I recently saw a married friend.
She was pushing her baby stroller down the block and then noticed me.
And chatting time began.
“so, how ‘s dating going?” she asked.
(you can use your imagination about how I answered)
She smiled and told me “you know, when I was dating, the problem was, every guy was interested in me. And every single time, I was like ‘well, I guess, I could be married to him.’”
What she said goes along with my “theory” – it’s easy to get married. It’s not so difficult to find someone who thinks you’re pretty great and wants to spend his life with you. (Sorry, I hope that doesn’t sound obnoxious.)
So, the goal is not just to get married. The goal is to find the right person; the person whom you need. The person who can help you develop to the person that you need to become.
It’s not that I feel like nobody likes me. Or that I don’t get along with anybody.
Sure, I’ve had my share of unsuccessful dates. And just plain ol' WEIRD (not the good kind of weird) experiences. But overall, most of the guys are pretty nice, but just not for me because something is missing. The missing factor is usually due to personality clashes, religious differences, etc.
But it’s never like “omgosh waaa waaa boo hooo, I go out with all these guys, and they’re all amazing and nobody ever likes me!!”
So, sometimes, it makes me wonder.
What’s wrong with me? I mean, I know I’m a weirdo. And a little bit nutty.
Am I a hopeless case?
Am I being too picky?
Should I just “settle”?
The tachlis (love that ashki word!) answer is no. I’m not going to settle. I know that none of these guys are my zivug. I’m looking for the right person for me. My goal is not just marriage. It’s a successful marriage. My true other half; my essence; the person who understands every fiber within me and appreciates me. And that shouldn’t be one sided. I want the passion and empathy to be mutual.
And now, children, it’s time for North & South. Mr. Thornton will allow me to mope with hope.