The World Won't Understand

I recently saw a married friend.
She was pushing her baby stroller down the block and then noticed me.
And chatting time began.
“so, how ‘s dating going?” she asked.
(you can use your imagination about how I answered)

She smiled and told me “you know, when I was dating, the problem was, every guy was interested in me. And every single time, I was like ‘well, I guess, I could be married to him.’”
What she said goes along with my “theory” – it’s easy to get married. It’s not so difficult to find someone who thinks you’re pretty great and wants to spend his life with you. (Sorry, I hope that doesn’t sound obnoxious.)
So, the goal is not just to get married. The goal is to find the right person; the person whom you need. The person who can help you develop to the person that you need to become.
It’s not that I feel like nobody likes me. Or that I don’t get along with anybody.
Sure, I’ve had my share of unsuccessful dates. And just plain ol' WEIRD (not the good kind of weird) experiences. But overall, most of the guys are pretty nice, but just not for me because something is missing. The missing factor is usually due to personality clashes, religious differences, etc.
But it’s never like “omgosh waaa waaa boo hooo, I go out with all these guys, and they’re all amazing and nobody ever likes me!!”

So, sometimes, it makes me wonder.
What’s wrong with me? I mean, I know I’m a weirdo. And a little bit nutty.
Am I a hopeless case?
Am I being too picky?
Should I just “settle”?

The tachlis (love that ashki word!) answer is no. I’m not going to settle. I know that none of these guys are my zivug. I’m looking for the right person for me. My goal is not just marriage. It’s a successful marriage. My true other half; my essence; the person who understands every fiber within me and appreciates me. And that shouldn’t be one sided. I want the passion and empathy to be mutual.

And now, children, it’s time for North & South. Mr. Thornton will allow me to mope with hope.

Sane in the Woods

You know when you have those days when everyone is getting on your nerves?
Yeah, well, I'm having one of those days.

It's as if I'm alone in my principles.

It's times like these that I wish I:
a) had a guitar
b) knew how to play the guitar
c) had song writing skills

to write that song. You know, "Alone in My Principles."

La la la la la.
(Now I'm waiting impatiently for somebody to tell me that's kol isha).

Stay tuned for a rant.

Or not.

Nachos

Finals week is always interesting slash depressing.

It's always finals week when...

-pringles and sour sticks are my nutritious dinner
-I wake up with raccoon-like eyes
-the sound of the printer is music to my ears
-shidduch offers begin to roll in. Weird ones, but I guess that's nothing new
-all the fun stuff is going on; weddings, bridal showers, sales @ favorite stores, etc. CAN'T Y'ALL WAIT UNTIL I'M FREE???

So yeah.

Just need to take a deep breath and remember that these are JUST tests. So, okay, my GPA is dependent on them.

BARUCH HASHEM FOR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFEEEEEEE! :)

Little Boys Love Me

I love kids. I do. Really.

Some gals are very mushy gushy when it comes to babies and kids and MUST speak in baby talk language to them.
I don't baby talk.

Okay. Fine. Maybe sometimes. But for the most part, I don't.

One thing I've learned from babysitting/being around kiddos at my friends' homes or by a family for Shabbat is that little boys (mainly between the ages of 3 to 9) have strong feelings towards me. I have no clue why...

It all started in Shul when I was 15. A mischevious little 8 year old boy became obsessed with me. He started off saying insulting remarks to all the girls, throwing things at them, etc. and then one day, he started holding my hand and telling me how wonderful I am.
A look of panic crossed my face. I turned to my friend in desperate need of help -- GET HIM AWAY!!!
But no.
He had plans.
He wanted to marry me.
His most prized posession was the candy that he collected at Shul. Perhaps he would sell the candy to buy me a $5 ring. Real plastic and all.

I tried to run away and avoid him. But it worked to no avail.
I think his infatuation with me finally ended when he grew up & I switched Shuls.

Another boy was a cute little 5 year old of a family I went to for Shabbat. He kept following me around the house and asking if he can stay in the same room as me. No, you may not.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and said "I want to marry you."

The most recent one was an 8 year old who was obsessed with saying that everything is "not tznius!"
Apparently, everything was immodest. Except me.
He handed me a paper flower he made.
He asked me if he can sit by me.
Sure.
Then, as I was reaching for something on the table, he took my hand and kissed it.

My friend was laughing and getting a good kick out of it, but I have yet to learn how to respond to all of these prepubescent affections.

Maybe these boys should give some tips to the "real men" who have commitment-phobia. :D

Holding Back

That's what I've been doing. You see, I have tons of posts just BEGGING me to click the "publish post" orange box thingy.
But...I can't. I'm not sure my editor would approve.

Yet, the thought still lingers. To post or not to post, that is the question.

What I've Learned About "Snow Days"

In no particular order:

1. You might expect to be super productive (clean your room, finish studying, write essays, exercise, etc.) but it's possible you'll neglect all of those goals and instead find yourself surfing the net, talking on the phone, basking in pjamas, etc.
2. Snow Days were way more exciting when you were 10 years old.
3. It's difficult to find somebody who wants to build a snowman with you! Or have snowball fights :(
4. I'm expected to clean the snow. Never mind the fact that I have no idea how to shovel normally, don't own any pair of boots that I want to ruin, and that I'm A WOMAN. When it comes to snow-relating matters, I definitely prefer to live in a male-chauvinistic society.
Apparently, the teenage snow-cleaning boys don't want to make $20 anymore. None of them rang the doorbell. (If anyone knows one who's willing, I'll pay $100-200...)
5. Animal foorprints in the snow really freak me out.
6. People like to bake and cook during snow days. One friend baked danishes, another made blueberry muffins, another made oatmeal cookies and banana cake, and I made... (drumroll please!)
hot chocolate souffle with ice cream on the side.
7. Diets don't apply during snow days.
8. Okay, FINE. You caught me. I didn't really make hot chocolate souffle -- I attempted to make a brownie cake, but because it was dairy and my oven is meat, I quazillioned-triple-abillion-double wrapped it. As a result, most of the cake baked normally, except for the middle -- which resembled chocolate pudding because it didn't quite solidify. The cake (and "pudding") was still hot, so therefore, it kinda qualifies as hot chocolate souffle.
9. Some people actually have the guts to drive in the snow, while my car will probably still be buried until the snow decides to melt.
10. Snow days might be a test from HaShem -- to appreciate His wonders of "nature" and use our free time for shiurim, learning, and chessed opportunities (as Conversations in Klal wisely mentioned -- checking on our ill or elderly neighbors and seeing if they need any help with shoveling or perhaps buying them groceries/food.)
11. This made me laugh: