot should be accepted and answered l'tova! :)
Well, interestingly enough, the book addressed that concern. The Chafetz Chaim was known for being extremely careful with shmirat halashon. One would think that he was a quiet and timid individual. But surprisingly, that's extremely far from the truth of the matter! The Chafetz Chaim was very talkative and sociable. Studying the laws of Shmirat Halashon/Lashon Hara aren't intended to teach us how to stop speaking; they're meant to teach us how to speak properly.
Now, lashon hara is a HUGE topic. Learning the halachot & refraining from lashon hara isn't just a "nice" thing to do. Shmirat Halashon is one of the main fundamentals of Judaism, and being a careless speaker of lashon hara is equivalent to the three cardinal sins (the Chafetz Chaim actually explains how it's even WORSE than those sins.)
Most Rabbanim would categorize shmirat halashon as one of the most important mitzvot to work on. I clearly can't tackle every single factor in this post, but I'd like to share a story and a couple of lessons that have greatly impacted my life.
The vast majority of frum Jews don't go around bashing people and spreading rumors. It's rare that you'll hear Chani telling her pal Dana about how ugly Rivki is. The yetzer hara knows that frum Jews won't fall for such obvious averot. So instead, he hides himself. He causes conflict. He makes us angry, agitated, impatient, judgemental, etc. And it's at that point that the nisyaon of lashon hara comes into the picture.
When the stinging word; the "diss"; the curse; the "comeback" is on the tip of your tongue! Ooooh and it's such a "good" insult, too. It's davka at THAT point that shmirat halashon becomes a huge challenge (for most people).
But wait a minute. Why is HaShem being so strict?? We live in the 21st century. In America. There're tabloids in almost every store and just about every TV show revolves around gossip and slander. The "in" thing to do is to release our emotions and HELLO?!?! Freedom of Speech!!! If I'm MAD, why can't I express myself?? The answer is very beautiful and deep. Every single Jew has a spark of HaShem; every single Jew has a neshama. That's holy. When you (general you) speak against your fellow Jew, what you're REALLY doing is bad mouthing HaKadosh Baruch Hu. There's a "part" (not literally; but we'll use that word to help us understand) of HaShem in every one us. That's our true essence -- our neshamot. Every single person has holiness and instrinstic worth, so you're not only against G-d's child, but you're also speaking against G-d! On top of that, you're acting as if no one is around to listen -- but G-d is around.
Speech is the main component that separates human beings from animals. We don't let our emotions/desires control us. We let the Torah and our logic control us. Naaseh v'nishma. What If we let emotions/desire control us? Then, we're even lower than the animals because they don't have the power of speech -- we do! Why are we lower, then, and not equivalent to the animals? Because if we use our gift of speech to do harm -- that's even worse than not being able to speak at all. To quote spiderman "with great power comes great responsibility" (that quote never gets old! :D)
My next post, b"H, will be about the koach of tefillah. However, there is a very important prerequisite for successful tefillah.
When I first read the shmirat halashon book, I was shakened. The halachot and divrei Torah were very powerful and life-changing (for the better, of course!)
Two particular teachings really frightened me, though, and changed my life:
1) After one passes away and goes up to Shamayim, all of his mitzvot and sins are shown. He will see averot (and mitzvot) that he NEVER did. He'll begin to freak out. "What?! I ate a cheeseburger at MacDonalds? Stole from Old Navy? Watched TV on Shabbat? HaShem, I never mixed basar v'chalav and never ate an MacDonalds! I never even stepped foot in Old Navy! I didn't even own a TV! How would I watch it on Shabbat??"
What's going on here?
The answer is that whenever he spoke lashon hara about his fellow Jew, he passed on his mitzvot to that Jew, and in return, received that person's sins!
That is a terrifying thought! Think about all the mitzvot we do -- all those times that we made it on time to pray & to minyan; all those times we dressed modestly, kept kosher, kept Shabbat and the Chagim, gave tzdaka, did chessed at the nursing home or hasc or camp simcha, and how about the really rare mitzvot -- like when you wrote a letter in the sefer Torah and/or shiluach haken?? Do we really want to give all of those precious good deeds away JUST because we're agitated and can't control our mouthes?
2) when one speaks lashon hara, his mouth is tainted, and therefore, his tefilliot are considered impure. His tefillot are not accepted easily in Shamayim, and therefore, speaking improperly can severely impact the power and results of your tefillot -- for the worse! (In fact, this is why we recite "Elokai, Netzor Leshoni Mi'Ra'ah u'sfatai medaber mirma" (translation: G-d, stop my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking negatively) after Shemonah Esreh 3x a day.)
I had a teacher in seminary who got married in her late 20s (or early 30s). At the time, she couldn't figure out why she was still single. She grew up religious and worked on herself tremendously throughout the her seminary and college years. She was intelligent and had a good career, good looks, prestigious education/degrees, and she just wanted to marry a holy guy who loved Torah. She couldn't figure it out: WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?!
So, she went to Rebbetzin Kanyevsky for a bracha. Rebbetzin Kanyevsky asked her "have you studied shmirat halashon?"
My teacher responded "yes, twice already."
The Rebbetzin's advice? "Learn it again."
My teacher heeded her advice and guess what?
she is married to a highly knowledgable, charismatic, and respected rabbi who loves her dearly, and they named one of her sons "Yisrael Meir" -- the Chafetz Chaim's name.
Learning has tremendous value. But it must be applied. And once it's applied, then your tefillot can reach the Kiseh Hakavod more smoothly. We must understand and appreciate the incredible power of shmirat halashon!
A friend of mine e-mailed me a powerful letter that Rebbetzin Kanyevsky published:
Dear women and girls! We need you to help us in prayers!
The situation in Eretz Yisrael is very difficult. We are suffering terrible losses, many orphans and widows from different diseases. My husband, The Rabbi, was asked what could be the reason for all these tragedies. The Rabbi opened a Gemara and said it's because of foul language. And how can we correct ourselves? Only by watching what we say.
I read an article written by Rabbi Segal from Manchester who writes:
"Never did I see a person who learned 2 Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day and didn't see salvation from above, whether in children, in shidduch, good health, parnasa or bringing up the children. He had promised that whoever will learn the Chafetz Hayim, he will be his defender in Heaven. "And we witnessed miracles that happened to people who took upon themselves two Halachot every day and saw Yeshuot.
While I was reading the article a woman walked in crying and said she has a number of aging daughters that are still not married. I showed her the article and immediately she said she will learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day. Within three days one daughter got engaged.
Two months later her second daughter and ba"h this woman saw many Yeshuot. Like her, hundreds of girls who took upon themselves the Shemirat Halashon got married.
A different story is about a woman who came to us about a year ago with great sorrow saying that she'd been married for 20 years and she didn't have children. I advised her to learn two Halchot every day and B"H she conceived and now has a month old baby boy.
And another story: a few weeks ago a woman came to me, broken and crying, and said that her mother is in the hospitalwith a growing tumor. She asked what she could take upon herself to help. Again, I advised that the entire family learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day. Two days later she returned and asked of me to tell her story and the miracle that happened. She said that the entire family gathered and decided to learn two Halachot daily and two days later they received a phone call from the hospital saying to come and pick up the mother, the tumor is gone and she is in good health.
I hear many miracles such as these.
And now, we should all take upon ourselves, bli neder, to learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day and pray with great kavana. A prayer that comes from the heart through a holy mouth is immediately accepted by Boreh-Olam and prevents many troubles and tragedies and brings Yeshua to the world.In the future, each one of us will be shown how many wonderful doings, how many people we saved. And thanks to you, my dear righteous women and girls, we will have the Zechut to bring Mashiah Tzidkeinu soon in our days.
Yehi Ratzon that Hashem will fulfill all of your wishes for the best,
B. Kanyevsky
B"H we should all be successful with giving our fellow brothers and sisters the benefit of the doubt and guarding our mouthes from speaking about anything improper, and b"H all of tefillot should be accepted and answered l'tova! :)
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