The Roads We Pave

Ever wonder why we have lines on the palm of our hands? How come animals don't have lines on their paws?

Whatever is in the physical world mirrors what's in the spiritual world. It's to teach us that our neshama also has "lines" on it.

What're these neshama lines?

These neshama lines are our all of our mitzvot (good deeds) and averot (sins). Each time someone does a mitzvah, (s)he creates a positive line on his/her neshama.
That line is called a neshama ROAD.

For example, a person who lit Shabbat candles even once, opened up a road of the mitzvah of Shabbat candles.
A person who, c"vs, does an avera, even ONCE - opens up a road of that particular avera.

Once the road is open, it's extremely difficult to erase it. You can close it by never going through that road again, but that still won't ERASE the road. Only TRUE remorse and repentenance out of love will ERASE that road forever.

That's why - when people say "what's the big deal? I'm just smoking weed ONCE." "What's the big deal? I'm just going to wear this short skirt ONCE." "What's the big deal? I'm just going to miss praying mincha this ONCE." -- not only did that person MISS the opportunity to do a mitzvah AND did an avera, but also this person opened a ROAD of that particular avera. Don't even THINK about doing the avera even once. Because your first time can become a lifetime.

Rabbi Wallerstein explains that that is the reason so many people who were once an alcoholic - are ALWAYS alcoholics and end up going back to AA so many times. They have all of these roads of alcohol and excessive drinking opened in the neshama. Only the few who work very hard at overcoming their passion and lust for drinking and truly truly regret what they did and REPENT are the ones who never go back. The second they take EVEN one drink again - that's it. They're back to be alcoholics.

Once you have so many roads open, it's very easy to get lost on your destination of life. Your destination to Olam Haba. The real world. Afterall, as Pirkei Avot and Mesillat Yesharim so beautifully informs us - this world is just a "posdor" - an enterance to the main ballroom which is Olam Haba.

Oyyyyyy how many roads of averot we all must have.

The good news is: we also have roads of mitzvot. And if we truly regret the roads of averot that we created, then we can completely erase those roads and ONLY have roads of mitzvot.

The Jewish Nation needs to WAKE UP!!!! We live in a world of ACTIONS and CONSEQUENCES. We need to take responsibility for our actions and KNOW the consequences. We are creating so many roads... so so so so many. Countless every day. There is NOWHERE that the body goes WITHOUT the neshama until our last day in this world. Our neshama experiences EVERYTHING that the body does - be it the good or the bad.

HaShem wants every single Jew act holy, because every Jew IS holy, and HaShem wants us all to be close to Him. Our Yetzer Hatov is begging us - keep your neshama ALIVE, and our Yetzer Hara is begging us, BURNING us, please destroy your neshama. Make it as dirty as possible. Open as many terrible, bumpy, dangerous roads as possible.

It's a war.

Expect, unlike a physical war between two nations -- this war requires only our decision. Do I want to be good or bad? Do I think that I'm a neshama or a body? Am I an animal or spiritual being?

The choice is OURS.

Will we let our neshama create positive, sturdy, clean paved roads of mitzvot, or will we let our neshama create negative, dark, dirty, bumpy roads of averot?

It's up to us.
May HaShem give us all Siyata D'Shamaya to successfully fight this battle and only create roads that will take us in a positive direction & closer to the Shechina!

Two paths. ONLY.

Shavuot is my favorite chag for many reasons. Among the top reasons:
1. The "symbol" or "prop" of this Chag is the Torah. Matan Torah...the basis of our lives and purpose in this world. What else could be a greater celebration?
2. Sivan is my favorite month. My birthday is also in Sivan :D
3. Cheesecake. YUM!

Personal favoritism aside, there are countless lessons to learn from this holy time period.

For now, we'll focus on just one, out of the many, in this post. This lesson is taken from a wonderful shiur by Rabbi Wallerstein.

Why do we read Megillat Rut on Shavuot? We're celebrating the fact that we received the Torah. Why are we reading about a righteous convert to Judaism?

One of the "basic" reasons that Megillat Rut is read on Shavuot because David HaMelech came from Rut, and David Hamelech was born on Shavuot and passed away on Shavuot. However, there are much deeper reasons for reading this holy Megillah.
Among them are:
-Mashiach comes from David Hamelech, and one of our goals is to bring Mashiach.
-After Rut converted, a letter "hey" - symbolizing HaShem's Name, and therefore, holiness, was added to her name. Rut + hey = Torah.
-Rut has the gematria of 606, symbolizing that she kept the 7 noahide mitzvot before she was Jewish, and therefore, was a righteous gentile. After she converted, she had to add 606 mitzvot, rsther than 613.
-Rut shows us the loyalty that we should have for HaShem, Torah, Mitzvot, and Am Yisrael - through thick and thin. No matter what.
-Rut teaches us that a person can do teshuva, regardless of what type of background they're coming from!

All of these lessons are wonderful.
I'd like to focus on one that many people might know but not internalize the importance of it: Megillat Rut teaches us the importance of making decisions. How ONE decision can change our lives completely - for the better, or for the worse. For life or for death. For victory or for defeat. For closeness to HaShem or, chas v'shalom, richuk - disconnection/feeling far - from HaShem.

Rut and Orpah were both non-Jewish women who were married to Naomi's two sons, who both died.
Now, Naomi, the Jewess, and Rut and Orpah, two goyish widowers were left alone.
Rut and Orpah could've:
1. Leave Naomi and stay together
2. Part ways completely
3. Both go away with Naomi
4. Individually take two separate directions. One making the wrong decision, and one making the right decision.

They were both coming from the same exact place. Both non-Jewish, princesses of moav, both widowers, both alone with their mother-in-law. However, ONE decision make the difference between victory and defeat.
What decision was that?

Naomi was leaving to Eretz Yisrael. She had to leave the mental state that she was in. Naomi told Rut and Orpah - I'm leaving. I have nothing here. Go home. Go back to your parents.
What did Rut and Orpah do?
Orpah kissed Naomi, and she left.
Rut did the complete opposite. She didn't LEAVE her mother in law. She said your nation is my nation, your G-d is my G-d; I'm sticking with you. I'm NOT leaving you!

There's a Midrash that tells us that Orpah was with A THOUSAND men AND a dog that night. HaShem Yerachem! She fell so low! She went from being so close to leaving with her mother-in-law to Eretz Yisrael, and she fell to the lowest level that a person can be. She became pregnant that night, and we learn that she had a child: goliat. Goliat was a giant who attacked Klal Yisrael, and he made fun of G-d in public.
His nemesis, the only one who would stand up to him - was David Hamelech, who came from the righteous Rut.

So, we learn, from the one decision of whether to go with Naomi or not - two children were conceived:
one, Goliat, an evil plishti giant. A rasha who is remembered and recorded as such even now - thousands of years later.
And a second - David Hamelech. The king of Israel. A tzadik. The father of Mashiach!

From this ONE step away from her mother in law, and therefore, Judaism, Orpah caused destruction. From Rut's ONE step closer to her mother in law, and therefore, Judaism, she caused victory and geula (redemption).
Yetzer Hara tells us it's just a little bit. Just miss minyan this once. Just wear a shorter skirt this once. Just eat this non-kosher food this once. Just speak this one word of lashon hara.
NO! That one time is DESTRUCTION. That one time then psychologically causes validity. That one time can completely make a person fall and make it extremely difficult to be on the derech again.

As Jews, as HaShem's children, we must ALWAYS think about every move we make. Every word that comes out of our mouthes, every piece of food that enters our mouthes, every sound that enters our ears, every image our eyes seen.
NOTHING is just neutral.

The Tanya explains beautifully that everything in this world can be categorized into just TWO categories:
Sitra D'achra and Sitra D'Kedusha.
Sitra d'achra is anything that leads you to feel FARTHER away from HaShem. It can be something small. Even a song.
Sitra d'kedusha is anything that leads us to be closer to holiness, and therefore, closer to HaShem.

There is NOTHING that is just neutral. A Jew's mission in this world is not to be neutral and just chill all day.
Every day our goal should be to grow closer and closer to HaShem.
The Asher Yatzar of today should not be the same Asher Yatzar of 5 years ago. Just like when we're friends with someone for longer, we feel like we know them way better, so too - with HaKadosh Baruch Hu!
It's a relationship that requires wise decision and planning.
Where's our manual, or directory, about what leads to closeness to HaShem and what leads to richuk?
The Torah. Our minds. Our feelings. (In that order.)

Melech, a king, has the letters of Mem, Lamed, and Chaf. Kelev, a dog, has those same letters rearranged. Kaf, Lamed, Mem.
The Mem stands for Moach (mind/brain: logic)
The Lamed stands for Lev (heart: emotions)
The Chaf stands for Klayot (liver: desires)

When one allows his logic to control his emotions and then his logic + emotions to control his desires - then he is a MELECH, a king, over himself.
BUT
if someone allows his desires to control his emotions, and his emotions to control his logic - then he is no better than a DOG, who clearly can't control his desires.

THAT is the importance of Megillat Rut. A decision made in a split second has such power. Ohhhh if we'd only realize our potential. Our power!
The power of words, the power of a smile, the power of keeping the mitzvot, and the power of our averot!
It is written that if a man REALLY knew how terrible an avera was - he would NEVER dare to do it. That's why chazal tell us a "ruach shtut" (a foolish spirit) comes upon a person who wants to do an avera. There's no way that someone who acts like a melech can allow himself to do an avera.
Always ask yourself - is what I'm doing going to help me grow closer or farther from my Father in Heaven?


May HaShem bless all of us to have clarity and make the proper decisions in the proper fashion, and therefore, be kings over our desires, and may we all merit to be close to Him!

Forced Happiness?!

Yay, it's Rosh Chodesh Adar!
As a kid, I remember Adar was so exciting because of the anticipation of Purim. We would sing songs in school, I would think about all of the yummy goodies that we would receive in the mishloach manot, we'd have a Purim carnival in school where the kiddos could win all types of neat prizes, and of course, there was the costume -- which kid didn't want a cool original costume?!

But now...
as people (myself included) get older...
it's a challenge to be happy. It's a challenge to be happy, in general. Now comes Adar and Chazal require us to be HAPPIER than in general!
Ok, first of all, how can I be happy in general?
Second of all, how can I force myself to be happier?
(so, regarding the first question - see the post "true happiness"
If you're not in the mood to read it...then just know that true happiness = closeness to HaShem through KNOWLEDGE about HaShem/Torah/mitzvot.)

Now, how can I force myself to be happiER?
More Torah. More closeness to HaShem.
But what if I just can'ttttttttttttt? What if I work really hard, I'm tired, I'm lazy, and just fed up with the world?

"Yom HaKippurim" means a day "k'purim" - a day LIKE Purim. That means Yom Kippur is COMPARED to Purim. How can Yom Kippur, a biblical holiday, be compared to Purim, a rabbinical holiday?
Because Purim has unfathomable levels of holiness.
In fact, Chazal even tell us that Purim is one of the only holidays that will remain after Mashiach arrives.
Now, why the comparison between Purim and Yom Kippur?
There's a moving story I heard in a shiur by Rabbi Eli Mansour that beautifully answers this question.
There was a Rabbi, during the time of the Holocaust, whose wife and children were murdered by the Nazis. He was in the concentration camp, the Nazis were cruel and inhumane to all of the Jews, the conditions and weather were both terrible -- it was a dark period where very little light could be seen.
And the month of Adar was approaching.

His Talmidim said "Rebbe, it's almost Adar! Chazal teach us 'mi shenichnas adar, marbim b'simcha' - whoever enters Adar increases his joy. But Rebbe, how can we be happy during such terrible times of adversity?"
The Rabbi answered "Chazal tell us that Yom Kippur compares to Purim. On Yom Kippur, no Jew would say "eh, I'm not in the mood to fast. I'm not in the mood to pray. I'll just do my own Yom Kippur in a few weeks from now...when I'm in the mood." No Jew would say that! He knows that regardless of how weak or tired or sad he is, he must FAST and PRAY because NOW is the time for Yom Kippur - not next week! So too, now is the time for Adar! NOW is the time for happiness! Not in a week from now, in a few months from now, or when we get liberated. WE need to FORCE ourselves to be happy. Just like we force ourselves on Yom Kippur to do what we need to do."
And that Adar and Purim was an unforgettable one in the camp. They were happier than ever before.

We have the Koach. HaShem wants us to be close to Him, and He wants us to be happy. It's all up to US!

May all of Klal Yisrael have a chodesh tov u'mevorach, full of unlimited simcha. May we all merit to grow closer to HaShem with each and every day, and receive the geula this month! Happy Adar :)

Dating Advice

I wrote this post a while ago. These concepts are from a wonderful shiur by Rabbi Eliyahu Kin. I found it very helpful, and I hope y'all will as well.

Before a person dates, (s)he needs to be ready. There're three prerequisites a person should fulfill in order to be ready:
1. Not be picky (being particular about a certain look, financial income, etc.)
2. Not purposely delay marriage. (For example: I'm not dating now -- I'm too busy with my masters. When I finish my masters, I'll date.)
3. One must examine his deeds and make sure he's done his best to keep the Torah and mitzvot.

Why?

Because there're many individuals whom you can be compatible with, but there's only ONE who is best for you.
People are only shaliachs. HaShem is the One Who makes the shidduchim. Only He knows which 2 individuals match well together.
If a person isn't acting on their "best" behavior and working towards growth, then that person will not receive the best possible zivug. You're matched based on your current deeds. HaShem sends you the best possible match at a given time.

Now, let's say all 3 conditions are met. What do we do now??

1. PRAY!
Chazal quote a pasuk that says one should always turn to HaShem. One should pray because prayer can change any degree, regardless of what a person's mazal is.

One should pray that HaShem should please send him the best possible match; the right person who will also be a good person.

During Shemah Kolenu and the "yehi ratzon" at the end of the amida, a person should have zivug in mind, but he doesn't have to word it out.

Simple concepts a a man should have in mind:
-I want a wooman who will be an eshet chayil, who will be a good mother to my kids, and someone with whom I can build a bayit ne'eman b'yisrael.

Sefer Hassidim teaches to pray for your children to have good zivugim.

2. HISHTADLUT

Hishtadlut shows HaShem that we are serious about finding our spouses.

The Chazon Ish taught that tefillah is more important than hishtadlut.

3. TZDAKA

Men should give tzdaka at Shul when they go for minyan. Women should give tzdaka before lighting candles for Shabbat.
Charity can hasten the results; it makes a person's tefillah be heard all the more so.

4. CRY

The gates of tears are never locked.
Tears are an expression of the emotions of the heart.


And most importantly, NEVER give up. Ye'ush (despair) is one of the most crushing emotions an individual can experience.
Daven. If the situation gets more difficult, daven harder. If it's nearly unbearable, daven x100000000!

Modern Day Korach

I saw a great quote (on a magnet!) about Shabbat. It read: Shabbos (Shabbat) is a day ON; not a day OFF.

So, Parashat Korach.
I think many people read this Parasha and wonder "what was Korach thinking? Didn't he clearly see that Moshe was the chosen prophet? That G-d's Word was so clear? How could he have had the chutzpah to rebel and so clearly trangress?"
It seems perplexing at first, but if one really delves into the psychology, it's very understandable. When a person thinks he's right, he'll find a way to
rationalize his actions. Not only rationalize them, but he'll even claim (and find proof!) for why it's a MITZVAH to act in the manner that he's acting.

Korach was so certain that he was right and holy. In fact, he made sure that all 250 men were "holy" according to his standards. He rejected On ben Pelet because his wife uncovered her hair! Chas v'shalom that he would have a man in his "holy group" whose wife was NOT MODEST!

He was blinded by his own ego and perceptions. And that is exactly what led to his scary punishment -- being swallowed by the earth!

From this incident, we learn how terrible Machloket (strife) can be. It can lead to a person's complete demise. Strife destroys a person; it blurs his vision. It dehumanizes him.
Peace, on the other hand, is integral. We continuously pray for peace (in Birkat Kohanim, in the Amida, in Birkat Hamazon, etc.) A person MUST have peace in order to thrive and be happy.

How much effort does one need to make to pursue peace?
Should one ever give up and say "I can't make Shalom with this person! I'm never going to have peace with him!"??
What if the person is "beneath" him? Be it religiously, socially, financially, etc.? What if the other person is his own STUDENT? What if the other person is clearly the one who WRONGED him?

Let's see what Moshe Rabbeinu did in this week's Parasha...
Korach rebels against Moshe. He blatantly goes against Moshe and HaShem's commandments. Korach was so sure that he was right and that Moshe was wrong.
And guess what?
Moshe Rabbeinu, the holiest Navi, the Gadol of that time, the chief Rabbi, the only person to speak with G-d "panim el panim" went to pursue peace with Datan v'Aviram (who were part of Korach's group.)
If Moshe was willing to seek peace with his fellow Jews, how much more so should we be willing to seek peace with anyone and everyone.
If someone wronged you, you should ALWAYS be the one to rekindle the friendship. You should ALWAYS be the one to forgive.
Never let pride get in the way.

Aharon HaCohen was "ohev shalom v'rodef shalom" -- he loved peace AND pursued it.
Chazal teach us an amazing story about Aharon HaCohen. He heard about a husband and wife who were fighting. The husband told his wife "I will never forgive you unless you spit in the eye of the Cohen HaGadol!" (he probably didn't intend the for the literal meaning. That phrase was probably used as an expression of "I'm never going to forgive you" -- kind of like how we say "the day when pigs fly...) Aharon heard about this and went up the wife and told her "I have a rare eye condition, and I need somebody to spit in my eye to cure it. Can you please do so?"
Wow.
WOW.
If Aharon, the COHEN HAGADOL, one of the holiest men, a prophet, Moshe Rabbenu's brother, was willing to "give up" his honor just to restore peace and respect between two fellow Jews, how much more so should we be willing to humble ourselves? To sacrafice our honor? Our egos? Our prejudices? Our pride?
It's a lot easier said than done. But B"H we learn from our great role models that it is possible and attainable.

May we always emulate the ways of Moshe and Aharon and never the ways of Korach v'adato!
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevorach :)

Emunah Essentials

EMUUUUUUNNNNAAAHH!!! What a concept. WOWWW.

I heard most of the following ideas from a fantastic & inspiring shiur by Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser.

Chazal teach us that Shamai would go out daily and seek something nice for Shabbat. He would find a nice object, like a fruit or vegetable, and say "l'kavod Shabbat" & set it aside. Then the next day, he would go out and when he would find something even nicer than what he found during the previous day, he would say "l'kavod Shabbat." And that was one of his daily goals: find something nice for Shabbat.

Hillel, on the other hand, would go out on EREV SHABBAT and simply have emunah that he would find something l'kavod Shabbat. And he would find something every week.

So, who had a higher level of emunah?
THEY BOTH HAD EMUNAH!
So should an individual wait to see if (s)he finds something better or take the good that he finds immediately when he finds it? Should a person wait until the last minute? What if he won't find what he's looking for?

The answer is EMUNAH!
There's a quote from Tehillim => "they trusted HaShem, and HaShem made sure they weren't embarrassed."
Chazal teach us => "the tzaddik decrees and HaKadosh Baruch Hu fulfills!"

A person has to trust in HaShem and know that HaShem is "kol yachol." He can give anything to anybody. Nothing is beyond HaKadosh Baruch Hu; He has no limits. HaShem has the ability to give us all that we want. There is NOTHING that can't happen. A person should fill his heart with emunah.

One of the three questions a person is asked when he goes to Shamayim is: "did you deal "b'emunah?"
In this context, "b'emunah" is usually defined as business/dealings. Was the person honest in business? Did he cheat? Did he lie to his customers, to his shidduch prospects, etc.
However, there's another way to intrepret "b'emunah." LITERALLY - did you deal with YOUR faith?
Did you leave your emunah the way you got it in 2nd grade, or did you try to make it deeper? Did you try to grow? Did you try to learn about wha ta person should believe? Did you try to work on your middot and hashkafah and know that everything in our lives is Hashgacha Pratit?

The reason we don't know the reasoning for everything is in order to BUILD our emunah! If we knew the reasons for everything, then we would be HaShem. He's the only One Who knows!

Each individual is a ben yechidi or bat yechida (only child) of HaShem. There is NOTHING that is impossible for Him, and therefore, a person should always speak and pray to HaShem. Even for "minute" things -- because there is nothing that we can accomplish without His help!
A person should tell HaShem the following: "this is what I'm asking for. If it's good for me, please make it happen. If not, then please don't let it happen."

And if you didn't get it, then that means it wasn't right for you at the moment. A person with big emunah knows that what happens right now or doesn't happen is hashgacha.

Chovot Halevavot teaches us that the more a person can trust in HaShem, the more HaShem will protect him.

It behooves every individual to call out to HaShem and say "HaShem, You're my Father in Heaven! There's no one ELSE who can help me! It's not that I have plans A, B, C, and D. I only have plan A - HaShem! I am completely dependent on You, HaShem!"

If one approaches life with that outlook, (s)he will notice tremendous Hashgacha Pratit in life.

You have unlimited potential once you know that your strength comes from your connection with your Creator.

May Flowers

Each Jew represents one letter in the sefer Torah. If even one letter is missing in a sefer Torah, then that sefer is pasul and can't be used. Similarly, every single member of Klal Yisrael is significant. If even one is on your hate/grude/lashon hara list, then Klal Yisrael is not complete. If there is hate among Am Yisrael, then it is as if we are creating a pasul Sefer Torah!

We are now in the mourning period during sefirat haomer. (According to some, the mouring starts in chodesh Iyar.) We remember Rabbi Akiva's 24,000 students who perished because they disrespected each other. The Gmara refers to them not as 24,000 students, rather as 12,000 pairs. There's a great question about this Gmara. Why use the fancy language of 12,000 PAIRS? Why not just outright state 24,000?
A possible answer is that each individual respected his other half/pair (ie: chavruta). However, when it came to other people - the respect wasn't there.
A person's chavruta thinks similarly to him. It's easy to respect those who are similar to us and respect us. However, the challenge arises when our fellow Jew is DIFFERENT from us.

In this past week's parsha, parshat Kedoshim, HaShem teaches us the mitzvah of "v'ahavta l're'acha kamocha" - love your fellow Jew as you love yourself. It is no coincidence that this commandment falls during sefirat haomer/the mourning period. How can we deal with those who frustrate us? Be it because of personality, religious, social/ethnic clashes, etc.
-We must try to find the positive attributes in every person. Nobody is perfect, but there is also nobody who is completely flawed.
-Try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Ask yourself - "if I were him/her, how would I feel in this situation?" Find a benefit of the doubt/zchut/excue/rationalization for their behavior.
-You do not need to AGREE with a person in order to love him/her. You can say "I neither like nor agree with the lifestyle/attitude this person has." You can love someone who is sinning, irritating, rude, etc. Hate the dreadful action, not the person.

Shavua tov u'mevurach!

Journey To Sweetness :)

Well, I'm sure everyone is busy preparing for Pesach. I went to three (that's right - three!!) kosher supermarkets on Sunday, and baruch HaShem, they were all PACKED with all kinds of Jews. I'm always excited to shop for Pesach because I like food, and it fascinates me to see what all the new Passover recipes/food ideas that companies come up with.
This year, one of the supermarkets brought in special stuffad0o0o from Israel for the Sefardim who eat kitniyot. So, Sefardi Gal's household contains techina and humus this year...and chocolate covered nuts. Sweeeeet! (For all the Ashkenazim - don't worry. I saw a lot of tasty cakes, too :D)

I looked around and even though I had to wait on the long line, I was smiling. I was (and am) so happy and proud to be Jewish. Pesach is one of the holidays that many not-yet-observant Jews celebrate. Klal Yisrael is putting in hishtadlut to keep Pesach! We're willing to wait on long lines, pay a lot of money, empty out our fridges and freezers, clean, cook, search our homes, burn the chametz, tovel our dishes/buy new dishes, have a seder, invite guests, eat matzah, etc.

I heard a beautiful and moving shiur by Rabbi Wallerstein about Pesach. (If anyone has 48-50 minutes, like while you're cleaning, cooking, or setting the table, I highly recommend the shiur. Even 10 minutes of it will inspire you!)

Chazal teach us that there are a few types of "new years" throughout the year. Tu b'shvat is the new year for the trees, Rosh Hashana (Tishrei) is the new year, and Pesach (Nissan) is the new year for the months.
On both Rosh Hashana and Pesach, we have special foods and blessings that we make. The foods are often put on a special plate, and IDK about y'all, but sometimes I get confused and need to be reminded about which foods are used for which holiday.
These foods are called "simanim" - signs.


So, what's the point of simanim (the various foods we eat on Rosh Hashana and Pesach)??

Suppose there's a Jew who did tons of averot all year long: he broke Shabbat, ate non-kosher, often gossiped, lied, spoke LH, cheated, etc.
And then comes Rosh Hashana...and he takes the apple, dips it in honey, and says "l'shana tova u'metukah!" -- so ummm...just because he dipped the apple in the honey, he's going to have a sweet new year?? If he doesn't do teshuva and continues with his sinful ways, is his year automatically going to be sweet just because of the apple and honey? What difference does an apple dipped in honey make in his life?! It's just food!

A man wanted to buy something beautiful for his wife. He heard about a bird called the mynah bird. The mynah bird was known to be quite expensive, and the rich and important people all bought the mynah bird. The man looked at the bird - pretty, small, delicate. He decided to save up enough money and surprise his dear wife with this extravagant gift. He went up to the seller and asked "tell me, sir, how much does this bird cost?"
"$5,000" responded the seller.
$5,000 was quite a high price, but the man resolved that he would buy it because his wife is worthy of such a gift.
So, he saved up the $ and bought the bird. He happily walked home with it and came home with a huge smile. "Honey, I bought you a wonderful gift!"
His wife saw the bird, and her husband proudly told her "cut and clean this bird up, stick it in the oven with your delicious sauce and lemons and potatoes!"
He set up a beautiful candle-lit table with their finest china and silverware, and there was a rich aroma in the house. He was so excited for his wife to taste the bird that he saved up so much for. All for her enjoyment.
She put the dish on the table, and it was evident that there wouldn't be any second portions because without the feathers, and especially after being cooked, the bird was tiny.
Her husband anxiously cuts the bird in half, gives the bigger half to his wife, puts some for himself and waits for her to take the first delicious bite. She places a piece into her mouth, and within a second, spits it out. "Ugh! Blech! This bird tastes awful! It's sweet and gooey!"
Her husband couldn't believe what he was hearing! How can the $5,000 bird, that is enjoyed by so many emperors, kings, and important people, taste so horrendous?? He takes a bite and also spits it out. He was shocked!

The next day, he angrily storms into the store where he bought the mynah bird. He begins to yell at the seller "what kind of defected bird did you sell me?! I demand my money back!"
The seller looked surprised. "Sir, are you not enjoying the mynah bird's singing? It should be singing beautifully!"
"SINGING?!?! What are you talking about?! We cooked it and ate it!"
Suddenly, the man had a rush of realization. The mynah bird was admired for its' singing. It is not a bird that is meant to be eaten.
He left the store feeling embarrassed; he knew that he completely missed the point of the bird's true value.

At the Seder, what do some people do?
They eat the matzah and then comment "awww man! The shmura that you bought last year was so much tastier."
They eat the charoset and say "mmmm how sweet." or "Eh. I like the apple charoset better."
They eat the marror and say "ugh! I hate romaine lettuce!" or comment on the texture/crunchiness.
While a Dvar Torah is going on, they might tune out and just think "hey, when can we eat already?"

Much like the man who ate the mynah bird, instead of listening to it sing, they are MISSING THE POINT.
The point of the simanim is to awaken ourselves spiritually. Food has a certain unique strength -- it has the ability to change our taste. It's able to somewhat shift an individual's mood. Food can bring a certain dosage of simcha to a person's life (think about how cranky some people can be if they don't have their morning coffee, or if they skip 1 or 2 meals). Researchers have shown that chocolate, for example, triggers feel-good chemicals in the body. (Post-break up chocolate brownie fudge ice-cream, anyone?)
Food enters our body through our mouthes/taste buds, our throats, and then enters our stomachs. We can literally feel it, and therefore, the connection is very tangible.
So, Chazal instructed us to eat. But we eat in order to FEEL it. What is "it"? "It" = the proper thoughts we're supposed to be thinking when eating the simanim. The right kavanot (intentions). Simanim are a tool for us to feel and think about the proper emotions and thoughts pertaining to the holiday.

When we eat matzah, we should close our eyes as we're chewing and think about the Jews rushing to leave Egypt and not having enough time for the bread to rise. Matzah's purpose is to remind us of that! The Jews were being redeemed and leaving Egypt. Egypt was THEIR galut -- but what is our galut? Our galut is whatever problems we have...be it financial, marital, spiritual, physical, etc.
We need to think about our own issues and think -- just like G-d helped the Jews leave Egypt, G-d can help ME leave my own personal Egypt! He can help me get through this difficult time!"

When we eat the marror, we're supposed to think about their pain and bitterness. The Jews were enslaved, their babies were murdered...
can you imagine their tefillot? Their tears? Did they ever think they would get through it? Did they ever think they'd be free?
How about ourselves -- do we pray? Do we cry? Do we believe that if HaShem brought us to it - He can bring us through it?

When we eat the egg, we should remember the Korban that we're not able to bring because WE DON'T HAVE A BEIT HAMIKDASH! HaShem does not have a home. We should close our eyes and for at least a few moments, think about HaShem's pain. We should think about how awesome it would be to have a Beit HaMikdash...to see the Kohanim dressed in their beautiful clothing, to hear the Leviim singing and using their angelic voices to praise HaShem, to see the open miracles, the avoda, to see all of Klal Yisrael united...

(There are many, many literal and mystical reasons for each siman. The above concepts are just a few of many incredible explanations. I recommend reading the commentary of a Hagaddah -- if you still have time, purchase one with commentary! It can really completely change your Passover for the better.)

Bottom-line: It's not just food. Simanim are tools for us to grow closer to HaShem. The main point is NOT just to eat them. They're there to serve as facilitators for our spirituality and closeness to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The simanim should make somewhat of a change in our lives and make us more aware. It's upto YOU - how much of a difference to you want the simanim to make in your life? If there's a will, there's a way!

May HaShem redeem all of us from our personal galuyot, and of course, from our national galut. May He please send us Mashiach Ben-David and Ben-Yosef speedily in our times in a peaceful way!
Wishing you all a Chag Kasher v'Sameach!

1 More Cry

I was listening to a shiur about emunah, by one of my favorite speakers, Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser. In the shiur, he shared an incredible story about a man whom he knows personally. The man was married for 20 years and couldn't have children. 20 years! We should never know of such pain -- month after month, year after year, for 20 whole years waiting to have just one child.
This man prayed every single day in shemoneh esreh. He begged HaShem for a child. Please HaShem.
Please.
My child will grow up in the ways of Torah and mitzvot.
My child will be a tzadik (or tzadika)
I will love my child.
I will try and be the best parent.
Please HaShem! Have mercy. Have pity. Give me a child. Please. I'm begging of You. A zera chaya v'kayama.

Every day, he continued these sincere tefillot.

Until one day, on the 20th year of him and his wife being barren without any children -- he came to a resolution: enough tefillot. "I am no longer going to pray for a child. I've done enough. How many tefillot did I pray already?? How many thousands of shemoneh esrehs did I pray asking, begging, pleading? 20 years is enough. Apparently it is not destined that I should have a child, so I'm going to stop asking."
And so, he began shemoneh esreh, determined not to "give in" and ask HaShem for a child. He got up to "Shemah Kolenu" -- still set on not praying for children. It was quiet in the Shul. As he was in the middle of the "Shemah Koleinu" section, he heard the cry of a baby.
"What on earth? Am I hearing things? It's 6 AM, on a week day, and I'm in Shul! There's no baby here!"
As he was brushing off this notion, figuring that it was just his imagination, he heard a cry again.

And then he broke down in tears. How much he wants to hear a baby's cry in his own home! He cried and couldn't stop sobbing; he begged HaShem, with more fervor than ever in the past 20 years, for a child.
When he got home, he told his wife what happened at Shul. She began to cry and said it's a sign from HaShem -- they shouldn't stop praying!

Exactly 10 months later, she had a healthy baby!

You may be wondering -- so was there really a baby? Was it just his imagination?
The man later found out the truth:
there was a real baby in the Shul. A man brought his baby son to Shul because the baby didn't sleep all night long, and his wife was exhausted. She barely got any sleep and had a very difficult night. Finally, the baby fell asleep in the morning, and the husband wanted to ease his wife's stress and allow her to sleep peacefully - so he took the baby to Shul, figuring that since he was asleep, he wouldn't disturb anyone. The whole time, the baby was quiet, EXCEPT for those two moments during Shema Kolenu.
This man did a chessed for his wife, and in turn, he did a chessed for this barren couple.

Look at how much HaShem loves us - He cares about each one of us so much that he sends us individual wake up calls. He never gives up on us. Even if we feel that our tefillot aren't being answered, we must continue praying. It's never valid to STOP praying simply because you give up.
Why must we continue praying? Because our prayers are being answered - with a yes, no, or a maybe. Maybe now. Maybe later. It's similar to filling up a bottle of water - drop after drop.
Today's tefillah can be that last drop to finally fill up the bottle!

HaShem runs the world

A friend of mine shared a beautiful insight with me:
there's no such thing as a possibility of 50%. There're only two percentages that exist. Everything in life is either 0% or 100%. Either HaShem wants it for you - or He doesn't! Something can scale at 0% today but be 100% tomorrow. And vice versa. That is to show us that we're fully dependent on HaShem, and He controls the world.

This Shabbat is b"H "Shabbat Shira" -- the "shira" reference is from this week's Parsha; in Parshat Beshalach, Bnei Yisrael sang "Az Yashir" to thank G-d for the miracle of kriyat yam suf (splitting of the reed sea). Chazal teach us that making matches/dating/finding your spouse is likened to kriyat yam suf. It's just as arduous to find that right guy (or gal) --as it is to split the sea.
But wait!
How on earth is that possible? Afterall, NOTHING is difficult for HaShem. He doesn't "sweat"! He's All Mighty. He's all powerful. He's the Master-Of-The-Universe. The splitting of the sea isn't any more difficult for HaShem than creating a wind breeze for a second.
So how can shidduchim be difficult for Him???
The answer is that shidduchim ARE easy for HaShem to make; Chazal are not referring to HaShem's actual matching and formation of shidduchim. Rather, they're referring to emunah! Just like it was difficult for Bnei Yisrael to keep up their emunah in HaShem when they were faced with tons of Egyptian soldiers and had nowhere to run, so too it is difficult to have emunah in HaShem when one is looking for his or her spouse.
When faced with adversity, people can begin to have misconceptions about the solution. For example: I'll only find my zivug when I meet this well-known-shadchan-who-made-100-matches, when I lose x amount of weight, when I have a higher paying job, etc. That mentality is flawed. That person is placing his emunah in the shadchan and his own power...not HaShem's power! We need to know that although we must do our hishtadlut, ultimately, it is HaShem who sends us our zivugim! It's either 100% or 0%; either He thinks it's the right time for us, or He doesn't.

Around a year ago, I attended a wonderful shiur about this parasha that really made a difference in my life. The Rabbi explained that hope is the essence of a successful person. Before the splitting of the sea, many members of Bnei Yisrael panicked -- "what will happen to us??! Will the Egyptians all murder us now?!"
But Nachson ben Aminadav didn't panic; he jumped into the (unsplit) ocean. After he jumped in, the sea split!
His action prompted the miracle because he trusted in HaShem; he KNEW HaShem is helping and will help them. The truly successful individual is the one who knows where his success comes from. If you have hope and emunah in HaShem, you're set. You will do well in school. You will get married. You will have children. You will have a parnassah. Just (as the Journey song preaches) -- "don't stop believing!"

HaShem loves us and is taking care of us, so don't give up! Keep trying with your full 100%.

It's a segulah (especially for finding your zivug) to recite "Az Yashir" in Shul this Shabbat -- Shabbat Shira -- with extra kavana! B"H all of our tefillot should be answered l'tova.

Shabbat shalom :)

Are You a Beeper or a Pusher?

Rabbi Fischel Shachter related a touching story. His car got stuck in the middle of a hill in boro park on a Friday afternoon. Cars were honking and beeping at him, and a truck behind him stopped. The driver was a chassidish man, and he asked Rabbi Shachter what the problem is. When he found out that the Rabbi Shachter's brakes stopped, he turned around and said to the drivers: "what are you all waiting for? Get out and push!" And around a dozen men got out and pushed his car all the way to the mechanic.

Rabbi Shachter shared a profound thought that occurred to him at that moment. After 120, when you go up to Shamayim, you will be asked what kind of person you were in this world.
There are two categories: those who honk & beep and those who get out & push.

In other words: are you a person who gets angry, depressed, and frustrated when you deal with adversity, or do you try to make a difference and actively make the best out of your situation?

If someone upsets or offends you, do you get mad at them and lash out at them? Or do you try to give them the benefit of the doubt, do your best to forgive them, and pray for them to have opportunities to do teshuva and grow closer to HaShem?

If you hear that someone is sick, do you just say "aw man, that's too bad" or "that's terrible! Why him?!" or "wow, he needs as many teflliot as he can get! I'm going to say a perek of Tehillim for him." And if you can't say a perek of Tehillim - how about a heartfelt tefillah in your own words? "HaShem, I just heard that my fellow Jew, ploni ben ploni, is ill. How much pain he must be in...
please, G-d, Master of the Universe, send him a speedy and full recovery. Please help him feel better."

There are people who scream. And then there are those who push.

The one who mainly beeps (screams) is just reacting a lot and giving in to his impulses, but l'maaseh, he doesn't DO anything to change his situation for the better. If anything, his negative reaction just make his situation worse and even more disasterous! At that point, he gives into despair. He's pessimistic, he's helpless.
The one who pushes, however, proactively hopes for the better. He has emunah, he prays, he's optimistic, and he fights through the situation, building his character and improving his situation! He knows that everything is for the best and that he can make a change. Nothing is out of the reach of his potential!

You have to keep going in life to get anywhere! Trust in HaShem; He runs the world. He is the best friend you can ever have. He's never too busy for you; He's always there for you...24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He's understanding, merciful, forgiving, kind, giving, and All Mighty. He knows your each and every fiber, thought, and emotion. Your financial situation, your health, your family, your maritial status, your grades at school -- He completely knows your situation; there are no secrets with Him. Nothing is impossible for Him. He loves you more than you can even fathom.

As David Hamelech writes in Tehillim: "G-d is close to all who call upon Him."

Shavua tov :)

Mi K'amcha K'Yisrael?

Baruch HaShem, I recently heard a life changing shiur.

Here's a very moving snippet of the amazing shiur:

A girl asked Rabbi Wallerstein -- "if HaShem loves us so much, then why did He give us 613 restrictions, while the goyim get 7 mitzvot bnei noach? If I had two children, and I loved one more than the other, I would give my beloved, favored son 7 simple chores and give the less loved one 613 chores/commands! So how can you possibly say that mitzvot are treasures and means to get closer to HaShem? How can we possibly enjoy doing them? How are they NOT burdensome?

The Rabbi's beautiful answer:

A big broadway producer, who won many awards and had a prestigious and honorable reputation in show business, was producing a new play that consisted mainly of dancing. During the auditions, she saw dancer, after dancer, after dancer. She didn't see the "wow" factor in any -- they were all ordinary dancers, and she was searching for an amazing dancer. A STAR. All of the sudden, one dancer comes in and WOWS the whole crowd. There were dance moves that were never even seen before, and the choreography was extremely unique. The producer was in awe. She jumped up and excitedly told the dancer "in my 40 years of show business, I have never seen anybody who has so much talent. You've got the part! This play will involve very rigorous dance moves, to show off your incredible talent and stun the audience. It will involve 613 different routines, and out of the three hours that the play consists of, you will be in just about every scene; almost three hours! 613 different moves all in one play! So, are you interested? Are you up for the challenge?"

The dancer thought about it. How she'll be written about in the magazines and receive wonderful reviews from critics. Sure, the rehearsals would be difficult and take a lot of work, but it's worth it! It's such an honor to be selected by a broadway producer and to show your talent to the world.
Every performer wants MORE time on stage. She would be the leader; the star! Of course, she gladly took the part.

The producer called over one of the ordinary dancers who auditioned. "You've got a part in the play. You'll have to practice a few basic dance moves, and basically, you'll perform for 7 seconds out of the 3 hour show. Are you interested?" It was broadway, of course, so she took the part. Afterall, 7 seconds is better than none!

This show went on for 20 years and continued to get great and raving reviews. The producer and dancer became extremely close to each other. She knew the dancer's every move -- when she was upset, when she was happy, which dance move was in which scene, etc. What was the producer's relationship with the 7 second dancer? Existing and significant, but in comparison to the main star, barely comparable!

This is a mashal to our relationship with HaShem. It is a privilege! He went to different nations, and they all said they can't be the main dancer (the main nation) in this play (the world). They asked HaShem what's in the Torah, and when He told them, they declined His offer. So, instead of giving them the Holy Torah with 613 mitzvot, He gave each nation 7 mitzvot.
The last one to audition in the big play, (the 6,000 years of this world), was Am Yisrael. HaShem said "show me your best!" -- and they said "Naaseh veh Nishma." And then HaShem said - "you've got the job! I'll give you 613 movements to practice for the play, and each movement in the dance will bring you closer to Me."

How can one complain that (s)he got the main part in the play, instead of the 7 seconds? One's outlook should be: I want to dance for HaShem every day! Every moment that I possibly can! I want to be on that stage. I want to be the main dancer, the main singer, the main actor. The main star! Who wants the 7 second job?
We need to view mitzvot as absolute treasures. 613 precious treasures. 613 guidelines towards our mission in this world. They're expressions of love for HaShem and appreciation for choosing us to be the Am Segulah. They're not 613 chores, chas v'shalom!

When one has this outlook, how can (s)he ever resent a mitzvah? On the contrary,(s)he looks forward to every mitzvah! (S)he looks forward to take every opportunity to pray, to help someone, to make a bracha, to learn more about Judaism; all in order to form (and keep) a relationship with HaShem.
The Jewe prides himself on good middot and strong emunah. The Jewess is a princess; the Jew is a prince. All of our fellow Jews are fellow princesses and princes and should be treated as such. All because HaShem is our King.

As Rabbi Benzion Klatzko beautifully said in his shiur -- "Judaism is not a religion. It's a relationship!"

With that outlook in mind, what is Shabbat? Shabbat is 25-26 hours of connecting to HaShem on every level! It has all the joys of the world that we can possibly experience, and holiness that is beyond basic comprehension. Shabbat is about tefillah, rest from the MUNDANE of our week (school, work, textbooks, paper, our cell phones, our cars, etc.) in order to focus on what REALLY counts -- olam habah, HaShem, learning Torah, mitzvot, family, spirituality, our neshamot!

May we embrace the Shabbat Queen and our neshama yetera with full ahavah and emunah, and may this chodesh shvat be full of "besorot tovot" - only good news, health, happiness, clarity, and closeness to HaKadosh Baruch Hu!
(Shevat = Shin.Bet.Vet. = "sh'yehiyu be'sorot tovot")

Shabbat shalom u'mevurach! :)

A light at the end of the tunnel

I was at a chagiga, and a Rabbi came to speak to us gals. This time, I was really, REALLY hoping the shiur wouldn't be about dating. My mind pleaded "please, PLEASE. I'm finally AWAY from all eligible bachelors. I'm at an all girls party. It's a motzei-Shabbat. PLLLLEEEAAASE don't bring it up."

So, of course, he brought it up.
Except, ironically enough, I'm grateful that he did. It was an INCREDIBLE shiur because it included an amazingly moving story with a wonderful message. I don't think I'll ever forget it. Here goes:

There was a man who was married to his wife for over 10 years. Unfortunately, his wife couldn't have children, and her husband greatly contemplated the issue and decided that although he very much loves his wife, he desperately wants his own children; it would be best to get divorced. He went to the rabbinate to give her a get, and the rabbis urged him to think his decision through. The rabbi told him "although it's a mitzvah for a divorced man to remarry his wife, a cohen is forbidden to do so. You're a cohen. If you divorce your wife, you'll never ever be able to remarry her. Under no circumstances will you be able to marry her or live with her again. Please think about your decision and be SURE that this is what you want to do." He thought about it more and came back the next day, still wanting to get divorced. The rabbi again urged him. "Are you sure?" The man had enough pressure already and urgently responded "yes, yes! I'm sure. Rabbi, I've thought about it many times already. I'm sure that we're getting divorced." And it was done. They got divorced and everything was finalized. The man was now free as a bird and ready to remarry someone and hoped to have children.

A few months passed by, and he received a phone call. It was his ex-wife. All he heard on the other end up the line was sobbing.
"Hello? Chana, hello? Is that you?"
He heard a mumbled yes through her sobs.
"Honey, honey, calm down. What is it? Are you okay, what happened?"
She could barely get out the words: I'm pregnant.

"Aa-a-are you sure?"
"Yes, I went to the doctors for check-ups and everything. And a DNA test. I'm sure. I don't know what to do..."

At that moment, everything turned into a blur for this man. His ex-wife, whom he was in love with, was carrying his child. And they could never ever be married again. The rabbinate made it clear to him. And now this child would barely be raised with a normal frum family. And the main reason he divorced his wife was because she couldn't have children!

The man was extremely distressed. He went to his Rav and asked him what to do. His Rabbi suggested that he go speak to a Gadol Hador in Israel. He flew to Israel and immediately went to this Rabbi. He cried his heart out and told him the story. "Rabbi, what do I do?" The Rabbi told him he feels very bad, but there's nothing he can do. "I suggest you go to Rav Elyashiv."

So, the man went to speak to Rav Elyashiv. After hearing the story, Rav Elyashiv took the man's hands into his own and started crying with him. "A Jew in pain is so difficult to see." He said, and then suggested "go to the Kotel. That's where Jews go when they're in pain -- go there and pray to HaShem."

The man went to the Kotel. He prayed with all of his heart and energy and tears streamed down his face. He prayed to HaShem for help and salvation. He felt helpless; he didn't know what else to do.
Another man was also by the Kotel. He witnessed this poor man, crying, looking so miserable. He slowly approached him and gently said "excuse me, I've noticed that you look very upset. Sometimes it helps, when you have a heavy heart and much on your mind, to share it with another Jew. Would you like to tell me what happened?"

It was true. He had a lot of emotions bottled up, and so, he figured - why not? He told the stranger his story, and the stranger listened but remained silent. After hearing everything, he asked the man "are either of your parents still alive?"
"Well, yes. Just my father."
"Go speak to him. Tell him the story."
"Speak to my father? He's very old and in a nursing home. He's barely functioning...he often doesn't even respond when people speak to him."
"Listen, just go and speak to him. Your heart is heavy. It'll help you to share this with him."

The man wasn't foolish. He realized -- there's a connection. His Rav sent him to the Rav in Israel, who sent him to Rav Elyashiv, who sent him to the Kotel, and now he met this guy who's suggesting that he speak his father. Why not? It's worth a shot.

Eventually, the man flew back to the US. When he was there, he paid his father a visit. His father's eyes were closed, and he was laying down in his hospital bed with machines beeping around him.
The man sighed and decided that regardless whether or not his father could hear him, he's sharing the story. So again, with much turmoil burning inside of him, he relayed the whole story. He poured his heart out. How he regrets his decision, how much his exwife is suffering, how much the child will suffer and miss out on, how he flew to Israel to all these different people and now is back in the US without an answer. Still suffering. Tears flowed down his face, and he buried his face in his hands.

Amidst his sobs, he heard a voice.
"Remarry your wife." His father said.
What did he just say? My father MUST be crazy. This is just further proof that he's not "here" and not functioning, the man thought.
"Father, I can't remarry her. I'm a cohen."
"No, you're not."
Is he senile?
"Father, you are a cohen, and therefore, I am a cohen." The man patiently explained.
"No, son. I am a cohen, but you are not a cohen."
"What do you mean?"
"Your mother and I weren't able to have children together. So, we adopted. You are adopted. We never wanted to tell you, & we were advised to treat you as if you were our biological son. Therefore, you are not really a cohen."

The man was shocked.
And of course, BH, he remarried his wife, and she gave birth to a healthy baby.


What do we learn from this (true) story? No matter how dark your life seems, or how hopeless a situation seem -- it NEVER is hopeless. HaShem always helps us. He's just waiting for us to make an effort and pray to Him!
Let's say the man in the story accepted his exwife's pregnancy as fact; without ever consulting a Rav. Or just consulting one Rav. He probably would've never found out that he's not a cohen, and he would've never been able to remarry his wife. The child would grow up without his father as his mother's husband. It's BECAUSE the man CARED enough to find salvation, and he SOUGHT answers and clarity --- that's why his case was solved!

As Rabbi Frand beautifully puts it:
"All too often, people have terrible problems. They cannot imagine how these terrible problems will ever be resolved. They need to realize that the salvation of G-d comes in the blink of an eye.
There are so many times in life when salvation of G-d comes in the blink of an eye. We can bang our heads against the wall and wail "What's going to be! What's going to be!" But things suddenly turn around. That is why the Torah emphasizes "they RUSHED him [Yosef] out of the pit". Things can turn around on a dime."

We need to seek HaShem. It doesn't matter what the situation is. Whether it's growing closer to Him, or doing well in school and on finals, or restoring our health, or sending us our zivugim -- we need G-d's help! We even need G-d's help, not ONLY for doing positive mitzvot, but also to keep us from doing an avera. For not speaking lashon hara, for not disrespecting our parents, not sleeping late and missing davening/minyan.
Nothing is difficult for G-d. He can give us anything in less than a second.
We need Him for every "little" thing. And we can never, ever give up. a Jew doesn't give up. Why? Because we have HaShem. And NOTHING is impossible for HaShem. He created every single concept in this world...from our families to our emotions to our surroundings.

I was speaking to a friend of mine about dating. This friend has been dating for quite a while already (b"H she should find her zivug b'karov; she really deserves a wonderful husband) and has dated more than 50 different men. At that time, I had recently went through a difficult break-up with someone that I had very strong feelings for, and the guy cha-cha danced all over my heart. I complained to her..."oh, Jessica. I'm so disheartened now. I'm terrified of dating --what if this happens again?"
She told me a story of how a man was once trying to open a radio station. He was rejected by the first 15 labels he tried. But he kept trying. On the 33rd attempt, he finally MADE it, and eventually, produced 50 radio stations.
"Sefardi Gal, I'm telling you this because you can't give up." Maybe guy (or girl) #15 rejects you, and even guy #30, but guy #33 can be THE ONE to change it all for you. And you'll never know unless you keep trying -- and reach that special number!

May we all have the strength to know that HaShem loves ALL of us, and He never gives up on any of us, so we shouldn't give up on Him - either! Especially NOW, during this holy spiritual time period of Shovavim -- keep praying, and b"H we'll all see daily yeshuot v'nechamot in our lives! :)

Happy Cccccchanukah!!!!!!!

I think the "I throw my latkes in the air sometimes, singing eyyyyooo! Spin the Dreidel!!!!" line is stuck in everyone's head at the moment.

In case you don't know what I'm referring to...


(Were sufganiyot really not mentioned??)

Speaking (well writing. Actually...typing) of sufganiyot -- my friend showed me this hilarious video:

We were all cracking up! :D

I ALWAYS miss Israel and seminary during Chanukah. I was (and am) extremely close with my roomies. We all lit together and gazed at the lights, had an awesome chagiga, had crazy hyper moments (that was every day, though!), and ate sufganiyot, of course ;)
(Uri's Caramel Sufganiyot!)
The environment in Israel is always just so special. During Chanukah, everyone lit outside and the family togetherness was simply heartwarming.

My amazing friend shared a nice dvar Torah with me about Chanukah.
"Yavan" (Greece) in Hebrew is spelled "yud" "vav" "nun"...the three letters are shaped as vetical lines that ascendingly get longer. The Greek culture focused mainly on the body, on the external factors of a person. They worshipped the body and idols, both of which are extremely materialistic & don't have any potential or spiritual growth. "Yavan" also means "quicksand" in Hebrew. That's because materialism and physicality are like quicksand...they grab you and then pull you in, making it laborious to get out and save yourself.
Now, clearly, not ALL materialism is bad. Mesillat Yesharim makes it clear that as Jews, we raise the physical by incorporating spirituality into it. But certain mentalities are totally antiethical to Judaism. For example, being so obsessed with our blackberries, to the point that we can't focus on davening or learning Torah. Why can't we turn off our phones for 30 minutes? Are we THAT attached to the meaningless gadgets? More attached to them than we are to HaShem?
Another example that comes to mind is Tzniut. The Yevanim didn't have ANY concept of modesty. If they wore any clothing, it was very minimal. They wanted to show off the body as much as possible. Some girls think that as long as they're wearing a long sleeved shirt and some form of a skirt, they're good to go. They can get by without having anyone chastize them. But it doesn't have to do with criticism! It has to do with appreciating yourself (your holy neshama) enough to cover up -- to the point that your body isn't the main factor that you're associated with. To tell people: I'm more than my body. I appreciate my myself, I have a brain, I have thoughts, feelings, ambitions, etc. And that's what makes me -- not my body.
I have to deal with this a lot. Magazine, media, models, and all of the shtuyot aside, which outfits really are appropiate for a bat yisrael to wear? It requires a lot of thought, honesty, and inner strength. If any frum man rejects a girl because she's dressed tzanua, then what does he value, exactly? Does she really want to have such a husband? I know that I don't.
A third example is competition. Yevanim were beyond competitive. They had olympics, contests, etc. There's NO SUCH THING as competition in the Torah! Each individual is an important and significant member of Klal Yisrael. It's assur to step on someone to "make it big" -- be it at school, work, etc.

On Chanukah, there was a "Nes" (miracle) for the Maccabees, who didn't give in to Greek culture.
We all have "Nisyonot" (tests). Our lives are filled with Nisyonot and part of missions is to pass those tests. Nisayon in Hebrew is spelled "Nun" "Samech" "Yud" Vav" "Nun"
If you take away the last three letters (which spell "yavan"), you end up with "Nes" (miracle). If we take the "Yavan" out of our mentality and our lives, then b"H we'll see a great Nes in each of our lives! :)

Wishing you all a Chag Chanukah Sameach and Shabbat shalom! May we all have the strength to stay away from all of the harmful shtuyot, and may we merit to see miracles in our daily lives!

Lions, Volcanos, and Car Bombs, oh my!

These past couple of weeks have been full of nissim v'niflaot, as usual. Only this time, they were incredibly obvious, and I have no idea how so many people missed the point.

I was listening to a shiur that shed a lot of light on this issue.

As many of us know, there was a volcano erruption in Iceland that blocked out all flying traffic to and from Europe. The Rav mentioned how this is mida k'neged mida: when there was smoke from the crematoriums, where Jewish bodies were burned in the holocaust, that didn't stop people from flying and continuing with their lives. Davka now, a volcano with hot, dangerous lava that was in a freezing place decided to erupt. However, nobody was killed as a result of this.

FFWD to a few weeks later: a car bomb found in NYC's times square. Police said that had this bomb exploded, it would've wiped out thousands of people (not to mention the cars and buildings it would've ruined.) But no. *The bomb was removed right in time and nobody was killed.

After many people hear the news, how do they respond?

"Oh wow, that's scary."

"Oh, nothing happened. Phew."

Really, now. These are all signs from HaShem. It's a chessed from HaShem that nothing bad happened, but it's also a warning: we're doing something to trigger these potential tragedies.

It's a sign not only to us Jews, but to all Americans, Europeans, and everybody else around the world. It wasn't nature that told the volcano to erupt; it was G-d. G-d decided that now was the time. It was G-d Who decided that the bomb shouldn't have been set off.

What I took from these events was that Western society needs to quit thanking and blaming everything on nature and science. True, there is a technical and scientific reason. G-d made the world that way -- purposely, so that His presence shouldn't be incredibly obvious to the point that we can't have bechira. Western society needs to open their eyes and realize G-d is the one in charge; G-d is The One Who saves us.

Thankfully, these events have been pain-free. But what if the world continues to choose to be deaf and blind? Maybe then G-d will have to send us an even bigger "sign" -- except it might not be an easy and care-free that time around.

I'm not sure how people believe the big bang theory and evolution bologna. I don't buy that anyone REALLY believes in it; they use it as an excuse, so that they'll feel at ease with not following any particular religion. And therefore, be free of obligations.

I hope and pray that society will open up its eyes and see the greatness and glory of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, before the midda of "din" (judgment) has to be used.

*Perhaps this bomb will finally lead Americas to realize a miniscule of a percentage of how Israelis feel and live every day. It's a common occurence in Israel to have a "chefetz chashud" on a street; people phone the police, who then tell everyone to back up, blow it up, and then everyone procceeds with the rest of their regular daily schedule.